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I Feel Stupid

When I was in high school, I thought I was the smartest kid in the universe. Then I went to college, and realized that there are millions of smart people, and I was just somewhat average.

I coasted through high school, but at the time I thought I was working hard. Then I coasted through undergrad, even though at the time I thought I was working hard.

In graduate school, I realized I'm really kind of stupid. So I worked harder, and learned to play the game, and eventually moved up the class rankings. It took me a while to get acclimated to the difficult subject matter, and being surrounded by brilliance didn't help.

What did help, was when I took a closer look at the brilliance and realized they were all working harder than me.
 
Wow, thanks for all the advice and stories! It feels good to know I'm not completely alone. I'm taking a break from studying and I tried to respond to as many people as possible but even if you're not quoted here, I am reading each and every post.

Then, know your strengths. I may not be the sharpest pencil in the drawer when it comes to quantum mechanics, but I swim in general relativity like a barracuda in a river. And even when my programming mojo fails me and I have to ask for help on that, I have people coming to me to translate a particularly idiomatic passage in English, or to read their report and help them to word it better and more clearly. So, find the parts of your job you do best, and latch onto them.

This totally made me smile. :) I think I probably take my strengths for granted and tend to focus on my weaknesses, but you've given me a good reminder, thanks.

Kestra, if you're anything like me and you're studying something quite different from what you studied or worked at before, you'll be in the process of changing the way you need to read and analyse your coursework.

I think a big part of it is just being out of school for so long. I went from running a business to being back in undergrad and it's been a total shift in the way I think. Now that classes are getting more challenging it's probably highlighting that difference even more. Thanks for the words of encouragement, and I hope things go well for you too!

I empathize, Kestra. In my case, though, it was the exact opposite. It was frustrating because I felt like there was nothing to challenge me

Heh, half of my classes have been like that so I know where you're coming from. I'm always polite but I think one of my profs actually picked up on my boredom and I still feel badly about that. Honestly I think I'd rather a class be too hard rather than too easy.

What subjects are you having difficulty with?

It's a History of Psychology type class so it's designed to be difficult. I think it's particularly difficult for me because it draws on knowledge from all my psych classes, some of which I took almost a decade ago! That's a good tip about lectures though; I'll look into it for help with reviewing.

But through it all I found someone I trusted and loved to talk to and share with. A burden shared is not as heavy as one carried alone.

So true! In my most desperate moments I tend to ask my husband, "It's not really the end of the world if I get a B, right? ... Right?" He always answers the question correctly. :lol:

I see it as kind of like dating: if you never get any rejections, you're not trying as hard as you should be. So if you never feel stupid, or realize what you don't know, you're not learning enough.

Does that make any sense?

Makes perfect sense. One of the reasons I've gone back to school is to challenge myself so I suppose I shouldn't complain too much!

Give yourself time, and BREATHE. :)

Great advice, thanks. I will remind myself of this while I'm struggling to understand my reading tonight! :)

And, if you still don't get it, don't be afraid to ask for help.

I lost the illusion that I was good at everything when I was in elementary school! The problem with asking for help is that the professor for this particular class is ... not so nice. He's incredibly intelligent but also a bit arrogant. Sometimes I daydream during lecture about the things I want to throw at him.

People devote too much time to material they find easy, and tending to ignore and put off the material they find difficult. Which is the opposite to my approach.

I've noticed a tendency to do this on occasion and I'm trying to break myself of the habit. It's just simple fear of tackling something challenging, and avoiding that uncomfortable feeling when I feel stupid. Thanks for your insights.

If you're anything like me, one day you'll just have an epiphany and everything will fall into place.

You know very well that we're nothing alike. :p

It's hard to try new things - particularly as you get older - I am sorry to say. I've been thinking about doing new things to keep my mind stretchy - Karate or guitar lessons I'm thinking. I expect to be awful at either but recognize the importance of trying new things and taking risks. Good luck; although I suspect your work ethic will make luck a very small part of it and you'll deserve all the success you earn. :techman:

You've got a great attitude and I'd do well to remember it. Thanks for the words of encouragement!

Somehow, I did survive those years and so will the OP.:techman:

I always like stories with a happy ending. :)

What did help, was when I took a closer look at the brilliance and realized they were all working harder than me.

So you're saying I should be studying instead of posting on the BBS? :(
 
You've already proved you're not stupid, by getting this far. You've studied before. You're not 95, and even if you were, with a shrunken cerebellum, it would still be possible to pass. People have done it at that age.

You don't come across as dumb.
 
This past weekend, I tracked down my old high school Latin teacher-- I had been looking for him for a while to give him copies of my books-- only to discover that he had died of cancer. This guy was a big inspiration and encouragement to me when I was a kid. He was absolutely brilliant. He spoke more than twenty languages, had an encyclopedic knowledge of ancient cultures, he read at least one book every day, had traveled all over the world and had total recall of everything he had ever been exposed to. I have a genius IQ and he made me look feeble-minded. I considered him a great role model. :mallory:
 
Well, I have always been the smart one in pretty much anything I got involved with. Then, I decided to pursue a PhD. Since then, I think I feel a bit more stupid every day. :p

However, in my experience, what matters the most is determination and (more importantly) motivation. So, if you really like what you are doing, then you are going to be fine eventually. That does not mean that there are not going to be ups and downs along the way. But as long as your determination and motivation are enough to make you stand the downs, then everything is OK.
 
