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I am bored-so let us make fun of Nemesis again

:guffaw: :guffaw: :guffaw:

"Captain, dead ahead there's a nebula which will cut off all our communications with the awaiting fleet."

"Hmmm. Nebula, cutting off all communications, sounds like a good place for an ambush! Helm, pitch us up by 3 degrees, the nebula is still half a light year out so that should be enough for us to go over it. Or, hell yaw us to port or starboard by three degrees or do ANYTHING to cause us to avoid being in that nebula!"

"Sir, are you mad?! Where do you think we are?! In space or something?!"
 
Therin of Andor said:
^ Because all the bad Romulans got turned to dust in the prologue?
Click to expand...

But... but... but... it was the bad Romulans (the ones working with Shinzon) who turned them to dust!

Put the Kool Aid down! (Flavor Aid, actually.)
 
Geordi: "Worf, I thought you were an Ambassodor...?"

Worf: "I was, but then I realized that my true calling was to become a comic relief officer again."
 
"Jean-Luc who is this a picture of?"
"That's me in the academy."
"Pretty mediocre photographic paper, they cut off your hair."
"Let me see that photo... Oh my god! You're right!"
"Captain, did you run into anyone else while you where on Romulous?"
"... No."
"Huh. Well it couldn't be that then. Maybe it's just a bad picture."
"Must be. Because I certainly wasn't bald back then."
 
What Buddy said to Mel on "The Dick Van Dyke Show," he could have as easily said to Shinzon:

"Your hair didn't fall out. It fell in. And clogged your brain."
 
Data: The B-4 is physically identical to me, although his neural pathways are not as advanced. But even if they were, he would not be me.
Picard: How can you be sure?
Data: He doesnt have it where it counts. If you know what I mean.
----------------------------------------

Data: I must deactivate you.
B-4: For how long?
Data: Indefinitely.
B-4: How long is tha...
Data: A long time brother...or untill the sequel.
----------------------------------------

Janeway: Jean-Luc, how would you like a trip to Romulus?
Picard: And how would you like to suck my cock?
 
Outside the Nebula, fleet captain's ship:

Helm: "Uh, sir, we've been here quite a bit, haven't we?"

Captain: "And?"

Helm: "Well, sir, we were here to trap a deadly ship, that entered the nebula in front of us in pursuit of the Enterprise."

Captain: "Indeed, that's what we're doing."

Helm: "But it's been too long."

Captain: "What are you saying?"

Helm: "Seeing as we can't detect the Enterprise or anything else, they must still be in the nebula; which is disrupting our sensors, and it probably means the Enterprise is fighting for their lives."

Captain: "So?"

Helm :wtf:: "Shouldn't we go in!?"

Captain: "No, we will wait until they come out, and trap them, as ordered."

Helm: "As ordered???"

Captain: "Yes, as ordered."

Helm: "Kirk violated orders not to get to Earth when the whale probe attacked, saved the Earth and was given a commendation for it. Picard violated orders and went to Earth to defend it from the Borg, and got a special commendation and several medals of courage for it, along with the rest of his crew. Picard violated orders and took a stand against a decision to exploit a people on a planet, and was given another commendation for it. Lieutenant Commander, also on the Enterprise, violated the orders to relocate during a tachyon blockade of the Romulan/Klingon border and detected a Romulan ship, thus making the blockade a success and got a special commendation for it."

Captain: "Yes, but I'm better than they are, I will follow orders."

Helm: :wtf:
 
3D Master said:
Outside the Nebula, fleet captain's ship:

Helm: "Uh, sir, we've been here quite a bit, haven't we?"

Captain: "And?"

Helm: "Well, sir, we were here to trap a deadly ship, that entered the nebula in front of us in pursuit of the Enterprise."

Captain: "Indeed, that's what we're doing."

Helm: "But it's been too long."

Captain: "What are you saying?"

Helm: "Seeing as we can't detect the Enterprise or anything else, they must still be in the nebula; which is disrupting our sensors, and it probably means the Enterprise is fighting for their lives."

Captain: "So?"

Helm :wtf:: "Shouldn't we go in!?"

Captain: "No, we will wait until they come out, and trap them, as ordered."

Helm: "As ordered???"

Captain: "Yes, as ordered."

Helm: "Kirk violated orders not to get to Earth when the whale probe attacked, saved the Earth and was given a commendation for it. Picard violated orders and went to Earth to defend it from the Borg, and got a special commendation and several medals of courage for it, along with the rest of his crew. Picard violated orders and took a stand against a decision to exploit a people on a planet, and was given another commendation for it. Lieutenant Commander, also on the Enterprise, violated the orders to relocate during a tachyon blockade of the Romulan/Klingon border and detected a Romulan ship, thus making the blockade a success and got a special commendation for it."

Captain: "Yes, but I'm better than they are, I will follow orders."



Helm: :wtf:
Click to expand...



OMG! what have I unleashed?

Such creativity.
 
Beverly: Wesley! Oh my god! You're here, my son has returned from exploring the edge of infinity as a being of pure energy! The things you must have seen, the knowledge you can bring to the world! I can't believe - ooh, cake!
Wesley: ...

