I Feel Stupid

[Kestra]

So I've taken on a bit too much coursework this quarter and the classes are actually difficult. And I find myself reading the material and being overwhelmed by it and it brings back memories of my pre-med classes where I felt like an idiot all the time.

I know I'm not an idiot, but I also know that this feeling will just grow stronger as classes get more difficult.

Does anyone else feel like this in their profession or courses? How do you deal with it? Are you surrounded by brilliance? Or are you always the smartest in the room?

 

[RoJoHen]

I had a really hard time in college because I do not learn by reading textbooks. I am quite smart, was always in the gifted classes in high school, and was usually the smartest person in the room. The difference was, in high school, my teachers actually stood up in front of the class and taught use things. In college, we were responsible for reading the text and basically teaching ourselves. My brain isn't wired to learn that way, so I always found myself incredibly overwhelmed, especially in the later years as classes got more difficult.

I can't even read novels for fun and retain the memory of what I read.

 

[iguana_tonante]

I know exactly how you feel, Kestra. In my field, I am almost always surrounded by stunningly brilliant people. Now, I know I'm pretty smart (actually, more than that), but sometimes I feel embarrassingly slow compared with some people in my department. Intellectually, I accept that, but sometimes the feeling can get pretty overwhelming.

How do cope with it? Well, first of all I had to develop an unshakable confidence in my abilities and worth. Even when I fail to understand or accomplish something, I never let it chip away at my confidence. I flunked? I'll do better next time. I fucked? I won't do it again. You have to find the source of your inner strength, and tap into it when needed.

Then, know your strengths. I may not be the sharpest pencil in the drawer when it comes to quantum mechanics, but I swim in general relativity like a barracuda in a river. And even when my programming mojo fails me and I have to ask for help on that, I have people coming to me to translate a particularly idiomatic passage in English, or to read their report and help them to word it better and more clearly. So, find the parts of your job you do best, and latch onto them.

Last (but not least), your job is not your life. Even if you feel you are lagging behind in your studies or tasks, that's not the end of the world, nor a threat to your worth as a human being. I know there is a tendency, especially in today's extremely competitive world, to equate a person's worth to their job (or their wealth). But you are who you are, not what you do. Even if you are experiencing difficulties in your job, there are other part of your life that usually make up for that: family, friends, spouses, activities.

I may not be the most brilliant cosmologist in town, but when I think about it: I have a lovely fiancée who loves me, lots of friends who enjoy my company, a family that stands by me, I am happy to pursue activities outside my job, and I am in general an awesome human being. I'm sure you could find the same in you.

Also, sometimes I find it useful to venture outside my ivory tower and talk with the mundanes, to remind myself that, even if I'm not the smartest guy in my field, I am still several orders of magnitude smarter than most people outside of it. That's a pretty big boost for my already super-sized ego.

 

[Cheapjack]

I was very clever when I was 15 and loved mixing with people cleverer than me.

Then, when I was 17, everytime I spoke, the whole class burst out laughing at my naivety. But, my physics teacher said I could get an A.

You only fail spectacularly when you are playing cards, or dominoes, a game. Academically, a pass is better than an F and you can get a pass, if you just learn a few rules an apply them.

Some things you may take decades to learn, and you don't have that. In that case, get out in two weeks, transfer, and put it off till you're 80.

 

[Deckerd]

I know I'm stupid. It saves a lot of hand-wringing. I revel in it.

 

[Mary Ann]

Kestra, if you're anything like me and you're studying something quite different from what you studied or worked at before, you'll be in the process of changing the way you need to read and analyse your coursework. I recently switched to studying law and I reckon I'm plodding along reasonably well because my course is family law and a lot of it relates to my old job at a children's centre. I spend a lot of my time online reading cases and for the first while my eyes would cross and my brain would shrivel because I'd never read legal documents before. With practice I've reached the point where I can usually extract the information I need, though if I'd been studying, say, business law, it would most likely have taken me longer to get into the rhythm of my new studies. Also, if you really are feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid of speaking to your profs or tutors. They can clarify any points that are confusing you. And remember, you're not stupid, just temporarily befuddled while you're getting used a new situation. You'll get there.

 

[Amaris]

I empathize, Kestra. In my case, though, it was the exact opposite. It was frustrating because I felt like there was nothing to challenge me. To be fair, it was an online university (University of Phoenix) and one's mileage may vary, but I consistently outperformed in every class. I was teamed up with class partners and I did the vast bulk of the work because it seemed as if no one else knew anything about what was going on. I do hope you get everything worked out. You're very intelligent, and you don't deserve being overburdened and overstressed.

 

[Jadzia]

It's all relative.

