Yeah, that is key and ties into my point of changing yourself until you like yourself.
I've mostly given up...
- Thread starter Trekker4747
- Start date
Yeah, that is key and ties into my point of changing yourself until you like yourself.
Gee, I can't think why you didn't find anyone that night. Are you using a similar approach to online dating as well? While I can't speak for all women, most of the time my interest in someone is sparked not by appearance, but by shared interest or personality. THEN comes along appearance/physical. Sure, I notice hot men, but I'm not interested in approaching or talking to them just because they're hot. That guy at a book sale holding a copy of my favourite book... he'd better watch out because I might jump him right there.
Be happy with yourself and it shows. Genuinely like yourself. Do things that you love and are interested in. I can't think of any of my friends that are in a relationship with someone that they met at a club or bar. A few met online with shared interests, others taking college courses, and the rest out doing things - clubs, meetings, etc.
You don't seem to like yourself all that much, or much of your life, and your interests seem to be leaned towards a hottie sex goddess who will screw your brains out, and then anything beyond that is secondary. Not saying this is all true, but it's what you give off, and have given off for years.
You have given Trekker4747 the advice I was planning to give him.
The last thing I would expect my man to be is 'hot'. I have average looks so I don't think a 'hottie' would be all that interested in me. I aim for someone who is on par with me with some shared interests.
If I was using an online dating service I wouldn't trust someone who made himself seem too awesome. If he was actually that great why is he using a dating service? So I would assume that he was lying about himself.
Gee, I can't think why you didn't find anyone that night. Are you using a similar approach to online dating as well? While I can't speak for all women, most of the time my interest in someone is sparked not by appearance, but by shared interest or personality. THEN comes along appearance/physical. Sure, I notice hot men, but I'm not interested in approaching or talking to them just because they're hot. That guy at a book sale holding a copy of my favourite book... he'd better watch out because I might jump him right there.
Be happy with yourself and it shows. Genuinely like yourself. Do things that you love and are interested in. I can't think of any of my friends that are in a relationship with someone that they met at a club or bar. A few met online with shared interests, others taking college courses, and the rest out doing things - clubs, meetings, etc.
You don't seem to like yourself all that much, or much of your life, and your interests seem to be leaned towards a hottie sex goddess who will screw your brains out, and then anything beyond that is secondary. Not saying this is all true, but it's what you give off, and have given off for years.
I'm not looking for a "hottie sex goddess who will screw my brains out" but, yes, I would prefer it if the person I end up with is someone I'm physically attracted to.
I can't very well know a person's interests, dreams and amibtions by looking at them so all I've got to go on is looks.
But I don't even care about sex.
"Really hit it off" doesn't quite describe it. I'm not sure what does. For now I'm satisfied just having a new friend....if it goes further, cool, but I'm not going to push for it just yet.
Though I will say a Terminator Marathon is an interesting date. You have a great way to end the evening: Take her to the bedroom and say "Come with me if you want to live."
I think maybe I'll worry about whether or not to put an arm around her before I start thinking in those terms.
Looking back this seems like I'm saying you're not awesome or something. I just meant that I can make your profile seem great. You seem like a great guy to me, Trekker.
Why are you looking at the hotties? Why not look at girls with average looks, it is just as easy to be physically attracted to them. Say "she looks like a nice, friendly girl" rather than "she is a hottie".
I only date hotties. It's easier because if they have a fever they just deliriously agree to go out with me.
I know, I just can't resist the joke.
I met the woman I dated for a while at a party, offering to move her car off the street so it wouldn't get a parking ticket. Chance stuff does happen.
That said, after going on dates for a couple of months, she sent me a text message saying she only wanted to be platonic. Totally floored me, dashing my confidence and general sense of contentedness, the latter having been a rather foreign feeling. Thinking back, I think my issue was moving too slowly, as I didn't want to push intimacy too early and make things awkward, so I overcorrected.
