How to make friends?

[T'Bonz]

You know, folks, I think we all could have handled this situation better with this guy.
Did he really do very much wrong? Seems a bit of a shame he ended up deleting his account.

Vert, my dear, you've a kind heart but it was obvious to me from the get-go that this was a troll fucking with me. Usually, I'm pretty patient about booting folks, to the dismay of some of my mods.

 

[Verteron]

Vert, my dear, you've a kind heart but it was obvious to me from the get-go that this was a troll fucking with me. Usually, I'm pretty patient about booting folks, to the dismay of some of my mods.

Meh. Maybe so.

 

[Spot261]

To be fair, she's not booted me yet

 

[rhubarbodendron]

I dunno about C.a.'s other activities but you have to admit that this thread has (or rather originally had) an interesting topic: how does one make friends
It'd be a shame to let such a good topic go to waste. Shouldn't we continue?

It seems to me that the younger generation does have certain difficulties with friendships. Just take a look around: everone is just staring at their stupid cell phone and wearing ear plugs, isolating themselves from others, not even making eye contact. Nobody smiles at each other, nobody starts a chat with his/her neighbour in the doc's anteroom or on the train or bus.
This may be ok for a short time, but in the long run humans need personal contacts. And when these cell-zombies come to the point where they crave for a friend who is bodily there, they find that they have none and don't know how to find one.
With old people it's similar, though for different reasons: most of them get parked in a "home" that is actually just a storage space for the elderly. It keeps them conveniently out of the way, out of sight and out of mind. Lacking social interaction, their mental abilities rapidly deteriorate. Not only does this cost the tax payer a fortune, it is also a waste of experience and knowledge from which everyone could profit.
The prob is just, how do we get these two groups together?

 

[Herbert]

I've always had trouble making friends. I was a very shy kid growing up and subjected to bullying. I think as a defense mechanism I probably retreated into myself. Although, I am not nearly as shy now as I was back then, I'm certainly no extrovert when I'm around strangers or people I don't know well. On the other hand, I'm more comfortable with myself now than at any other point in my life. I don't have many friends and I'm fine with that. Those friends I do have are long lasting and close. I also recognize that I'm happiest when I have human interaction on my own terms. That may sound selfish and maybe it is but I'm just being true to myself. I can't be true to anyone else but me.

 

[Doom Shepherd]

How to make friends?
1. Seek out people who share your interests.
2. Talk to them.
3. Try not to be too much of an asshole. (Your friends will quickly let you know what level they will tolerate.)

I mostly don't have the energy for more than 4 or 5 friends.. Other people are exhausting even when I like them. Those few I have I would drop everything for and drive cross-country if they called and needed my help. Fortunately that doesn't happen often.

 

[1001001]

Bah!

We were so bummed when our next door neighbors moved out after 14 years of driveway waves hello.

We didn't even know their names.

They were perfect.

 

[Australis]

I'd like hugs. I'd like intimacy. But I don't know if I have the mental facility for it any more. It's sad.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

Bah!
We were so bummed when our next door neighbors moved out after 14 years of driveway waves hello.
We didn't even know their names.
They were perfect.

LOL you are German, I presume?

Herbert, you sound a lot like me

 

[MacLeod]

I've always had trouble making friends. I was a very shy kid growing up and subjected to bullying. I think as a defense mechanism I probably retreated into myself. Although, I am not nearly as shy now as I was back then, I'm certainly no extrovert when I'm around strangers or people I don't know well. On the other hand, I'm more comfortable with myself now than at any other point in my life. I don't have many friends and I'm fine with that. Those friends I do have are long lasting and close. I also recognize that I'm happiest when I have human interaction on my own terms. That may sound selfish and maybe it is but I'm just being true to myself. I can't be true to anyone else but me.

I can relate to this, but we seem to live in a world that favours extraversim..

 

[urbandefault]

If I wanted a friend I'd get a dog.

 

[Herbert]

I can relate to this, but we seem to live in a world that favours extraversim..

I think the world has always favored that. You always hear about how you have to sell yourself in order to get ahead. There are other ways to do it though. I'm long since beyond worrying about what the world expects from me. Besides, I think there are more introverts than extroverts in the world.

 

[MacLeod]

I think the world has always favored that. You always hear about how you have to sell yourself in order to get ahead. There are other ways to do it though. I'm long since beyond worrying about what the world expects from me. Besides, I think there are more introverts than extroverts in the world.

The loud ones take the credit whilst the quite ones just get on with things.

 

[Lord Garth]

Most of my friends are either from college or from doing independent films locally. Also friends of friends who became friends of my own. Then friends I met on Facebook where we became friends in real life. It all came down to common interests, common goals, and common beliefs.

I've never really become friends with anyone I knew at work, even though we'd be on friendly terms, and I didn't have that many friends in high school. Of the ones who were my friends, we drifted apart over 20 years ago.

Through regular get-togethers and a better developed Internet community, I never lost touch with friends from college. I didn't have either of those in high school. When I went online towards the end of high school, I wasn't keeping touch with anyone I knew on there. The difference between the Internet now and back then is like night and day.

The Internet in 1996 or 1997 wasn't of much use to me beyond things like seeing Kirk vs. Picard Debates, finding out what the Enterprise-E looks like (!!!), finding out Voyager was finally leaving the Kazon behind, and reading Tim Lynch reviews. And posting for the first time on Psi Phi, where I used to post before TrekBBS. I've been posting as Lord Garth since high school.

 

[MANT!]

"Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer."
Alphonse Gabriel Capone

 

[ThankQ]

Alcohol

Preferably gin and grapefruit with a salted rim.

 

[Riker'sMailbox]

I am an extrovert and have always had friends. As kids, you make friends with the kids in your neighborhood and class. In high school, it was all parties and beer. College it was frat parties and beer. While my friendships were fun, they were about as solid as the piss water beer we drank.

But, my truest friendships were those made as an adult. Those were based on shared interests, crazy nights out where you bonded over the mundane and the ridiculous. When you are there for marriages and divorces and affairs and loss.

It all starts with the word 'hi'. As someone that could talk to anyone, I tend to take the initiative, particularly when faced with someone that is an introvert or has struggled with friendships in the past.

 

[Guy Gardener]

7 Pillows, a stapler and a bucket of Ax body spray.

 

[1001001]

Preferably gin and grapefruit with a salted rim.

 

[Qonundrum]

I'd like hugs. I'd like intimacy. But I don't know if I have the mental facility for it any more. It's sad.

I often feel the same way. The underlying reasons might be different, but I would not wish what happened to me onto anyone else. Not because it'll happen to a number anyway.