I remember when I first started at university, I was honestly expecting to be in the bottom half of the class, but close to the middle of the class.

In the first couple of months, there were some parts of the work which scared me because everyone seemed to be able to do them and I had no idea where to even begin. This reinforced my feelings about being in the bottom half of the class.

But when we had our first exams, I was shocked how well I did because I came second in the year of over 200. That really lifted my spirits, gave me confidence, and set a standard for me to work to in the future.

I became competitive, and I wanted to be first, because it seemed like such a short reach. I never managed to come first, but I did manage to stay in the top 5 consistently. (The person who always came first seemed to be on a different planet)

Considering what my expectations of myself were when I started, to what they became later, I would say that 'feeling stupid' is all relative to ones own expectations. Exams will help to refine your expectations and help you to find your place.

 

[think]

When I was small ,,LOL I was smart, sorta, now that I am big, I am not much smarter just more knowledge in me head. IQ is relative as a little kid I could not beat dad at chess then one day I beat him ,,he never played me again ,, I felt bad about the whole thing ,, but that is the way it is... these days my competition is limited to ,, me, yep I compete with myself, doing the dumb things like putting my keys in a different spot each time I put them down to test my memory. I am not competing with anyone just making my life more of what ever it is that is in life. I still play chess but be assured you will win If I want you to ., not any other way except maybe - luck LOL

 

[Zero Kelvin]

What subjects are you having difficulty with? I notice that there are a number of lecture courses available on iTunes nowadays, but I don't know if they would be appropriate for you. If you are having problems following the recommended texts, try looking for alternative texts that you feel more in tune with. Also it might be good to make a list of the specific areas with which you are having trouble, and approach your tutor or the course lecturers for advice. You need to be subtle and targetted in your approach so not as to appear a time waster who isn't capable of assimilating complex information.

 

[MetalPants]

So I've taken on a bit too much coursework this quarter and the classes are actually difficult. And I find myself reading the material and being overwhelmed by it and it brings back memories of my pre-med classes where I felt like an idiot all the time.

I know I'm not an idiot, but I also know that this feeling will just grow stronger as classes get more difficult.

Does anyone else feel like this in their profession or courses? How do you deal with it? Are you surrounded by brilliance? Or are you always the smartest in the room?

I have been in similar situations. In academia, at times I would struggle with the concepts being presented. I would ask my classmates for their help and muddle through. Other times I would reach the halfway mark and then suddenly everything would click into place. Other times, and this is the hardest, I have to admit that I was in the wrong place, retreat and regroup, and find a new path.
But through it all I found someone I trusted and loved to talk to and share with. A burden shared is not as heavy as one carried alone.

 

[Shatnertage]

Don't fell bad; I feel stupid all the time. Mostly it's because I try to learn outside my "home" discipline and have to digest all sorts of new terminology. Then I ask a student what they're working on, and they show me their O-Chem homework, and I really feel dumb. It's humbling, at the very least.

I see it as kind of like dating: if you never get any rejections, you're not trying as hard as you should be. So if you never feel stupid, or realize what you don't know, you're not learning enough.

Does that make any sense?

 

[Misfit Toy]

Sweet Kestra, don't beat yourself up. I can empathize with your situation. I recently transferred jobs in the same organization, and I found myself surrounded by people who knew what they were doing, while I felt like I was foundering. Intellectually, I could understand that they had been doing the job for *years* while I had been doing it for days, but it was still an uncomfortable feeling. Give yourself time, and BREATHE.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

I had one class in undergrad where I needed to take a lab science. I'm not really a science guy, so I took a class I thought would be a joke class just to get through. The professor didn't agree with my idea of what the class should be about and made it quite difficult. I eventually got through it with a respectable grade, but it was my worst grade that semester. I think, in the end, that was a good thing. I don't think I could do well in law school if I came in thinking I'd be great at everything.

How do you get through things like this? My first suggestion is not to worry too much. Focus on what you know you need to do. Don't worry about the consequences if you don't do it. The biggest thing that helps is time to just study. I know you said you have a bit much on your plate, so it makes it more difficult, but time management is the best thing in this situation. And, if you still don't get it, don't be afraid to ask for help.

 

[Cheapjack]

I did an IT degree four years ago, dropped onto the diploma course. It was terrifying at the time, cos I only still have a '98 PC at home. You need the latest computer if you are doing IT. Also you have to take a risk and specialise, cos the field is so big you can't generalise.

I'm going to do a physics degree and go into research.

I was right at the bottom in maths at 12. Then, got 87% at age 16. Got laughed at in politics at age 17. Now, I reckon the book I bought for it, states obviousities. A bit late, now though.

I've had about twelve rejections for twist in the tale SF stories. Can't do them at all, and the more I tried, the more it p****d me off. Might be able to think of one when I am 80.

