GIRLS Season 5

[Guy Gardener]

Psycho thinks that his spiritual love for Marnie is way more important than her vagina.

There's no way he's lying.

He's not that smart, and I doubt he's a good enough actor to pull off such an involved deception.

Although, Marnie is as thick as two planks.

I do think they deserve each other, as punishment for being them selves, but I do not want these idiots to reproduce, even though they are fictional idiots.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

He may not be out and out lying but I do think he is spinning. He had some blah blah conversation with someone who said someone said someone might want his song or.. it doesn't matter. He's spinning a hope to get Marnie to have to actually hang out with him. It's the perfect and only lure, though I suppose Marnie is so stupid there could be other lures but this one is actually pretty good.

I am going to predict that this season of Girls will end in.. a SIEGE. One of the super unbalanced characters (okay, that is most of them) will lose it, maybe in Ray's coffee shop, and take some hostages and there will be a gun and screaming and a wall of black dressed cops and whoever it is we're supposed to care about by the end of the season will be really, really scared.

It will be the opposite of last season's finale which was Hannah and Fran in a Hallmark commercial.

 

[Guy Gardener]

A remake of Dog day after noon?

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[Guy Gardener]

I often think "I'm a nice guy, doing generous and altruistic things for the people around me, surely karma owes me a serendipitous blowjob now and then, maybe?"

Crickets.

So many crickets.



RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

"Boysenberrieeeeeeees... on my bush.."

 

[Guy Gardener]

The guy picking up Hannah on the side of the road, is one of Shonda Rhimes monkeys from Scandal... Which makes me think that we could still be on course for crossing over with Grey's Anatomy.

By the way, Lisa Bonet hasn't got any older since the 80s?

Super weird.

 

[Guy Gardener]

I was thinking on my walk, to get lunch earlier today.

I assumed Hannah took Ray into her gutter mouth, out of boredom and gratitude, 'cause she is so broken that Hannah thinks sex is more important than friendship.

Here's theory 2.

"I'm going to felate a few of Marnie's exboyfriends" Thought Hannah "and show her how it feels to have the shoe on the other foot."

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I am going with No. 2 Mr. Gardener for 10,000 dollars.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Double episode. The end for another year.

One more year left.

WTF?

Did Hannah just grow up?

(Or did she just become a homeless vagrant?)

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I was glad to see her parents and also Neelix again.

No Hannah did not just grow up, she just looked slightly better than normal when juxtaposed with Jessa and Adam's destruction sex. That fruit basket is sitting outside their apartment waiting to go off, Hannah's "last" word, Hannah's BLESSING. The building might not survive it.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Oh, you're right, those rage junkies will definitely see that basket as a "fuck you bomb" but Hannah gave up on her hate, she probably hasn't forgiven them, but I think she's at a point where she can co-exist with them as near-by meat, and that there was nothing malicious about that fruit basket from starting principles.

Although, looking at those apples, I had to think about the Evil Queen delivering poisoned fruit to Snow White.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I bet it's freegan fruit and the basket was Fran's. He seems the picnic'ing sort.

 

[Guy Gardener]

So Fran tries to poison Hannah, who regifts the basket, and Adam gets off all the time he need for Star Wars next year.

I am so glad Tad (Hanna's dad) went and found himself some kitchenrat yum, because there was a moment I thought that he was going to get lost in Elijah country, which would have been wrong.

Friends ask friends permission before they #### their friends parents.

Dem's the rules.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Elijah was that close to doing Hannah's mom!

Elijah has parent issues.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Did he see her in that cat sweater?

That was horrible.

She looked like a poor, or a crazy.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

It was a tiger. I liked it.

 

[Guy Gardener]

You're going to try and turn me on to Pat Benatar?

Sho won the episode.

Sho wins.

Everyone loves Sho!

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Unfortunately for Ray he loves Marnie more.

 

[Guy Gardener]

His love for that monkey is like someone giving Ray a key to the NYPD evidence locker and allowing him to walk out with all the cocaine he wants.

Crazy people shouldn't be allowed to make decisions, or drive.

Imagine a breathalyser that could determine if you are too fucked up on love to drive responsibly?

Was Marnie too dumb to figure out that all she wants is a kid?

Never trust a girl with pink hair Desi.

ALL WOMEN don't blow or trust Desi.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

By the way, Lisa Bonet hasn't got any older since the 80s?

I was wondering if that was her but I doubted it because of the age.

I haven't watched much this season but caught the last two eps. I think my favorite part was just Colin Quinn and Sho dancing.