I felt like that, Kestra, for a little while way back in Grad school. Up until the time the guy who seemed to know everything, be on top of things, etc., let slip that he too felt the same way. I then realized that the feeling was natural and in no way represented my actual knowledge.

Also, it is under your control to a degree. I once started a job where there was so much that I didn't know that I felt overwhelmed and thought there was no way I could succeed. The solution was fairly simple, I just told my self that no matter how long it would take, I would study up in off hours to learn everything that was necessary. I knew I could learn things so that put it in the realm of the possible. And the realization that it was doable and up to me actually took the pressure off. This realization took the uncertainty out of the outcome, which is a major source of stress. I did have to study a lot but it worked out great. More than a decade later, I'm still in the same general field.

I don't know if any of this helps but realize that it is natural to feel this way and that the solution is within your power.

Mr Awe
 
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I have a genius IQ.

What's a genius IQ?

Is it a matter of achieving some percentile in a normal IQ test, or is it something different?
Presumably some percentile in a normal IQ test. It was a test that was given to me back in the 70s. I don't really remember any details, except they told me I was a genius and I never let anyone forget it. :rommie:
 
I'm also energy-saving!

I'll bet you light up a room when you walk in.

------------------------------------------

Kestra, I felt the way you feel when I started graduate school, when I got my first job, when I got my first tenure-track job, and I still get that way once in a while. It's not an uncommon feeling. When I got that way, I just walked away from things for a while. Even a day.

I'm never the smartest in the room. I don't worry about it, because I never have been and know I never will be. Among faculty. Among my students. Doesn't matter. Someone is always a brighter bulb. But as long as know I stll belong in the room, so what?
 
I feel stupid continually. But that's just from dealing with working in retail, but, the up-shot for me is feeling a lot smarter than the customers that can't see further than three inches in front of them, even when the displays they're looking for, are right beside them.
 
So I've taken on a bit too much coursework this quarter and the classes are actually difficult. And I find myself reading the material and being overwhelmed by it and it brings back memories of my pre-med classes where I felt like an idiot all the time.

I know I'm not an idiot, but I also know that this feeling will just grow stronger as classes get more difficult.

Does anyone else feel like this in their profession or courses? How do you deal with it? Are you surrounded by brilliance? Or are you always the smartest in the room?

This is an interesting question. I love being the smartest in the room since for whatever reason I derive a lot of self worth from defeating people intellecually. God I dread the day I meet a smarter, younger, more attractive man.

But if you want to be brilliant you have to surround yourself with brilliance.

Maybe you could try switching your attitude around a little. Kind of like what iguana said above. Learn from your 'mistakes', surround yourself with geniuses and some of it might rub off onto you.
 
I'm surrounded by brilliance in my private life. My family, my friends, my husband ... There's no lack of intelligence there! I really thought I had gotten over feeling stupid but being in a different field has brought it all back.
 
I don't know which is worse in a classroom environment, feeling inadequate or (my case) realizing you could teach the class better than the instructor could.
 
I majored in English Lit and could write pretty much anything so I thought I was smart. Most of my teachers wanted us to read something and "dig for a deeper meaning" and crap like that so I made up some outrageous stuff and passed with flying colors.

I was the only person in the class who got an "A" on a paper about Moby Dick. I compared it to the Battle between God and satan. Basically God is the whale - pure, white, master of his domain the ocean (heaven). Captain Ahab was satan - used to be a decent guy but when he lost his leg (got thrown out of Heaven) to the whale (God) then he turned nuts and vowed revenge. The kid on the boat (I forgot his name) represented humanity and didn't know whether to root for God or satan. Well anyway the final battle in the book represented God dragging satan down into the depths of hell after satan tries to attack Him one more time.
 
I'm surrounded by brilliance in my private life. My family, my friends, my husband ... There's no lack of intelligence there! I really thought I had gotten over feeling stupid but being in a different field has brought it all back.

You need to learn some truths.

Lack of knowledge is not stupidity - nobody is born with the world in their heads, they have to learn it all. We all start from the same place.

Some people are born faster than you, some are better looking, some are smarter, and some will memorise facts faster and better than you do. That is no more a slight on your character than a cat's ginger fur is on it's character.

What matters is how much effort you put in and how hard you are prepared to work to achieve what you want.

The other people in your class are probably coasting, getting by on their brains alone. If you push yourself as hard as you can you will get on top of whatever it is you are studying and leave them choking on your metaphorical dust, unless you are studying driving or cowboy-ing in which case you will leave them choking on your literal dust.

What matters is not what you were born but rather what you have done with those gifts you were born with.

Next time you are feeling down in class think back to the day this complete stranger told you that feeling stupid is a silly thing to do and refocus your energies on doing the best you can this minute and letting the rest sort itself out.

This is Dr Nick wishing you good mental health
 
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