If you die how many people will attend your funeral?

[iguana_tonante]

In principle, I don't want a funeral. When I'm gone I'm gone, no need to pay respect to a piece of dead meat. But then again, funerals are not for the dead, but for the living, to mourn and start the process of healing. So probably I will have one to give my family the opportunity for that.

About the number of people, doing some quick math gave me about 40-50 people between family and friends. A fair share, I suppose.

 

[Mr. B]

I can count my good friends on one hand and my extended family has been dying off these past couple years... I'd be surprised if 20 showed.

 

[jamestyler]

I have no idea. Though I'd be sure to to a test run first, then hunt down and kill those who didn't show up.

Then do the real funeral.

Family is hit and miss, a few friends would show up. All that'd matter to me is if my ex showed up with our daughter. I wouldn't care if no one else bothered, I'd like to think I was worth the effort.

Oddly it's a subject that came up recently - as a wrestler I'd demand a ten bell salute from my home company, but I have serious doubts they'd mention it. It'd kinda spoil the show.

Though that makes me wonder how people would find out. My family would figure out I was dead at some stage. They have no connection to my wrestling friends, only half my family speak to my immediate family and if it was in the paper (the whole thought came up as a family member died in a fire last week and it was discovered reading the news) I'd be willing to bet they'd print my birth name, not the stage name which I'm far more commonly known under.

I'd actually bet I'd get a pretty low turnout. No one would know I was dead.

 

[Aragorn]

None at mine. 'cause there isn't going to be one. and the family knows it.

You're a Highlander?

 

[rramarr]

I don't care about how many I just think about all the false statements and fake emotions that will be displayed.

"We were the best of friends..."
"I knew him best"
"If he was still here I would tell him..."
"I know he's with Jesus..."

 

[jkladis]

I can't think of a better question that effectively prods the self-pitying. "Nobody likes me" blah, blah.

 

[iguana_tonante]

I don't care about how many I just think about all the false statements and fake emotions that will be displayed.

"We were the best of friends..."
"I knew him best"
"If he was still here I would tell him..."
"I know he's with Jesus..."

That's why I want a civil ceremony, not a religious one. If some priest start saying something about Jesus at my funeral, my closest associates are authorized to break out the chains and cudgels and start a riot.

 

[think]

I will not be at my funeral you will have to kill me to get me there ..!!!

When I was at God's funeral - I looked down on them - the others, who were there, because the real death was unnoticed by most of the attendees going. // sometimes // death is like a dove that would break a wing just to see if it would break. or a cream pie that never leaves the bakery till it spoils and then it is just thrown out. //

 

[Ro_Laren]

Probably not a lot. Just the mandatory family members that feel obligated to attend. LOL...

 

[SeerSGB]

Hopefully zero-- aside from my wife. I've left clear orders that I want no funeral, no mourners-- especially family. Cremate me, divide my ashes by 3 (1 to the family cemetery, 1 to be buried with the wife, 1 to be taken to Ireland) and be done with it. Most of my family doesn't like me in life, and I don't want no false "Oh he was such a good man" bullshit going on.

 

[CommodoreKong]

I'm only 22, so I would imagine the number would be pretty high, with all of my classmates, friends, relatives and parent's friends.

 

[pookha]

i want a memorial service out in a garden and not a funeral.
and then a wake.
some will come to one,, some the other and some both.
i dont have a clue how many because already there are people who would like to come but cant travel.

 

[auntiehill]

Well, if I kick the bucket anytime soon, you are all invited to the service. That way, it will look like I had far more friends than I actually did.

 

[Daneel]

Cremate me, divide my asses by 3

How many asses do you have? Or do you actually own some donkeys?



As for my funeral... I don't know, I haven't given it much thought... while it's true unexpected things happen everyday, barring an accident or sudden illness, I expect to live for a very long time.

But if I did die, truth be told, I'd rather not have one. I just can't shake the feeling that it'll look like I have more friends in death than I ever had in life. Also (and this is my inferiority complex rearing its ugly head), I have a feeling that all the attendees will be thinking is, "Nice guy... shame he never did anything with his life" -- because if I died tomorrow, that's what a lot of people would probably think... and they'd be right. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and right now it's at a bit of a standstill.

Hopefully, by the time I die, I will have actually accomplished something... something that people will remember me for. Either way, I still wouldn't really care if I had a funeral or not -- I'm dead, what does it matter to me? But if whatever loved ones I leave behind feel the need to have a funeral, I trust they would know me well enough to realize that I would not want a religious service. None of that Jesus stuff at my funeral, thanks.

Oh, but I have told my younger sister (presuming she outlives me) that I would like Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" played at my funeral. I'd like to have a bit of a sense of humour about my death. Always leave them laughing, as it's said...

But the question at hand: how many people will actually attend my funeral? I don't know. I want them to surprise me.

I suppose it'll depend on how many of my relatives and friends are still alive when I shuffle off this mortal coil. Right now... probably quite a few. I have a decent-sized family, and while I don't really have any close friends, I have been friendly with a good number of people throughout my life. I'm not quite sure how many of them would feel compelled/obligated to attend my funeral, but I imagine the turnout at my visitation would be pretty high. (I'm not sure if visitations are common practice everywhere, or if it's just a Canadian/North American thing, but for those who don't know what it is: they are less-formal pre-funeral gatherings of friends and family, usually held in the day (or two days) leading up to the funeral. The ones I've been to will often have a guest book for visitors to sign, photos of the deceased, and the casket will be in the room --whether it's open or not is at the discretion of the family-- for those who wish to pay their final respects. As I said, I'm not sure if this or something similar is standard practice in most places, but it seems to be what's usually done around here when someone dies.)

 

[SalvorHardin]

How many will come ? I have no idea

I'm sure that the 23 or so people (friends and close family) I really,really care about will be there.

In the end, I really don't give a crap about funerals. I'll be dead. They might as well throw me to the dumpster.
And if religions are right i'll have bigger things to worry about, roasting in some kind of hell.

 

[SeerSGB]

Cremate me, divide my asses by 3

How many asses do you have? Or do you actually own some donkeys?

Man, talk about a typo Probably because I usually just say "Cremate my ass" when the topic comes up in real-world conversation.

I really don't believe in burial, it's a throwback to older more superstitious times, I believe that a grave site is more for the mourners than the dead-- a way to cling to the past, and think it's a waste of land that could be put to better uses.

 

[judge alba]

not going to have a funeral because i plan to live for ever

 

[Warp Coil]

I have no idea. Assuming that the news of my death was announced to everyone relevant who might need to know? Hmm... family, friends and probably a few co-workers. Minimum 20... max maybe 40. Not sure.