I would like advice on a dating issue

[doubleohfive]

While that's true, the important thing right now is for the OP to make his move. Just like we told Treker 2 years ago, just like we got finished telling Emher. Make your move. If she blows you off, cross her off the list (even if it's just for the time being) and move on.

 

[Captain Ice]

Dude. Just ask her out. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. At least then you'll know if she feels the same way.

 

[Emher]

While that's true, the important thing right now is for the OP to make his move. Just like we told Treker 2 years ago, just like we got finished telling Emher. Make your move. If she blows you off, cross her off the list (even if it's just for the time being) and move on.

As one of the subjects of this reference: just ask her out. It didn't work out for me since that girl already had a boyfriend unbeknowst to me, but it could work out for you. I know that I would have regretted it had I not asked. And so will you.

 

[Scout101]

worst that happens is she says no, which is exactly where you are right now, so...?

 

[Finn]

Okay. How did she tell you she has a crush on him. Was she all "Oh my god! He is so fine and he's so like cute", or just said something like "He's got a cute butt"

It might be all in the interpretion. I agree with others who said you should should go for it. The truth is you probably know a lot about this situtation than you have been letting on. Go ahead.

 

[Mr Awe]

Ask her out now. It's that simple. You two are good friends. There would be nothing inappropriated to asking her out. You won't regret asking her, even if she says, "no." But, you'd regret not asking her.

Mr Awe

 

[An Officer]

Make sure she realises you are asking her out in a romantic sense, as saying something like: "let's go for a coffee or dinner", may seem nothing out of the ordinary to her if you are already friends and in the habit of doing that anyway. I have seen confusions like this happen!

 

[greenguy]

it does sound like you're in the friendzone. You helped her get through the first year. You've known each other a while.

Most guys will tell u that once you've been friends for a while, you lost your chance. I dont believe that cuz I've seen my friends hook with girls they've known for years and I'm just like wtf? where did that come from.

I agree. It's definitely friendzone now, but it can change for the better, especially when things at the office and school calm down and she can fully absorb how consistently "there" the OP is for her. This is important and they already have things in common, so the foundation is definitely there. I just see no reason to try and rush things at a time when things are admittedly very hectic and her eyes are elsewhere. It makes no sense.

You can crush on someone and develop feelings for someone else. It's not like you can only be attracted to one person at a time. And just because a woman isn't thinking about you in a romantic way doesn't mean she can't or won't.

But that's not the point I'm trying to make, and I definitely expressed the latter part of your post in my OP. Of course those feelings can occur with more than one person, but it's the communication of such feelings that are indicative. My point is that it's quite improbable that a woman who is romantically and consciously interested a man, or thinks of him in that fashion, would walk up to him and tell him to his face that she likes another dude. Who honestly does this? If she wanted to play the field, I think she wouldn't have told the OP anything like this at all.

 

[TyberiusDeAngelo]

Okay. How did she tell you she has a crush on him. Was she all "Oh my god! He is so fine and he's so like cute", or just said something like "He's got a cute butt"

It might be all in the interpretion. I agree with others who said you should should go for it. The truth is you probably know a lot about this situtation than you have been letting on. Go ahead.

She hasn't gone into great detail with me. She has just told me once she thought is cute.

 

[sidious618]

Okay. How did she tell you she has a crush on him. Was she all "Oh my god! He is so fine and he's so like cute", or just said something like "He's got a cute butt"

It might be all in the interpretion. I agree with others who said you should should go for it. The truth is you probably know a lot about this situtation than you have been letting on. Go ahead.

She hasn't gone into great detail with me. She has just told me once she thought is cute.

Then don't worry about it at all; that comment is nothing. Ask her out.

 

[TyberiusDeAngelo]

it does sound like you're in the friendzone.

I started off there from the beginning. She was already in a long-term, long-distance relationship when we met. I didn't even entertain the idea of asking her out until just a few weeks ago when I found out they broke up.

 

[doubleohfive]

How did you find out she broke up with him?

 

[TyberiusDeAngelo]

How did you find out she broke up with him?

I asked her how her summer break was and she explained that while she was home her and her boyfriend decided their relationship wasn't working anymore with the distance between them. So they mutally decided to call it quits.

 

[Kestra]

You can crush on someone and develop feelings for someone else. It's not like you can only be attracted to one person at a time. And just because a woman isn't thinking about you in a romantic way doesn't mean she can't or won't.

But that's not the point I'm trying to make, and I definitely expressed the latter part of your post in my OP. Of course those feelings can occur with more than one person, but it's the communication of such feelings that are indicative. My point is that it's quite improbable that a woman who is romantically and consciously interested a man, or thinks of him in that fashion, would walk up to him and tell him to his face that she likes another dude. Who honestly does this? If she wanted to play the field, I think she wouldn't have told the OP anything like this at all.

I'm just trying to say that being "friendzoned" doesn't mean you have to stay there. Just because someone doesn't think of you in a certain way currently, doesn't mean they can't develop those feelings for you and reciprocate whatever romantic feelings you have.

There's no way of knowing, so the best thing to do is ask the person out and see where it goes.

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Don't over think it. What have you got to lose if you ask her out? She says no, you're right where you were.

Will anybody die? Will there be limbs lost? Will there be large amounts of blood spilled? Probably not.

There is no perfect time/ opportunity to ask her out so don't wait for it. Unlike the movies, there's no soundtrack to life that provides musical cues as to what's coming up next.

Good luck.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Carpe Diem. As has been pointed out, people regret more the thing they don't do.

As for the crush, don't worry about it; it's a fantasy about an older guy.

Go for it.

 

[TyberiusDeAngelo]

Hi everyone. I want to thank you all for your comments and advice. It really helped! Tonight as we were walking from our class, I asked her out for coffee. She said she couldn't because she she was most definately dating the older gentlemen in the department and they are trying to keep it on the DL to prevent rumors. She replied that she was flattered that I thought about her and told me I was her "her best guy friend." I have no regrets and glad I managed to work up the courage to ask. Again, thank you.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Sorry it went that way, man, but you did the right thing. At least you know where she stands, and you got a little more experience in matters of the heart. That's never a bad thing.

To make a general statement from your situation, I think people are too scared of having their advances rejected. It's not something horrible or scarring, except if you want it to be. It's not disrespectful for a guy to politely ask a woman out, and it's not disrespectful for a woman to politely decline the offer. At worst, you'd get a few awkward moments, and then people get over it.

So, kudos to you for your action, and may you have better luck next time.

 

[RandyS]

Has a small crush on someone else? Bad sign. But agree with above: ask. If no, move on.

Yeah, VERY bad sign, but I agree, ask her, if she says no, it's no.

 

[STR]

Hi everyone. I want to thank you all for your comments and advice. It really helped! Tonight as we were talking from our class, I asked her out for coffee. She said she couldn't because she she was most definately dating the older gentlemen in the department and they are trying to keep it on the DL to prevent rumors. She replied that she was flattered that I thought about her and told me I was her "her best guy friend." I have no regrets and glad I managed to work up the courage to ask. Again, thank you.

Wow, so she's robbing the grave is she? I'm actually going to say congrats on not getting this one. There's probably other things going on besides attraction that lead to that "relationship." I'm not going to be presumptious about someone I haven't met and list a Top 5 Reasons, but this isn't the first time I've seen people do this.

When it inevitably blows up, do yourself a favor and make yourself unavailable. You'll feel much better.