Lines You'd Never Hear in Trek

[Redshirts_Widow]

Kirk: "If we went be the book, like Lt Saavik, Hours would seem like days.."

On Reliant-
Khan: "Damn him and his cunning codes, it'll take my genetically enhanced brain at least 2 seconds to crack that one..."

 

[Kolrad]

Cochrane: "So, you're telling me, you're all astronauts... in some kind of star wars?"

 

[new_mercury]

Engineers log
" There is absolutely nothing wrong wit this state of the art federation ship whatsoever"

WORKING HOLODECK: CHECK
WORKING WARP ENGINES: CHECK
WORKING TRANSPORTER: CHECK
INTACT POWER SYSTEMS: CHECK
COMPUTER INTERFACE FIREWALLED AND VIRUS PROTECTED

 

[Dale]

Kolrad said:
Cochrane: "So, you're telling me, you're all astronauts... in some kind of star wars?"

 

[captcalhoun]

"So, you're telling me you're all astronauts in some kind of...star bar?"


one for the Brits.

 

[Balthier the Great]

"Not now, I'm watching Dr. Who!"

"I never wanted to do this in the first place.
I wanted to be A LUMBERJACK!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDrIMzHzQQk

 

[MetalPants]

Trip: Chef says he's trying something new for your dinner tonight Cap'n.

Archer: Have you seen Porthos?

 

[Brennyren]

Janeway: I think you're right, Chakotay -- maybe I am being too aggressive. (Actually, "I think you're right, Chakotay," would probably do.... )

Janeway: It's way too late in the evening to drink regular coffee, so I ordered decaf instead.

Picard: A good book? That's your idea of relaxation? Dammit, I wanted to hit something!

Crusher: Jean-Luc, there's absolutely nothing I have to tell you. (Hard-core P/Cers will get it! )

Brennyren

 

[David cgc]

Picard (Meeting Mrs. Crusher for the first time): Damn, my best friend's wife is hot! I gotta get me some of that!

Kirk (During "Amok Time"): Damn, my best friend's wife is hot! I gotta get me some of that!

Archer (Looking at Lizzie's picture while Trip is mourning): Damn, my best friend's sister was hot! I gotta get me some of that!

Sisko (Right after meeting Jadzia): Damn, my best friend is hot! I gotta get me some of that!

Janeway (In the "Endgame" timeline, after the infamous pairing): Damn, my best friend's wife is hot! I gotta get me some of that!

 

[Redshirts_Widow]

Scene: Genesis Cave
McCoy to Marcus: Seriously, your old man is one hell of a tactician. He beat the Kobayashi Maru, outwitted countless Klingon and Romulans. He's got one hell of a mind for getting out of difficult situations. He'll come up with a unique solution to our predicament, you just watch...

Kirk: KHAAAAANNNNN!!!!

McCoy: Um, he does get better honestly...

 

[KyleCHaight]

"Change the channel."

"The holodeck is working perfectly."

 

[captcalhoun]

"anyone wanna join me in the holodeck for some Unreal Tournament 2377?"

"hey, what's the new holodeck prog you've been using Tom?"
Paris "Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith"

"I'll be in the holodeck playing football."
"you mean 'soccer'"
"no, i mean FOOTBALL!"

 

[TheArsenal]

Geordi: Captain the anomaly has caused an overload in our phase tonal transition coils. I've tried reversing polarity through alternate warp couplings but we may have to re-route everything through the deflect –

Picard: Hold on a second. "Overload in the phase tonal what-a-whats?" I've been on star ships for years and never heard anything vaguely like that before. You're making that up on the spot. None of that even remotely makes sense. In fact, you're just stringing words together as fast as you can hoping I'm only half listening, aren't you?

Geordi: Captain! Please! No, I, would never ...yes. Yes I am. I'm making it all up. I have no idea what I'm saying. Never did. And it worked fine all these years until right this moment.

 

[KJM]

Khan: *looks at Chekov* Y'know what? I don't seem to remember you...

 

[Hofner]

Here's a line that is so idiotic that it would be impossible to be heard on Star Trek. No writer can be that stupid.

"I'm with Starfleet, we don't lie."

Oops, wait a minute...

Robert

 

[GreenBlood]

Spock: "Illogically speaking...".

 

[LiquidCougar]

Shatmandu said:
O'Brien: "I finally changed all the light bulbs on the station. Everything's nice and bright."

larris said:
Borg- We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. Your technology will be used to service us. From this day forward, your life as you know it, will no longer exist. Lower you shields, and prepare to be boarded.....unless you'd rather we didn't.

"Don't worry, my security team can handle it."

 

[Hofner]

Redshirt: I'm back from the planet's surface, safe and sound.

Robert

 

[Aragorn]

KIRK: "You can't recast Obi-Wan Kenobi with a younger actor! That's raping my childhood!"

 

[GreenBlood]

Data: "Pinocchio?, Never heard of him."