"I, Mudd" Line-by-Line!

[Enterprise1981]

KIRK: But we're unhappy here.

 

[LeadHead]

Alice 471: Explain "unhappy."

 

[Orac]

Spock: Unhappiness is the state which occurs in the human when wants and desires are not fulfilled.

 

[LeadHead]

Alice 471: Which wants and desires of yours are not being fulfilled?

 

[Enterprise1981]

KIRK: We want the Enterprise.

 

[Orac]

(Alice's label flashes.)

Alice 471: The Enterprise is not a want or a desire. It is a mechanical device.

 

[Enterprise1981]

KIRK: No, it's a beautiful lady, and we love her.

 

[Orac]

Alice 471: Illogical. Illogical. All units relate. All units. Norman, co-ordinate. Unhappiness does not relate. We must study this.

(She leaves.)

 

[Enterprise1981]

KIRK: Interesting.

 

[Orac]

Spock: Fascinating.

 

[Athena28]

KIRK: Bones, have you had time to take any psychological readings of the androids?

 

[Orac]

McCoy: I did. And you can forget it. They're perfect, flawless, mentally and physically. No weaknesses, perfectly disciplined. No vices, no fears, no faults. Just a sense of purpose. Believe me, there's nothing tougher to overcome, even among humans.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Yes, that's what this crew needs, a little sense of purpose.

Later in the throne room, Mudd is joyfully shaking the hands of androids when Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, Uhura and Chekov enter.

Kirk: Mudd, I have a few questions for you.

 

[Orac]

Mudd: Afraid I won't have time to answer them. My bags are all packed. The androids will take the Enterprise out of orbit in less than twenty four hours. But it's been a real pleasure having you here, Kirk. Is there anything I can get for you?

 

[Viva Sativa]

KIRK: Yes. My ship.

 

[Orac]

Mudd: You're a stubborn fellow, aren't you? But I don't mind. I don't mind that at all. Because I'll be leaving here quickly enough, and then you can be stubborn at your own leisure. One last time. Stella, dear.

 

[Leandar]

(The Stella android begins to awaken and looks toward Harry)

Stella Mudd: mmmmmmmmm........Harcourt Fenton Mudd, where have you been?! What have you been up to?! Have you been drinking again, you miserable sot! You good-for-nothing.......!

 

[LeadHead]

Harry Mudd: Shut up!

 

[Orac]

Stella: Thing, thing, thing.

 

[LeadHead]

Mudd: Alice number 2, my little love. Will you have my bags transported to the ship?