Facts About Captain Robau

[Nick Ryder]

And then Robau pulled said subway car though the tunnels with his pinky. Oh yes the Robau is truly awesome.

 

[Set Harth]

Subway PAYS Robau $5 to eat footlongs.

Subway eats Robau's footlong.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau IS Subway.

 

[stonester1]

Jedis use the Force. The Force uses Robaus. Midiclorians play no part, having been the creation of a hack writer in a fevered dream.

 

[Aragorn]

Robau can play Blu-ray discs on his VCR.

 

[Cyke101]

Robau can show you online porn and hack into the Pentagon with an abacus.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau can break INTO the Pentagon itself with nothing more than an abacus. OR one abacus bead.

 

[Aragorn]

Robau can grow corndogs out in the wild.

 

[6079SmithW]

On his 21st birthday Robau went out drinking with his friends. They started a contest to see who could drink the most. Three days later all of Robau's friends were unconscious while Robau had consumed every last drop of booze in the galaxy and was completely unfazed. This event was the end of true alcohol and is the reason that everyone is forced to drink synthohol in the 24th century.

 

[cooleddie74]

Robau can grow edible, incredible dessert dishes from his own arms.

 

[F. King Daniel]

99% of suicides in the world come right after people compare themselves to Captain Robau.

Hard vacuum is only hard because it's gay for Captain Robau.

Austin Powers wants to be Captain Robau.

Captain Robau sank the Titanic.

Captain Robau sank the Space Titanic.

If Robau was captain of Voyager, they'd have gotten home in, like, five minutes.

Captain Robau unlocked his new phone just by looking at it.

 

[6079SmithW]

Goliath would have squashed David if he had not been temporarily distracted (and blinded) by the glorious lens flares issuing forth from Robau's holy scalp as he whizzed by in his golden chariot of awesomeness.

 

[cooleddie74]

The Neutral Zone between Romulus and Earth-controlled and -allied space?

Debris from a really, really big Robau sneeze.

 

[Wynterhawk]

Dial, 876-5309 and Robau will answer.

 

[Aragorn]

Robau doesn't need an iPad. He can make the molecules in the air form a screen that can connect online.

 

[Mach5]

Hard vacuum is only hard because it's gay for Captain Robau.

EPIC!

 

[Wynterhawk]

Robau will drink your Slusho mix.

 

[Cyke101]

A popular anagram for "Robau" is "Badass."

(I dare you to tell him that's not an anagram. The letters, like George Kirk, follow his orders.)

 

[Set Harth]

When Robau has sex with a woman, he converts her into a lesbian.

Because after having experienced the sheer awesomeness of Robau's loving, she's ruined for all other men.

 

[Cyke101]

Apple's iTouch has millions of fans. When Robau says "I touch," trillions go crazy with desire.