Kim's misadventures on the 'harem planet' (just rewatched that one a few days ago) made me think they remade the 'death by Snoo-Snoo' Futurama episode (or did ST do it first? Either way, Futurama did the 'play man-rape for laughs' thing). I once read that 'man rape' is the worlds most under-reported crime. There are several reasons for that (there was even an excellent Peter Sellers movie with that as the main premise - no-one believed him). Also, in most cases, its another man doing the... thing. Men will NOT report that. And it happens more often than people think.
Poor Ensign Kim - he just can't catch a break. But does he deserve one? He left a hotty that truly loved him back on Earth to further his career, and that one 'might have been' episode proved he would have an even more rewarding (successful?) career had he just stayed home. Of course, Paris would never have gotten to make squishy fish-babies with the Captain, so there's that.
And yeah, I would have to agree there is a huge double-standard, but being very old, I've grown accustomed to it. Men being forced into sexual situations is always played for comedy, which is terrible. But here's a question for all you enlightened people - would it have been worse/the same if it had been Sulu, knowing what we know now (and is firmly established in the Kelven timeline canon)? If some woman had done that to a man who was Gay? Does that make it even worse than what happened to Riker? It shouldn't. At least not legally. But it does, because now you haven't only violated a person's physical body, you've violated their convictions/lifestyle.