Facts About Captain Robau

[Rush Limborg]

Let's get one thing straight:

The only reason Icemiser (or Icemizer, whatevah) is alive right now is because Captain Robau finds his insolence amusing...

For now.

 

[Eleanor_zhDarjel]

Or he doesn't notice him....

 

[Voyagerian]

Robau is neither from a 'red state' or 'blue state'...because Total Awesomeness has no geographic boundaries...

 

[barnaclelapse]

Robau makes a better turkey sandwich than you.

 

[6079SmithW]

Robau makes a better turkey then nature. The turkeys he created are 100 percent more badass and awesome and, yes, they can fly. And you know what? On Thanksgiving Robau-turkeys eat roast human.

 

[Cyke101]

Robau personally negotiated the merger of Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook just to make the corporate giant called YouTwitFace.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Robau doesn't need a Twitter account either... everyone knows what's on his mind. "Being badass"

 

[6079SmithW]

Robau personally negotiated the merger of Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook just to make the corporate giant called YouTwitFace.

Robau finds this highly amusing.

 

[CaptainStoner]

Robau has a purple lightsaber, but almost never has to use it.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Robau personally negotiated the merger of Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook just to make the corporate giant called YouTwitFace.

Robau finds this highly amusing.

And when Robau is amused, we get to live.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau is only amused when impressed. So...understandably...that's why he scowls a lot.

 

[Broccoli]

Robau was big into polarizing things. That's why it became the cliche it is. In tribute to Robau.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau conquered BOTH Santa and the Martians. In under one day.

 

[CaptainStoner]

Robau crushed his enemies, saw them fall before him, and heard the lamentations of THE WOMEN!!!!

 

[stonester1]

Before Washington DC was built, Captain Robau once stood on that location, thrown back in time. The native Americans tell the story to this day, about the awesome, MASCULINE presence. The US Founding Fathers were so impressed by the story, they built a permanent monument to it. It's called the Washington Monument...but to the people of the day, saluting the 1st President of the USA was less risque than calling it, "Salute to Captain Robau's Penis".

But we all know the real story.

 

[stonester1]

The Star In The East? Just the sun shining off Captain Robau's smooth head. He was sitting on the outer hull of the Kelvin, checking out some history...and became a part of it.

 

[Aragorn]

When the Grinch tried to steal Christmas, Robau ripped out his throat with his bare hands and then cooked him on the bbq grill. The children that year not only had Christmas but steaks too.

 

[Voyagerian]

Charles Dickens met Robau during a temporal vacation, and being so impressed, wrote an alternate to 'A Christmas Carol'..in which a powerful, bald man ('Spirit Of Christmas Far-Future')who comes and shows Ebeneezer what happens to all men who act as he has been towards fellow men...THEY FACE THE ROBAUWRATH....

 

[Squiggy]

In the Twelve Days of Christmas, all the gifts have been changed to Robaus.

 

[Piper]

Captain Robau can never remember where he's left his keys.