I would say, Kestra, that you probably know in your heart of hearts whether putting in a lot of reading up and asking for help will do it, or whether you should transfer, or just get a pass.

 

[Jadzia]

Expanding on what I wrote above, I'm good at managing my time and I don't really feel stress, which I think helped me. But also I noticed there was a fundamental difference between how I learned and how most others in my class learned:

[brief digression]
After our first exams, I became quite popular in my year group, and one of the consequences of being popular was that people would ask me for help. I am good at explaining things to people and helping them to understand, and I'm generally happy to do so, but I felt like it was happening too often and sapping too much of my time as I wasn't getting enough back from them. So I had to start cutting people out, which didn't feel nice.

But what I gained from doing that helping was clearly seeing the difference between my approach to learning and the approach of most of my classmates.
[/brief digression]


1. Stress is a killer for most. It causes people to drop down to a lower gear, and become poorly productive. It leads to inefficient/disorganized/half-hearted and clumsy learning.

2. People devote too much time to material they find easy, and tending to ignore and put off the material they find difficult. Which is the opposite to my approach.

3. Most people seemed to want me to teach them methods and procedures, and 'standard answers' for questions. This is not how I learn, and I think methods are an inferior way of learning anything. I learn through gaining insight, and building my knowledge and skills through associations. I gain a general sense of how ideas relate to one another, and tend to work by improvising solutions with creative thinking, allowing one idea to trigger related ideas. So my cognitive structures are web-like, rather than snake-like.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Sweet Kestra, don't beat yourself up. I can empathize with your situation. I recently transferred jobs in the same organization, and I found myself surrounded by people who knew what they were doing, while I felt like I was foundering. Intellectually, I could understand that they had been doing the job for *years* while I had been doing it for days, but it was still an uncomfortable feeling. Give yourself time, and BREATHE.

I had the same problem when I started my current job. I worked for 7 years at a company that made debt collection software (yeah, yeah, string me up...) and now I work for a company that makes healthcare-related software. I knew absolutely nothing about this industry other than some stuff about HIPAA (from my last job.) I came in and started training and was just completely overwhelmed by the amount and complexity of the information being presented. I thought I'd never get the hang of this industry.

Well, it's been almost two years and I actually have quite a good grasp of things now, enough that I can speak up and say, "Wait a minute, that doesn't sound right!" when someone suggests something off-base. I'd say I really started to understand everything about a year into it. One day everything just "clicked" and I realized how all the various pieces-parts fit together.

Some of the people I work with are really brilliant and I marvel at the depth and breadth of their knowledge. I don't know if I will ever be able to compete with them in terms of what they know. There are some areas I understand very deeply but quite a few where I've barely scratched the surface. Some of these people understand the business end-to-end and I don't know if I will ever accomplish that. Granted, they've been in this business 20+ years and I haven't even been in it for 2... I guess time will tell.

Hang in there, Kestra! You're smart and I'm sure everything will "click" for you. If you're anything like me, one day you'll just have an epiphany and everything will fall into place. The bad part of that is not knowing exactly when it will happen.

 

[Cheapjack]

You can't be all that dumb, if you're studying 'med'.

 

[KimMH]

It's hard to try new things - particularly as you get older - I am sorry to say. I've been thinking about doing new things to keep my mind stretchy - Karate or guitar lessons I'm thinking. I expect to be awful at either but recognize the importance of trying new things and taking risks. Good luck; although I suspect your work ethic will make luck a very small part of it and you'll deserve all the success you earn.

 

[Sector 7]

I had a really hard time in college because I do not learn by reading textbooks. I am quite smart, was always in the gifted classes in high school, and was usually the smartest person in the room. The difference was, in high school, my teachers actually stood up in front of the class and taught use things. In college, we were responsible for reading the text and basically teaching ourselves. My brain isn't wired to learn that way, so I always found myself incredibly overwhelmed, especially in the later years as classes got more difficult.

Back home I was an honor student, attended scholarship competitions for my school in English, Chemistry and Spanish and won literary competitions. My school did not have gifted nor advanced placement classes.

Just before the start of my senior year of high school, we moved to another state. Because of my grades, the school enrolled me in AP classes. As with you, teachers did not teach... the students taught themselves. Especially in chemistry, I needed a teacher to teach and found myself lost and very much alone. Whenever I asked a question about the lesson, I was told to "look up the answer for myself" or "the answer is in there, you just have to find it". I went from Award for Highest Honor in Chemistry to class dunce. My chemistry 'teacher' understood my predicament and passed me "because of your past accomplishments and personal character" (30+ years later I still remember those words).

Somehow, I did survive those years and so will the OP.