Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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The Soviet "test" of the Tsar hydrogen bomb produced the largest explosion in the world at 57 megatons. It wasn't a test, but an attempt to destroy Robau by dropping it directly on him. The blast, visible for over 600 miles, caused him to blink and the resulting radiation gave him a minor itch on his scalp. Nothing can destroy Robau! Nothing!
History has that wrong. That test was, in fact, the result of Robau consuming an entire Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant dripping in blazing sauce (which he found rather mild).
Why is there so much shaky cam in XI? Because the cameras are shaking out of shear terror at being in the same movie as Robau.
And the lens flare was merely all the light that shone off of Robau's perfectly shiny scalp.
The rule in "Scrabble" that no proper nouns may be used is to prevent the use of thev word ROBAU, which is considered an immediate win by being automatically worth twice as many points as won in the rest of the game's turns put together, wherever it happens to be placed.
Captain Robau only allowed himself to die so that the movie would last longer than .02 seconds.
Nero and his crew thought that they were the most badass, handsomest guys in the galaxy due to their bald haircuts. Then they came across the Kelvin, whose Captain was way more good looking then all of them combined and whose head was actually bald and not just shaved really short. In a fit of jealous rage Nero ordered an attack on the Kelvin.
He then had Robau come aboard in order to see for himself this "baldness imposter" and teach him a lesson.
Nero was so awestruck by Robau's baldness and good looks that he was speechless and Ayel had to do the talking.
Realizing that Robau was truly the most badass handsomest guy in existence, Nero got even more jealous and decided to kill him.
Robau could have easily killed Nero but allowed himself to die by Nero's hands in order to travel to the afterlife. He'd been reading the bible recently and wanted to "correct" this God guy who was claiming that He was the he pinnacle of existence, the ultimate power, the almighty, the alpha and omega, etc. And by correct I mean he was going to kick God's ass for committing such blasphemy against the Robau.
He then had Robau come aboard in order to see for himself this "baldness imposter" and teach him a lesson.
Nero was so awestruck by Robau's baldness and good looks that he was speechless and Ayel had to do the talking.
Realizing that Robau was truly the most badass handsomest guy in existence, Nero got even more jealous and decided to kill him.
Robau could have easily killed Nero but allowed himself to die by Nero's hands in order to travel to the afterlife. He'd been reading the bible recently and wanted to "correct" this God guy who was claiming that He was the he pinnacle of existence, the ultimate power, the almighty, the alpha and omega, etc. And by correct I mean he was going to kick God's ass for committing such blasphemy against the Robau.
Thus says The Great Badass Awesome Book of Robau!
The Manhattan Project was in reality just a government experiment to try to restore Robau's hair. The first atomic explosion in New Mexico? When it failed.
The Reuben originally consisted of corned beef, saurkraut, swiss cheese, thousand island dressing, and Captain Robau's special sauce. The sauce had to be omitted later on due to the fact that its awesome flavor, equal to the awesomeness of Robau himself, caused peoples heads to explode.
Julius Caesar was considered bold for crossing the Rubicon, but he was considered to be just plain stupid for crossing Robau.
Julius Caesar was considered bold for crossing the Rubicon, but he was considered to be just plain stupid for crossing Robau.
Julius Caesar was really killed by Robau. Brutus took the fall.
Et tu Robau?
Robau also killed Mark Antony and Cleopatra.
Their deaths are often referred to as suicide because the last thing they did was insult Robau. If that's not suicide, I don't know what is.
TrekBBS is not powered by vBulletin, it is powered by Captain Robau.
Robau invented porn when he walked by a group of tourists with video cameras. His mere presence caused everyone's libido to instantly increase by 2,000% and the resulting sexual mayhem was caught on their video cameras.
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