DS9 Caption Contest #25: A Salute to Runabouts

[LeadHead]

Happy Friday to you! The two weeks of this contest is up and now lets see what we have here...

First off the "Know your Enemy" Award goes to:

Worf: Now?
Dax: No. His legs are still crossed. And he's glaring at the door. Trust me. You don't want to go into Sisko's office and ask for a raise at a time like this.
Worf: He has been like this for days.
Dax: You should've seen him when Kasidy was caught running cargo for the Maquis.

Next, the "Prerequisites" Award goes to:

Odo: "Ezri, didn't you realize they'd eventually find out you never took high school biology?"

Next, the "The Honeymoon is over, at least for the guests" Award goes to:

Day three of Dax and Worf's wedding.

Next, The "LOL Cats" Award goes to:

I can't help but think about one of the funniest LOLCATS ever:

"Thermometer goes WHERE??"

Next, the "Cartography 101" Award goes to:

Jack: Do you think you've made it clear where we are on this map?

Patric: Do you think it needs more arrows?

Next our Leaping Photoshop Award goes to...

Jadzia: Worf? You ok? Worf?

Jadzia: Worf?

Sam Beckett: Oooohhh Boooy

And...

ODO: We're ready. Send in Mr Gallagher.

Congrats to all of our winners!

With our 25th contest kicking off, we're gonna spend a little time on runabouts this time around.

Lets roll!

 

[LeadHead]

Bashir: He's alive, but he's thinking about Reality TV. He doesn't have long to live.

Odo: Ah, Garfield. What hi-jinks will you get into next?

Dukat: I thought you knew how to drive this thing!

Sisko: Somebody else usually comes with me on runabout missions!

Leeta: Have you ever noticed how all stars look the same?

Worf: What? Blasphemy!

Bashir wasn't satisfied with getting shotgun. Bashir will drive.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Bashir: "This confirms my theory."

Worf: "Theory? What theory?"

Bashir: "Space is boring."

For Odo, watching videos of ferrofluids was always good for a laugh.

Sisko: "Oh, so that's the warp drive button."

Dukat: "I've changed my mind. I think I'll wait back on the station."

Leeta: "We're going to Risa... again."

Worf: "Please kill me now..."

Bashir: "We are not. Going. To Risa. I hope I've made myself clear."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Leeta: "Put some speed on! I've got a big show booked on Risa and you'd damn well better not make me late for it!"
Dax (thinking): "Just keep pushing, lady! You forget I've been around a looong time! How'd you like everyone to find out you started out as a five-credit hooker on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet?"

 

[Rush Limborg]

Bashir: Excellent. We're in the middle of a malestrom in the Badlands--and that's CONVENIENTLY when The Prophets come over for a visit in our Captain's head!

Worf: Surely you can help him compensate.

Bashir: I'm a doctor, not an exorcist. And don't call me Shirley.

Odo took more than one "guilty pleasure" in reading the Mike Hammer tales.

Naturally, he would never dream of sharing them with Quark. As far as the Ferengi was concerned...Odo was just absorbed in a dang good detective story, which just HAPPENED to include some "bodice-ripping"...

Dukat: MUST...NOW...STOP IT!!!

Sisko: I CAN'T! INERTIAL...DAMPNERS...TOO...WEAK!

Dukat: I...WARNED YOU...ABOUT...THIS! BAJORANS...WON'T...PASS UP...A GOOD...OPPORTUNITY...TO KILL ME!!!

Sisko: UGH...THEY'D...KILL ME...TOO!

Dukat: SMALL...PRICE...TO PAY!!!

Jadzia: (thinking) You know, Worf...she's waiting for an answer.

Worf: (thinking) I do not think it appropriate. We cannot ask honestly, without offending her sensibilities.

Jadzia: (thinking) She'll be offended by silence, too, Worf. Tell her "No"!

Worf: (thinking) That would be a lie. There is no honor in--

Leeta: Come on, guys! I asked you a question--does this make me look fat?

