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Facts About Captain Robau

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Gears of Halo Theft Auto 7 will be rated RO (Robau Only) because only Robau will be able to handle its depravity.
 
Robau's meatloaf contains 25% ground beef, 25% seasoning and sauces and 50% his own blood.
 
Yo captain Kirk fans
I'm really happy for you and Imma let you finish

But Robau is the best Captain of all time...ALL TIME

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When playing poker Captain Robau never needs to bluff because no matter what hand he is dealt Robau always wins.

Yup. And even if he's dealt a losing hand (blasphemous DEALER!), everyone else folds in the end because his poker face is so intense it bores down into one's SOUL....
 
^AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!^

By the way...

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas--but only because Robau pajamas are embroidered with Kryptonite.

Jack Bauer wears Robau pajamas, BTW. ;)
 
^AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!^

Yes...and therefore, he commands that we prove our submission to His Supreme Awesomeness by beginning each of the next fifty posts with the Latin script of "Hail Robau", as I have:

^AVE CAPUT ROBAU MAXIMUS!!!^

Any more is simply freewill offerings of loyalty...but he may decree otherwise, so just to be safe...
 
Borg ships used to look like the Narada, but then Robau scared them straight. That's why their ships are cubes now.
 
Robau is the reason Santa's sleigh can visit hundreds of millions of children in one night. The secret?

Robau pushes it to incomprehensible speeds with his glare.
 
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