If 2012 starred Captain Robau, he would have just yelled "STOP!", the apocaylpse would cease instantly, and the Earth would humbly repair it's tectonic plates.
Facts About Captain Robau
- Thread starter Herkimer Jitty
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Robau does not believe in that 2012 claptrap anyway. In fact he is personally responsible for the downfall of the Mayan civilization because of their blasphemy.
Robau knows where the Higgs boson is.
Captain Robau knows what you did last summer.
^And is not impressed.
Robau is immune to catch-22's, but catch-22's often find themselves caught in Robaus.
Robau is so badass, he experiences catch-23s.
Robau used to live in Antarctica but he was so cool that the whole damn continent froze over.
Robau makes ice the old fashioned way.
By glaring angrily at water.
By glaring angrily at water.
The last time water pissed Robau off he glared at it so harshly that the whole ocean froze over, causing snowball earth.
The last Ice Age?
When Robau time traveled back to ancient Earth to get ice for his liquor...and he couldn't find the right kind.
When Robau time traveled back to ancient Earth to get ice for his liquor...and he couldn't find the right kind.
Some public figures give speeches at universities and receive honorary degrees. Robau gave a speech in front of the U.S. government and was officially declared a State.
Robau enjoys christmas time.
^And he's awesome enough to CALL it "Christmas", and no one complains! 
^Because even a second with Robau is like the best Christmas that you'll ever have.
Robau even knows the purpose of "Boxing Day"! 
Captain Robau had a better Thanksgiving than you.
Robau rocks really rapidly.
Robau knows what the hell the music video for Shock the Monkey is all about.
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