DS9 Caption Contest #34: Good Times in the Bajoran Sector

[LeadHead]

Good Day to everyone! Hope the last 2 weeks have been good to all of you!

First up to the plate, we have the "Best Investigator" Award, going to:

Odo had been conversing with, and showing the emu around for nearly an hour before someone finally told him it wasn't a changeling, just an escapee from the station's petting zoo.

Next, the "Preparedness" Award goes to:

Miles: "Julian's planning on giving a speech. You'll need one of these."

Next, a tag-team effort, The "Don't Mess with the Shat!" Award goes to:

Sisko: "This is the last time I'll go with priceline.com."

("Priceline Negotiator Theme Instrumental" plays)

Worf: What...was...that?

Batting Cleanup, we have the "He Speaks!" Award, going to:

Morn (offscreen): Oh thank God! I thought he would never shut up.

Next, we have the "Don't worry, we're listening" Award, goes to:

Dax, shouting: And another thing! You never listen to me when I try to talk to you! All you do is no and murmur meaninglessly!
Sisko, nodding: Mmm-hmmm, mm-hmm. Go on.

Apparently Odo had heard that the bird was the word.

Congratulations to all of our winners and many thanks to all of our contestants! Lets go again!

Off we go!

 

[LeadHead]

Bashir: You know, we really should just fix the sensors so I don't have to do this anymore.

Nog: Uh-Oh! Better move fast! O'Brien said he'd kill the next person who complained.

Computer: Warning Explosive Amnesia detected on Promenade.

Sisko: Really, Jake? I left the Commbadge on the doorknob! Get out!

Sisko: ...And since we have 2 senior officers fraternizing with each other...

Dax: Did you tell anyone about us dating?!

Worf: No!

Odo: Get a room!

 

[Skywalker]

Sisko: ...And since we have 2 senior officers fraternizing with each other...

Dax: Did you tell anyone about us dating?!

Worf: No!

Odo: Get a room!

Bashir: "Oh, good, I thought he was talking about me and Miles."
Everyone turns to look at him.
Bashir: "...Did I just say that out loud?"

 

[Finn]

Bashir: ...and those seven stars with the two O-type pulsars looks like a nude Dax...

O'Brien: ...Which Dax?

Jadzia: Oh, come on, guys! I wish I never showed you two that old picture of Captain Sisko and Curzon at Risa.

Jake: What are you doing Dad?! What about Mom?

Sam Beckett: Oh boy

 

[Admiral Shran]

Thanks the win!

Jake: Hey guys, did you Rock the Casbah?

Sisko: JAKE! .... Yes.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Director (OS): "Cut! Okay, let's try it again. And this time, could everybody bring it down a notch or two? Or ten?"

Frustrated by the long line to the ladies' restroom, Kira boldly barged into the men's room...tragically unaware of the overpowering visual, aural and olfactory bitch-slapping she was walking into.

 

[Bob Karo]

Earlier....

Now...

Miles: Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?!?

 

[Admiral Shran]

O'Brien: You want to imply that I want my wife to be a man again, little boy?

Dax: Oh, that looks painful! And I should know, I have been a man.

O'Brien: It's just the semi-annual maintenance sweep Quark!

Quark: Semi-annual?! This is the fourth time you've done it this month! Don't you have a wife?

When Sisko noticed that everyone was distracted during the staff meeting, he starting telling a baseball story. Everyone promptly fell asleep.

 

[Admiral Shran]

Frustrated by the long line to the ladies' restroom, Kira boldly barged into the men's room...tragically unaware of the overpowering visual, aural and olfactory bitch-slapping she was walking into.

She also learned that the Gallamite skull isn't their only transparent part.

 

[Nerys Myk]

BASHIR: There's that cat again!

O'BRIEN: You can't actually sell the boy to Starfleet.

QUARK: What if I toss in some self sealing stem bolts?

Blinded by the light, revved up like a duece, another runner in the night.

JAKE: So, should I toss all of the holos of mom out the airlock?

SISKO (os) And one last thing...Nice purse there "Julie".

BASHIR: Its a satchel!!!!!!!

 

[highlander]

Kira really regretted going tanning with Vedek Snookie.

Thanks for the Runabout it sure is shiny!

 

[Isis]

Driver's license photos reached a new low in the 24th Century.

 

[AdmiralGarak]

O'Brien: "I don't care how genetically enhanced you are, you can't pilot the ship with your bloody hair!"
Bashir: "Watch me!"

O'Brien: "I've repaired the drinks dispenser for you, Quark. There was a strange glitch that caused all of your drinks to be 99.3% water."
Quark: "G-glitch?"

Never challenge a genetically engineered man to a belching contest.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

O'Brien: "The bells, master! The bells!!"

Dax: Julian, find the source of that alarm quickly, so he can fix it! He's getting very agitated!"

Quark: "Morn got into the storage room again, didn't he?"

O'Brien: "Stand back Quark; it's best you don't see this".

Sisko (offscreen): "Okay, everyone looks nervous except Odo (who's defiant and challenging), and Dax, who's looking at Worf. My conclusion: last night's damage was caused by Bashir, O'Brien and Kira, led by Worf, on a drunken parade around the promenade. Am I close?"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Sisko: "The Knight has swept across the board and taken the Queen"

Jake: "The Knights can only move three spaces in a really convoluted way and spend most of their time going sideways".

Sisko: "...."

 

[highlander]

Ben and Kasidy never had to worry about using birth control........they had Jake.

 

[Kirby]

Julian: You gave the Runabout T-tops? What about the air?
O'Brien: I guess I didn't think about the air. Is that a problem? Eh, let's check it out anyway.

O'Brien: Yeah, yeah Quark, in a minute... I'm playin' Angry Birds.

Kira: There is one, albeit a really huge, LIGHT!

Jake: Ok Dad, fine, she has a great ass. Can I go do my homework now... please?

Julian ... and here we are at the beach... and this is the big hole that I dug, that took like an hour... and look at this guy's crazy hat... this is our rental shuttle... and this is our room... check this out, this is that cheeseburger I was telling you about, man that was good... oh yeah, here's the sunset. Too bad I had the camera set on black and white...

Jadzia: Ok Worf, go get your Bat'leth.

 

[Skywalker]

Kira: "Why the hell is there a demon in my refrigerator?!"

 

[highlander]

Kira: "Why the hell is there a demon in my refrigerator?!"

Fridge: "There is no demon only Frooool!!!!"

 

[highlander]

Jake: "TROJAN MAN !!!!!!"