After stewing for a week, I've since spoken to her on the phone and at a party. We had a good conversation but was initially aloof at the party; things were better though when we had a bit of time to talk alone. I'm hoping I earned a bit of a reprieve and will call her after about a week of "off time" to test the waters.
I just can't move myself to join a dating site or serial date a bunch of women. If I like someone, I want to focus my attention, not dissipate it. This woman's fundamentally a really honest and kind person, so I'm hoping she'll clue in and give me another chance not to be stupid about things.
That said, after going on dates for a couple of months, she sent me a text message saying she only wanted to be platonic. Totally floored me, dashing my confidence and general sense of contentedness, the latter having been a rather foreign feeling. Thinking back, I think my issue was moving too slowly, as I didn't want to push intimacy too early and make things awkward, so I overcorrected.
After stewing for a week, I've since spoken to her on the phone and at a party. We had a good conversation but was initially aloof at the party; things were better though when we had a bit of time to talk alone. I'm hoping I earned a bit of a reprieve and will call her after about a week of "off time" to test the waters.
I just can't move myself to join a dating site or serial date a bunch of women. If I like someone, I want to focus my attention, not dissipate it. This woman's fundamentally a really honest and kind person, so I'm hoping she'll clue in and give me another chance not to be stupid about things.
I'm unlucky at love too so I pretty much devote my time to my work and my hobby of wargaming.
I'm 29 and I've been dating my first girlfriend for only 3 weeks. I don't know how it happened but somehow I found this wonderful, beautiful young woman I can't even imagine life without. We have gotten close, done so many things together. We have gotten pretty inimate and are very much in love.
My point is if it can happen to me, it can happen to you
My point is if it can happen to me, it can happen to you
Is this why you want to be in a relationship then?
Seriously, why DO you want to be in a relationship? Answer that (not to me, to yourself), and you might have a reason why you aren't in one.
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
Go volunteer to do some charity work, sometimes there can be some really hot single women that do the same that you could meet and they're not bitches.
You're not getting anywhere with girls because of your attitude. Have a little self confidence. Also, don't be picky. Have you tried the personals on craigslist? They're free...
You think so? It seems like most everything that ever happened to me happened because I wasn't looking where I was going.
You may have just invented a very lucrative career.
If you said that in your profile, we may have identified the problem.
And smiling.Try going back to that night spot or a different one, and work up the nerve to talk to a girl. Most are really friendly and decent, even if they end up not being interested. Your chances of someone becoming interested in you are greatly improved by showing interest in others.
Although I'd advise some place else but a "night spot", like launderette, book club, art class, choir, etc., etc.
TheLonelySquire
Vice Admiral
Trekker,
You don't appear too happy with your lot in life. You drone on and on about the unfairness of the system and your place in it. Women, should you ever have the courage to approach one, do not want to hear this.
It's all about having game, bro. Women want a man to be a man and to make his own path. They want a confident guy too. Being a wallflower takes you out of the mix.
You may be the nicest guy in the world, but if you're scared of women you're making it easier for guys that do have stones to meet the girls you so covet.
You don't appear too happy with your lot in life. You drone on and on about the unfairness of the system and your place in it. Women, should you ever have the courage to approach one, do not want to hear this.
It's all about having game, bro. Women want a man to be a man and to make his own path. They want a confident guy too. Being a wallflower takes you out of the mix.
You may be the nicest guy in the world, but if you're scared of women you're making it easier for guys that do have stones to meet the girls you so covet.
Step one: don't be miserable, or at least hide it for a while or something. Step two: Turn off your computer and go do something you like to do, or have always wanted to do, most preferably where there are other people--no, make sure there are other people around; don't, say, go for a nice quiet walk down by the river all by yourself or sit in a mall and do crossword puzzles. Go take kickboxing lessons. Go take some academic classes somewhere. Join a boardgame club... the activity is up to you. Step three: Repeat step two.
Sounds like meeting that special someone should be secondary to you having fun and enjoying yourself. IMO, of course.
Sounds like meeting that special someone should be secondary to you having fun and enjoying yourself. IMO, of course.
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