Shinzon: O! I am slain!
Picard: What? I barely touched you.
Shinzon: No, slain.
Picard: Oh, come on! I poked you in the ribs with a blunt piece of scenery. That's an "ow" at best.
Shinzon: Look, do you want to end this or not?
Picard: Oh, very well. But at least put some effort into it.
Shinzon: Okay... [grunt] For hate's sake, I impale my last chest at thee! [dies]
Picard: ...
[Minutes pass. Eventually, Data enters]
Picard: ...
Data: Sir, the weapon is about to fire.
Picard: ...
Data: Why did you not stop it? It would only have required you to move half a metre and push a button.
Picard: ...
Data: Sir?
Picard: ...
Data: Captain, he was just a clone. He did not even look anything like you. In my opinion, the Romulans simply told him he was your clone to, as the saying goes, 'mess with your head'.
Picard: ...
Data: In that case, sir, I will use this personal transporter so that you can escape. It operates on the ancient principle of 'picking yourself up by the hair'.
Picard: Buh? [fffzzzorb]
Data: Now, to deactivate the weapon and escape myself. I should have plenty of time, assuming the captain's inexplicable mental retardation did not delay me unduly - oh, shit.
[BKOOOOOM!]
 
Picard: He wants to look me in the eye.....

Lt. Commander Data: Well, jeez, he could have just asked.... He didn't have to go and blow a god damned hole through the front of the bridge. Hey, Shinzoid, next time, try the viewscreen first. SHEESH

------------------------------------------------------------
Picard: Deanna, take the helm.
Bridge Crew: :wtf:
------------------------------------------------------------

Picard: This has nothing to do with my ship!

Shinzon: Oh, but it does! We will no longer bow before anyone as slaves. Not the Romulans and not your mighty Federation. We are a race bred for war... and conquest.

Picard: Again, I point out, this has NOTHING to do with the Enterprise!

Shinzon:...... Does too!

Picard: Does not!

Shinzon: Does too!

Picard: Does not!

Shinzon: *thinking* Rabbit season!

Picard: Duck Season!

Shinzon: Rabbit Season!

Picard: Duck Season!

------------------------------------------------------------

Worf: [quite drunk] Romulan ale should be illegal.

La Forge: It is.

Guinan: Actually Geordi, It isn't. The embargo on Romulan Ale was lifted when the Romulans became our allies during and following the end of the Dominion War.

*Laforge and Worf Look at one another in shock*

Laforge: Guinan, we don't talk about such things.....

Guinan: What are you talking about Geordi?

Laforge: Romulan Ale being illegal....... Worf being here at the wedding and on the Enterprise when he should be a Klingon ambassador.... Wesley's appearance here when he should be galavanting around the universe on another plane of existence.... The Romulans being viciously evil when we just fought a war with them and became allies.... We don't bring up those sort of things...

Guinan: Why?

Worf: Keep quiet Guinan! Or do you want to end up like Pulaski? She couldn't keep her observations to herself either.

*Picard approaches the table*: Is someone trying to point out an obvious factual error or omission?

Laforge:*nervously* No sir!
Worf: *nervously* No sir!
Guinan *chugging her romulan ale* No sir!

Picard: Good. *waves off security officers*
 
Worf "Damn how can we attack when the ship is cloaked"

Diana "I can find the ship"

Worf "Oh...this is new..since when have you had that ability "

Diana " All betazoids get a free telepathic pinpoint upgrade(TPU) when they get married, that way we know exactly were our spouse/friends/mind rapists are at all times, Just think Will, I'll be able to sense where you are at all times.......Forever"

Riker "....Obsessed Much!!!!"
 
I don't mean to sound ignorant....but where the heck was Wesley in all this? I did see this movie more than once, but...can't remember having seen him at all.
 
He's at the wedding, at the far end of the table. He had a few lines of dialogue, but they were cut from the final version of the film, so Wheaton's appearance literally is "blink-and-you'll-miss-it."
 
Just a little bit of Trivia.....

All the holes you see the alien digging and protecting at the beginning of Star Trek The Final Frontier, were turned upside down and used in the writing of the Nemesis script....Nice little bit of canon there.
 
Trekker4747 said:
"Captain? See this little device? This is a personal transporter. Even though transporters are emmense, complicated, machines that need tons and tons of energy to operate and our understanding and application of transport technology has only changed scantly in the last 200 years, I can now carry one in my pocket. Hell! It even transports itself! Somehow!"
Click to expand...


...and yet I only thought to bring one. :bolian:
 
Picard: "So...this weapon. How does it kill people again?"

Crusher: "It destroys organic matter at the sub-atomic level."

Picard: "At the sub-atomic level all matter is basically the same, though."

Crusher: "Look, it just sounds good, OK? The point is, it takes only a microscopic amount to kill the whole ship!"

Picard: "How exactly does one measure a 'microscopic' amount of radiation?"

Crusher: "...The point is...big weapon...bad stuff happens."

Geordi: "Like putting too much air into a balloon!"

Picard: "Ok then."
 
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