Worf: (thinking) Why don't YOU answer?

Jadzia: (thinking) She want's a GUY's opinion.

Worf: (thinking) How do you know?

Jadzia: (thinking) It's a girl thing!

Worf: (thinking) I don't--

Leeta: Guys, COME ON!!!

Worf: Sorry, I was preoccupied. What was your question?

Leeta: Oh, PLEASE....

Chief Medical Officer's Log: After traversing the Badlands, I offer my medical diagnosis of the crew as follows:

Shaken...not stirred.

("James Bond Theme" plays....)

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Bashir: "Make the water temp in the bowl 91.7°"

Worf: "Why?"

Bashir: "You'll see"

Odo: "I fail to see the humor is this joke"

 

[Skywalker]

Leeta: "Boy, you weren't kidding, Jadzia! I thought Klingons were supposed to be larger than that?"
Jadzia: "I told you. He's lucky I love him so much."
Worf: "I am sitting right here!"

Bashir: "I warned them not to sit behind me after dinner on Mexican Mondays..."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Bashir: "Now entering V'ger's energy cloud..."

The crew begin to snore.

 

[Skywalker]

Bashir: "My God! He's slipped into some sort unconscious state!"
Worf: "I warned him not to look into the Orb of Narcolepsy."

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Bashir: "Incredible! You've caused everybody in the entire solar system to fall asleep simply by mentioning the word 'honor'."

Odo: "Wait, your first kiss was Morn!?" {Snicker} "I can't believe I waited this long to seize your diary as police evidence!"

Dukat: "How much longer?"
Sisko: "Ninety-three lightyears."
Dukat: "Dammit. Why the heck did your people design these things without restrooms?"

Kira: (comm) "We have you surrounded. Power down your engines and prepare to be boarded."
Bashir-Changeling: "I don't think so, Major. Computer, play Recording Omega."
Worf: (recording) "Honor."
Kira: (comm) "Zzzzzzzz"
Bashir-Changeling: "Heh-heh-heh..."

 

[Skywalker]

Bashir: "Incredible! You've caused everybody in the entire solar system to fall asleep simply by mentioning the word 'honor'."

Worf: "So why aren't you asleep?"
Bashir: "Well, I'm British. You have to say it with a 'u' for it to work on me."

 

[Mage]

It was at this point that the rest of the crew found out that Sisko didn't believe in Don't Drink And Drive.


And thanks for the win!!!

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Bashir: ''NOW I can play Tetris in peace!''

Odo: ''Quark, you'll never change... A thief remains a thief.''
Quark: ''Just WHAT did I do now?!''
Odo: ''You misplaced my PADD with one of your smuggled antique Earth devices! And I haven't figured out yet what that little apple icon stands for!''

Sisko: ''Damn it, someone set the inertial dampeners to Zefram Cochrane mode again! I'll have a little chat with Bashir and O'Brien, that's for sure...''

 

[Nerys Myk]

BASHIR: Nope, even asleep his Badass levels are off the scale.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

Odo: "Wait, your first kiss was Morn!?" {Snicker} "I can't believe I waited this long to seize your diary as police evidence!"

AAAAHAHAHAHA!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Bashir, thinking: Damned backseat drivers.

Sisko: THE ACCELERATOR IS STUCK!
Dukat: YOU'RE PRESSING THE WRONG PEDAL!

 

[Kirby]

Odo: Let's see if I got this right... 'Dear Penthouse, I never thought I would be writing in, but i've recently been getting friendly with a woman with a ridged nose...'

Sisko: Prepare for ludacris speed!

Dr. Julian Bashir, silent but deadly.

 

[Nerys Myk]

ODO: You find the next one yet, Quark? I'm almost done with Twlight: New Moon.

 

[Mistral]

Julian was oblivious to his own body odor.

 

[Mistral]

Odo: "These pictures of your brother and his wife on their honeymoon? Hysterical!"

Quark: "Wait until I find the disc of Sisko and Cassidy. Humans have some peculiar ideas of what a bedroom is for..."