How to make friends?

[PureCrimson]

You probably can get away with having your cat at the park. I don’t know how leash laws work in your hometown but I know some towns require that they be on a leash. So that is a possibility
When I was in highschool and I had to walk to my bus stop, all my cats would follow me so everybody laughed and made fun of me. I had to walk them back home I actually made a few friends that way.

I have cats follow me all the time too. I've befriended a lot of my neighbors because of their cats, even people who don't live by me.
But I always stop whenever I'm out (but not driving) every time I see a cat, to see if I can get them to come up to me. Eventually I wind up making a lot of friends, feline or otherwise.

This is generally what they do:

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And yes, this is actually my video. I took it one summer day of one of the cats that led to a friendship between my neighbors.

 

[Haido]

That is one awfully friendly kit kit. Yeah, I’ve been made the cat lady. Not by choice though. My grandmother always brings home strays or litters and she says we have new brother or sisters to take care of. And being Asian, my family really hold our animals and plants on a pedestal. They are so important.
There is actually an animal exposition that went on here not long ago. I bet t hat would’ve landed me a ton of acquaintances eh? Friends with animal or with people lol

 

[PureCrimson]

That's ironic you'd say that, since Milo is actually very untrusting around those he doesn't know. He flat out ducks for cover. He's a very paranoid cat. He's only super friendly around those he knows and trusts.

He never came up to me until the daughter (who was 13 at the time) dragged him over and he got to know me. Since then, he's been a pretty close friend that I regularly stop by to see.
I feel, similar to even me, he was lonely and looking for someone to give him the appropriate attention. I can tell from his behavior that he's gotten a lot more friendly around new people (but still careful) and is a lot more confident than he used to me.

It's scary how much of myself I see in him.

Did you not GO on that expedition? Is that why you missed out? And nah, don't look for 'acquaintances', look for friends.

 

[Haido]

For real? He seemed pretty friendly in that video. Kinda like my kit kit Spotty. She slobbers when she is excited and does what he does in the video lol and I didn’t go because I had work and I wasn’t sure how crowded it would be.
Well, yeah but that alone would be difficult. I mean, first have to be acquaintance and then friend right?

 

[PureCrimson]

He only does that around me though. This video is after years of hanging out sporadically. And he always gets way more excited when there's food. He loves two things most of all: Food and getting a pat on the head/

And I don't think so. You can make a friend with someone right away if you really click with someone. You don't have to go through proper channels or procedure with anyone. Just let connections happen naturally. There are no set rules or guidelines and everyone is different.
If you gel with someone, go with it. And feel happy you got so lucky. It doesn't happen often.

 

[Haido]

Maybe he is only like that with you because you bring him food my cats are fat b-tards. All they do is eat, eat and eat lol they only are nice when food isn’t around.
Well, that should be the thing. I am horrible at face to face conversations and it is a little tough to click with people. For one, I am bilingual and have a slight accent. I just not a talker lol but I can listen. How do you suggest with that?

 

[PureCrimson]

Nah. He runs up like that whenever. But he only stays longer and leaps up like that with food.

I think the only reason you find it hard to click with someone is because you've never found anyone in real life TO click with. It doesn't matter if you talk much, so long as you add something to a group you feel you have a lot in common with.

Anyone who cares about an accent isn't worth talking to, 1 and for 2, I say you're better off finding a person or group you share a similar passion about something with. There's a common misconception that is "You have to be extroverted and always talking to be a real friend!" And that's just simply not true. If they like being around you, they won't care about accents or if you don't talk much. And nothing wrong with being just a listener either. Lots of people appreciate that.

Think about Milo too. Introverts are the same way. They act way more open around those close to them. I feel you'd be the same way, given by how much you DO type online. So that also confirms to me you've yet to actually experience it in person.

 

[Marynator]

Milo appears so similar to my cat Lucy, both in looks and temperament! She is a tabby with the hint of orange,and is very vocal and friendly like that, especially when she wants food. I give her treats in the evening, but if I'm trying to do something first she will get caught around my ankles and won't stop meowing until I give it to her.

How many cats do you have Haido? Any interesting stories about any of them?

Libraries often have programs or classes for adults, that are even free to participate in. I have looked at my local library from time to time, but didn't see anything that particularly struck me, but I keep checking! If you look at your library, they might have something you are interested in, and there would be like-minded people there. It's a way to meet people at a library without cold approaches.

For me, the problem has never been meeting people, or even getting to a friendly stage, or even to "I'd like to see you again!". I have great difficulty in actually arranging get-togethers! It could be an age thing as well (I am 35): people are really set in their ways and have things they are doing, and just don't have time to really introduce a new person into their personal lives. It was a problem even when I was younger. In high school I had good friends at school, but rarely did anything after hours. I just don't know.

 

[1001001]

I made a bunch of close friends in college. I have fraternity brothers I still communicate with and get together with when we can. I'd say there's 6-7 people I've been friends with for 30+ years.

I would also say that since college, I have met many nice people, and made some work-friends and some on-line friends ( I guess those are separate categories). But I can honestly say I've made exactly two "real" friends since college (which was a long time ago).

One I met online in a community of Rush fans about 11 years ago. We met up at a concert, hit it off, and now we got to concerts together whenever we can, visit each other, etc.

