Facts about Uhura

[theFirebottle]

When Uhura's entire linguistics class passed all of their exams with perfect scores, the Academy thought someone had cheated and gotten out copies in advance.

Turns out Uhura's inherent genius rubbed off on them all so they could do nothing but score perfectly.

The officials were more than a little annoyed when the tactical sciences students did worse on the Kobayashi Maru than the linguistics students, due to Uhura's aura.




(Tee hee, I made a rhyme.)

 

[Mereope]

Uhura is so omnipotent, that she protects fools, little children, and ships named Enterprise.

Which makes Cupcake and Chekov very safe.

 

[Islander]

She is so hot, he can make Cupcake got red shirt himself...

 

[cooleddie74]

Uhura is so hot, even the Orion slave roommate lost her pheromone power when around her.

 

[Islander]

Orion slave girls where genetically created from Uhura's DNA and a popeye's spinach can.

 

[cooleddie74]

Orion slavers tried to sell Uhura once...but all the prospective male buyers were so horny they couldn't add anything in their head so she went unsold and was later released.

 

[Islander]

They were so horny their pants became too tight for them to pull their wallet from their back pocket.

 

[cooleddie74]

On Orion Prime, Uhura is known as "She Who was too Smokin' Even for Us."

 

[Islander]

She is so hot, she actually does orion slave girls as preliminaries...

 

[cooleddie74]

Uhura is so hot, even her umbilical cord at birth was too warm for the doctors to touch without two layers of gloves.

 

[Islander]

She is so hot that she let Robau's, Kirk's and even Cupcake's thread be bigger because she can handle it.

 

[Islander]

If red matter had produce Uhura's mouth instead of a blackhole, the Enterprise would not have excaped at the end.

 

[Islander]

Uhura is soooooo hot, she chug tabasco sauce to cool down.

 

[cooleddie74]

Uhura once time traveled back to 1972 New York and changed her name to "Cleopatra Bootylicious."

 

[Islander]

When she has an orgasm, she emits an electromagnectic pulse disabling all systems near by.

Robau hired her.

Bio arsenals where banned at the Kithomer accord.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau did Uhura's mother. That's where Uhura came from.

 

[Islander]

But Uhura travelled back in time and gave birth to Robau... Hoo, the shear mechanics is burning my brain.

 

[theFirebottle]

Captain Kirk will never have to argue a computer to death in this timeline because Uhura will shut them all down with a single phoneme. Yes, all of them at once. The ones that haven't gone crazy yet will hear this phoneme and instantly attain timeless serenity.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau isn't bothered by temporal mechanics. Temporal mechanics worries about Robau.

 

[Islander]

Uhura is so, so hot, she IS time... Time is the fire in which we burn...