Well, 32 years on this planet, I had to take my turn.
After I checked out at a market yesterday, I had to take care of some business. The restrooms were right up front. It was a Whole Foods and the signs they used were these modern looking contraptions made of cork, with the universal male/female silhouette polished metal plating mounted over the cork. With the subdued lighting they use, it was hard to distinguish the two with a casual look (I obviously studied after the fact). So, I'm kind of in a hurry, and after a quick glance, walking past an occupied stall, choose my 90 second sanctuary.
Right away my senses told me something wasn't right.
The smell was --- a bit off. I don't know just different. As I hunted for that familiar looking porcelain, there were only -- walls! Modesty paneling making out stalls. Not the first time, sometimes designers keep bathrooms configured for unisex use by turning it all female/pansy-man.
The final nail in the coffin was the second I walked into the stall. As my eyes focused on the target, there on the paper dispenser were the remains of one feminine napkin. And at that *exact* instant, the sound of my neighbor's urinating had this very distinctive tone about it as it hit the water in the bowl.
YOU FUCKED UP, KLADIS! GET OUUUUT. GET OUT OF THERE! GET OUUUUUUUT!
Without saying a peep, I hauled my ass out of there, preparing my story for the police. Thankfully no one saw me making the dash for the mens room. Crisis averted. Remaining urine was properly deposited.
After I checked out at a market yesterday, I had to take care of some business. The restrooms were right up front. It was a Whole Foods and the signs they used were these modern looking contraptions made of cork, with the universal male/female silhouette polished metal plating mounted over the cork. With the subdued lighting they use, it was hard to distinguish the two with a casual look (I obviously studied after the fact). So, I'm kind of in a hurry, and after a quick glance, walking past an occupied stall, choose my 90 second sanctuary.
Right away my senses told me something wasn't right.
The smell was --- a bit off. I don't know just different. As I hunted for that familiar looking porcelain, there were only -- walls! Modesty paneling making out stalls. Not the first time, sometimes designers keep bathrooms configured for unisex use by turning it all female/pansy-man.
The final nail in the coffin was the second I walked into the stall. As my eyes focused on the target, there on the paper dispenser were the remains of one feminine napkin. And at that *exact* instant, the sound of my neighbor's urinating had this very distinctive tone about it as it hit the water in the bowl.
YOU FUCKED UP, KLADIS! GET OUUUUT. GET OUT OF THERE! GET OUUUUUUUT!
Without saying a peep, I hauled my ass out of there, preparing my story for the police. Thankfully no one saw me making the dash for the mens room. Crisis averted. Remaining urine was properly deposited.