Ming the Merciless wishes he was as badass as Robau.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Ming the Merciless wishes he was as badass as Robau.
Kahn Noonien Singh and his buddies heard that Captain Robau was searching for them and decided to high tail it off into outer space via the Botany Bay. Centuries later, with Robau hot on their heels, Khan begged Kirk to strand them all on a planet in an obscure and little known solar system in order to hide. Kahn thought that he was finally safe on Ceti Alpha V and decided to do some relaxing. Six months later Robau showed up in the system (because he always knows) and caused Ceti Alpha VI to explode by touching it, causing environmental mayhem on Ceti Alpha V. Kahn, forced to live in hell on this now decrepit world, must also look up into the night sky and every night see the laughing face of Captain Robau.
The radar didn't pick up 99 luftballons or UFOs, they were Robau's sperm flying in penetration formation.
Don't we all?
With all respect to a great villain...that's hilarious! And also very true. Lessee...Robau's very biology is so AWESOMELY BAD,Borg nanoprobes dissolve when they come into contact with his cellular strutures, so he is immune to their influence. However, the jealous factions atHQ refused to add this to Fleet defenses-thus why the Collective kept threatening the UFP.
Robau's crew consider themselves to be having a fantastic day if Robau farts in their presence, some even ascribing the event with religous significance.
Every day is a holiday on the Kelvin....because to be in the presence of Robau is joy itself.
Every creation myth across the alpha quadrant can, in some way, be linked to a Robau fart.
Robau's badassness is so divinely awe-inspiring that even Greg House became a believer.
Robau doesn't need a phaser power pack if his runs out of energy. He simply sticks his finger in the slot, and allows some of his Awesome Energy to be transferred into the weapon.
And anything he shots after doing this is instantly vaporized, and that's just on the stun setting.
Robau was the second shooter OF the Grassy Knoll. He took that bitch down harder than a lawn mower.
Robau is a cologne that has initiated more mating rites than all the Prom Nights of Earth history.
Robau bought the Blu Ray of Star Trek because Badass is better in blu ray.
It turns out that Robau is in high definition even in crappy low-res internet bootlegs of the film.
You can, in fact, divide by zero if you include the "Robau" variable (R) in the denominator. Dividing any non-zero number by R times zero ( #/R*0 ) always equals 1. 1 badass Captain.
Robau is the reason why High Def was invented
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