Ladies, do you often get approached on the street?

[sidious618]

The last handful of posts from mecha, sidious and spooky have made this thread more entertaining than I expected it would be. Please, everyone, continue with more tales of sleazy attempted hook-ups.

I forgot to mention it was a 17 year old girl who offered me the ride.

 

[Spot's Meow]

I don't think I've ever been approached in public by a complete stranger, discounting cat calls and strange stares from creepers driving by (what a disgusting feeling that gives you). There have been guys from school that I saw every now and then in class that eventually approached me, but completely strangers? I really can't remember that happening. Maybe because I've had a boyfriend for the past 5 years...I seem to give off some "I'm taken" vibe when I have a boyfriend.

Anyway, if I was single and it did happen, it would all depend on the circumstances. Oh! I just remembered one guy...I was riding the bus and I had seen him there a couple of times. He was a foreign student from Germany, I think, and we were waiting at the same stop one night and he just kept talking to me, asking me tons of questions about my schoolwork and what I planned to do with my degree, etc. And then the bus comes and he sits right next to me on an empty bus. And he talks incessantly about his music program, and although nothing he specifically said was too weird, I just felt really uncomfortable about the whole thing. I tried to avoid him when I saw him on the bus in the future. It's not always what you say but how you present yourself...and he just felt creepy to me. It's hard to describe. It's like you feel that whatever he's actually saying to you, he is really thinking about the ulterior motives in his mind.

Now on that same bus route, I have witnessed men hitting on women in very appropriate and nice ways. On a crowded bus a young man sat next to a young woman (they were right in front of me) and said hello. We were leaving a university stop so he asked if she went there. She said yes and she had a strong Australian accent. The man said that her accent sounded very nice and mentioned that he had been to Australia once and it was lovely. They then talked about where she was going and why she was in the country. She mentioned that she has to take the bus downtown to go shopping because she doesn't have a car here. The man said that he lived on campus and was also going shopping but that his car was in the shop. After what had been an appropriate amount of introduction and chatting, the man said that maybe sometime when his car was fixed they could go into downtown together for shopping or coffee. She sounded very pleased about this and said that would be great. He asked for a way to contact her and she gave him her phone number, then his stop came up and he got off the bus. Success in a non-creepy way!

 

[enlisted person]

I approached women a couple times in Czech republic when I got lost or was trying to find something and found them to be very helpful and friendly. It was usually some work because they did not speak english but they tried very hard. If they thought I was a freak for doing this, they didn't show it.

 

[Kestra]

Well what I mean by approached is to chat and ask for a number. I've been seeing this girl at the park while running a few times and I would like to talk to her. But I think the automatic response to a stranger chatting you up is that this guy no doubt is a creepy. A bummer really.

Really? You guys don't get approached often? I thought it happens to girls all the time. I would have more courage if I knew other guys do it all the time. I guess I should have addressed this topic to guys as well and ask them what they usually do if they see a girl they like on the subway or park.

I think I'd be a bit weirded out or put off by someone approaching me while I was running in the park. It shouldn't have to be that way but I think just being in the city I've gotten to the point where a person randomly coming up to me is seldom an interaction that I would actually want.

The subway might be a more natural place to strike up conversation but really, it just depends on how you do it. I was on the el recently when this guy started trying to flirt with a girl. I could tell he was nervous but I was impressed with the fact that he was actually going for it and seizing the opportunity in a crowded subway car full of people. Unfortunately she didn't seem into him and then they had an awkward ride together till they both got of at the same stop.

Being approached by a stranger shouldn't be bad automatically but you don't know what the past experiences of the woman (or man) are so they may respond in an unusual way.

 

[Jetfire]

In line at the grocery store.

 

[Kestra]

I was approached at the grocery store once. Actually it was an old dude who was behind me in line making comments about what I was purchasing. In the parking lot he asked me if I wanted to come over to his house to wash my hair (I had bought shampoo). I've also been proposed to at the grocery store by a total stranger.

 

[Jetfire]

^
OMG!

 

[kes7]

I was approached at the grocery store once. Actually it was an old dude who was behind me in line making comments about what I was purchasing. In the parking lot he asked me if I wanted to come over to his house to wash my hair (I had bought shampoo). I've also been proposed to at the grocery store by a total stranger.

OMG! to the old dude ... that is so creepy. Do people not know they're creepy, or do they just not care?

The random proposals are hilarious. I got one in the grocery store (popular venue!), one at the airport, and one at a party.

This thread almost makes me miss my single days ... almost.

 

[Shatnertage]

Kestra's hair-washing thing is the creepiest I've heard yet. And because Holdfast liked it so much, I'll share something a little more absurd from my past.

