Facts About Captain Robau

[cooleddie74]

Robau wears size 34 slacks. In that respect, he's actually quite normal.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Captain Robau was never mentioned on TOS and TNG because just saying his name would cause planets to explode, governments to fall, and everyone in the universe would shit and piss their pants in mortal terror.

 

[Islander]

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Robau during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau taught men the very first Doggie Style position. And we screwed it all up.

 

[EnsignRicky]

Robau was the fifth Beatle.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

The last person who said Robert April was a better captain than Robau died a mysteriously horrible death.

 

[Islander]

Robau doesn't use pickup lines, he just says "suck it, bitch".

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau doesn't use pickup lines, he just says "suck it, bitch".

And they do it.

 

[Islander]

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Robau can throw Brett Favre even further.

 

[cooleddie74]

^
And Giants Stadium a further five miles.

 

[Islander]

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Robau CAN touch this.

 

[cooleddie74]

While Vanilla Ice crossed Robau the wrong way...and the rest is history.

 

[Islander]

Robau doesnt tea bag people, he potato sacks them.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Robau can crush coal into diamonds with his eyelids

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau can crush coal into diamonds with his eyelids

And Robau can crush diamonds into dust with his bare hands.

 

[Islander]

"Don't try what your're about to see at home" doesn't apply to Robau.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^
And Giants Stadium a further five miles.

They saved a lot of money for the demolition. Robau will eat the entire stadium himself.

 

[Toruika]

Robau expected the Spanish Inquisition.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ Amongst their weaponry are such diverse elements as....Robau.

 

[Hartzilla2007]

Robau says Superman is a wimp.