I was going to say private holodeck time doesn't make sense considering how many would be off duty at any given time but we saw plenty of private programs, B'Elanna and Tom on dates etc..
Janeway's personal log on Fair Haven:
"I met an interesting man there, and for a while I almost forgot he was a hologram. We weren't exactly compatible, but then again, Mister Paris didn't programme him to my specifications. "
You can bet she deleted everything--
I don't think it so much the fantasy about cheating, as much as she knew the character had a wife, and needed her out the way to get what she wanted from him.
This is interesting, because there was obviously something about his roughness that attracted her to him.Janeway's personal log on Fair Haven:
"I met an interesting man there, and for a while I almost forgot he was a hologram. We weren't exactly compatible, but then again, Mister Paris didn't programme him to my specifications. "
But even more telling, she nearly forgot he was a hologram, he was so realistic to her.
Which suggests she had to have taken his marriage seriously--she fell for him anyway, and technically speaking, got rid of the wife.
I know this sounds silly, but the issue still remains, would the wife have liked what she did with her husband?
It was 19th century Ireland, not to different from Ireland today.
The wife is allowed to hit you once with the frying pan and then all is forgiven.
What I learnt from watching 3 seasons of Deadwood is that wives would not give and would not be asked to give blow jobs. It was seen as unclean, and doubly so for sodomy. Which is why prostitutes were a necessary evil before men and women could talk frankly about their sexual needs before committing to the rest of their lives together.
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