Little Green Men Line-by-Line

[May 20]

[Examination room]

QUARK: I knew Earth was a bad idea. Ferengis and humans have no business being together. But you had to go to Starfleet Academy.

 

[Hopeful Romantic]

ROM: Don't blame my son. It was your idea to use Gaila's shuttle.

 

[Sidewinder]

QUARK: And you were the one who said it was safe.

 

[sekundant]

NOG: Leave him alone. If it wasn't for my father, we'd all be dead.

 

[May 20]

ROM: Maybe we are dead.

 

[JanewayRulz!]

QUARK: What are you talking about?

 

[Sidewinder]

ROM: Maybe this is the Divine Treasury.

 

[May 20]

QUARK: Oh, don't be ridiculous. The Divine Treasury is made of pure latinum. Besides, where's the Blessed Exchequer? Where are the Celestial Auctioneers? And why aren't we bidding for our new lives?

 

[sekundant]

ROM: You don't think we're in the other place?

 

[May 20]

NOG: The Vault of Eternal Destitution?

 

[Kertrats47]

QUARK: Don't be ridiculous. The bar was showing a profit!

 

[sekundant]

(Enter two MPs followed by Wainwright, Nurse Garland and Professor Carlson.)
CARLSON: (carefully and with gestures) Welcome to Earth. We mean you no harm.
(The next is distorted, just as the Ferengi hear it.)
CARLSON: We're sorry we had to separate you from your ship, but I'm sure you can understand that we have lots of questions for you.

 

[May 20]

QUARK: Did you understand a word of that?

 

[Sidewinder]

ROM: Our universal translators must be malfunctioning. (Rom begins hitting his head behind his right ear. Quark and Nog follow suit.)

 

[sekundant]

WAINWRIGHT: What are they doing?

 

[Sidewinder]

GARLAND: Maybe it's some kind of greeting. (She imitates them)

 

[May 20]

CARLSON: She may be onto something.
(So everybody hits their heads. The Ferengi stare.)

 

[Orac]

Quark: What are they doing?

 

[May 20]

ROM: Maybe their universal translators are broken too.

 

[Orac]

Nog: No. They don't have universal translators. I recognize those uniforms from my guidebook. They're from the 20th century.