This was back when I was working security. I was doing traffic detail, which basically means standing outside for long periods of time waving cars around. I forget exactly why, but for some reason a very sweet little old lady parked her car close to where I was stationed--I think she was waiting for someone or something. We talked briefly about how cold it was outside.

She asked me what I liked to do for fun. I said between work and school I didn't have a lot of spare time. She asked me if I "went steady." I replied, "Not all the time," because I didn't know what that meant--sounded like 1950s dating slang, though.

Then she asked me if I'd like to come sit inside her car. I said, no, I really had to direct traffic (even though there wasn't a lot of it). She asked me again, and I said no again.

She then said, "Please come in and sit with me. I promise I won't do anything."

Now keep in mind this is someone's grandmother. But "I promise I won't do anything" is enough of a red flag that I put some distance between myself and the Tweety Bird lady.

 

[thestrangequark]

Yes, I get approached often. 98% of the time the men are age-inappropriate, sleazy, obnoxious, boorish, smelling, or otherwise offensive. These men make me feel depressed, objectified, or just give me the creeps. The remaining 2% are either so bizarre it's hysterical or they are normal guys who want my number. The few times a nice, normal man has approached me for conversation or a date I've found it very flattering.
The most memorable was a man who approached me in the middle of the night in the East Village. It was cold, but he was wearing only shorts, a tee, and flip flops. He was holding two long-stemmed red roses and, with sad look he offered them to me, saying, "Won't you take my flowers? Nobody wants my flowers." He put them into my hand and then gently brushed my cheek with his and said, "You have beautiful skin." Then he waled away!

 

[Jetfire]

I think alot of the creepier guys feel they have nothing to lose by being creepy.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

I can't say any stories for myself, but I did have a co-worker who had a creepy old man try and hit on her while we were both at work. She was 17 years old and he was probably 70, so that added an extra bit of creepiness to it. Plus, his pickup line was "your boss should give you the rest of the day off so you can spend it with me."

 

[TheGodBen]

I was walking down the street late one night when a guy walking behind me said "You've got a nice arse". I said "Thanks" and began to walk a little faster. On the one hand, it was dark and nobody else was around, so I was a little creeped out. But on the other hand, I do have a great arse (it's firm, like mutton).

 

[Kestra]

Kestra's hair-washing thing is the creepiest I've heard yet.

Well I do have fantastic hair.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Ask her out for a coffee. Simple as that. If she isn't a weirdo, she'll say yes.

So if she says no, she's a weirdo?

Speaking of weirdos... I was out for a walk in my neighborhood one day years ago, and some woman hollered across the street to me, "Hey, are you gay?"

 

[TorontoTrekker]

The last handful of posts from mecha, sidious and spooky have made this thread more entertaining than I expected it would be. Please, everyone, continue with more tales of sleazy attempted hook-ups.

I forgot to mention it was a 17 year old girl who offered me the ride.

That makes the story a lot less interesting.

I remember one day, when I was in university, I was in Toronto on a work term and living at my father's place in Scarborough (a borough of Toronto back then, before they absorbed all of the boroughs into the city). Now, Scarborough is not a hotbed of gay culture - far from it. I had just gone to the convenience store to buy cigarettes, and was on my way back to my father's place when an older man (I was to say he was in his 60s or 70s) pulled up alongside me in the parking lot outside the store. He rolled down his window and beckoned me over. Thinking that he wanted directions, I leaned down toward the open window. He said, "Would you like to have sex with me?"

Talk about getting straight to the point. I declined and carried on my way back to my father's place.

I have my own subway story as well. Just last week - I think it was Tuesday - I was running a bit late for work. I got to the subway and was going down the stairs when I heard that the train I wanted was at the platform. I ran, but the doors started closing before I got to them. So I jumped in - and my backpack got caught in the door. I was struggling to get in when all of a sudden I felt two hands on my ass and was pushed inside. I turned around, and behind me was a cute young guy carrying a skateboard, with a big smile on his face. I thanked him for the push, and we got to chatting. He introduced himself as Noah - insert your own cheesy flood-related pickup line here. It turned out he was a bit older than he looked - I'd taken him for a high school student, but he was actually a university student.

Unfortunately, he felt the need to mention twice during our conversation that he has a girlfriend. I guess he felt he had to make amends for putting his hands on my ass by making it clear that he wasn't coming on to me.

Yes, I was disappointed.

 

[SilentP]

Does being told by an old hobo that 'you have great child bearing hips' count as coming on to you?

 

[Cheapjack]

There's cameras most places, now, aren't there? In towns at least. They might not always be switched on, and they can't pick up chat up lines, but they can spot a leer.

 

[Deckerd]

I'm only approached on the street cautiously, with a big net and a cattle prod.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Kestra's hair-washing thing is the creepiest I've heard yet.

Well I do have fantastic hair.

I think that was great. It inspires me to want to become a creepy old man.