The other I met at a Star Trek convention, believe it or not.

So I think yes, the best way to make friends is to do the activity first, and meet like-minded people as a result. I think it's hard to look for friends directly. Go to the activity, and the people will be there.

 

[Haido]

Milo appears so similar to my cat Lucy, both in looks and temperament! She is a tabby with the hint of orange,and is very vocal and friendly like that, especially when she wants food. I give her treats in the evening, but if I'm trying to do something first she will get caught around my ankles and won't stop meowing until I give it to her.

How many cats do you have Haido? Any interesting stories about any of them?

Libraries often have programs or classes for adults, that are even free to participate in. I have looked at my local library from time to time, but didn't see anything that particularly struck me, but I keep checking! If you look at your library, they might have something you are interested in, and there would be like-minded people there. It's a way to meet people at a library without cold approaches.

For me, the problem has never been meeting people, or even getting to a friendly stage, or even to "I'd like to see you again!". I have great difficulty in actually arranging get-togethers! It could be an age thing as well (I am 35): people are really set in their ways and have things they are doing, and just don't have time to really introduce a new person into their personal lives. It was a problem even when I was younger. In high school I had good friends at school, but rarely did anything after hours. I just don't know.

We had at some point about 25 cats. Do not be alarmed, they loved being outside on the pool patio and my parents have a big house and a very large backyard. The sliding doors were open a lot so they could come in the house thru the kitchen whenever they wanted and chill inside. My parents also have hens and grow their own produce. Just about everything you could think of. The cats are all spoiled, plump and happy. Not really interesting stories about them besides that they truly believe they are the babies of the House. On top of lizards and iguanas chilling on the coconut trees, I’d say we pretty much have a mini animal sanctuary. My friends loved it whenever they came over. Although there is one cat named Kenichi. She is the spawn of Satan himself. She shows no mercy whatsoever. And she is so very tiny. She is really old now but she will still attack anybody in the house unprovoked and then sleep all over your bed and slobber on you. Kaoru likes to knead your back when you are sleeping or laying down. I think our cats were not that friendly unless you came inside the house. Then they were all over you. I guess because they assume you are family in the house but strangers outside.
Yeah I am old and I just don’t find the energy in meeting up. I actually just blew somebody off for a wine tasting thing and her bday. I just don’t have the energy and I am a lightweight. She is way older than me but i’d rather not deal lol I can hang but only if I pertains to the things I’d enjoy like being educated if that makes sense. A lot of libraries do stuff like there here too but again it is for senior citizens and I am not that old however I do open up more to them. Wiser more educated maybe I click better??

 

[Marynator]

That sounds like a lovely home, with a lot of life! In addition to my cat (whom I have had for 9 years!) I have a fancy goldfish named Lord Tywin that has been with me for about 4 months. He seems to think he owns me, and I have such a hard time resisting giving him treats. He goes completely nuts in his aquarium whenever he sees me. He's my little man now!

I feel like I'm also at the point where I am giving up going to things and hoping to meet people. I don't think that virtual relationships lack in social fulfillment.

 

[Haido]

That sounds like a lovely home, with a lot of life! In addition to my cat (whom I have had for 9 years!) I have a fancy goldfish named Lord Tywin that has been with me for about 4 months. He seems to think he owns me, and I have such a hard time resisting giving him treats. He goes completely nuts in his aquarium whenever he sees me. He's my little man now!

I feel like I'm also at the point where I am giving up going to things and hoping to meet people. I don't think that virtual relationships lack in social fulfillment.

Ahaha we had a ton of catfish too. Such a name for a goldfish. Is so funny lol also there are craft classes in Michael’s and such. That’d be a way to do it too huh I think places like where I live at right now lack cultural diversity and just lack a lot. I should go back to Florida and probably better off meeting more there than up here. Here is soo dry like toast. People lack ambition which makes it hard to make “friends”.

 

[PureCrimson]

Libraries often have programs or classes for adults, that are even free to participate in. I have looked at my local library from time to time, but didn't see anything that particularly struck me, but I keep checking! If you look at your library, they might have something you are interested in, and there would be like-minded people there. It's a way to meet people at a library without cold approaches.

For me, the problem has never been meeting people, or even getting to a friendly stage, or even to "I'd like to see you again!". I have great difficulty in actually arranging get-togethers! It could be an age thing as well (I am 35): people are really set in their ways and have things they are doing, and just don't have time to really introduce a new person into their personal lives. It was a problem even when I was younger. In high school I had good friends at school, but rarely did anything after hours. I just don't know.

I've never heard of such things. I don't think they're out here; and I wouldn't know what kind of anything sort of courses they offer. Not opposed to trying, but I've never been privy to these things.

I don't believe things like age actually hamper forming relationships with people. Maybe willingness of people go down with age, but I think that's more determination, or lack thereof, on their part than anything else.

Your stories about high school sound like my own, where merely hanging out wasn't just a natural byproduct, but always a 'plan to do', where it couldn't happen otherwise.
I'm so jealous of people who had friends who could just randomly hang out whenever without planning; they didn't need to up and force it to happen.

In my mind, these experiences didn't translate to the most compatible friendships.