DS9 Caption Contest 108: She Blinded Me with SCIENCE!

[Smellincoffee]

Welcome back to another caption contest! Last week we featured Julian staring at women, and now the results:

JADZIA: "So Julian, what's it going to be this time? It's cold and we have to cling together to conserve body heat, just as an excuse to dryhump my hip? The compartment may suddenly vent into space and we'll need to hold on to each other to keep from being pulled out, just so you can feel me up?
BASHIR: "NO! I'm gravely concerned for our safety and wanted to make sure you're not scared"
JADZIA: "I'm sorry I misjudged you Julian, thank yo--"
BASHIR: "And we need to cling together to conserve body heat and keep each other from being pulled out into space"
JADZIA: "Jerk!"

MELORA: Julian, I've been hearing some rumors, and I'm becoming a little concerned. How did you meet your last girlfriend?
BASHIR: She was a patient who I miraculously cured from a horrible crippling illness.
MELORA: And your girlfriend before that?
BASHIR: Her? She was of a species who finds trace elements in most M class planets' atmospheres toxic. I altered her lungs so she wouldn't have to wear a mask on the station.
MELORA: I think I'd like to go now.

Leeta: Just one thing, Julian: suppose this week becomes so...pleasurable, our passions stir up so much we start reconsidering?
Bashir: Well...I suppose, then, a cold shower's in order?
Leeta: Think it would work? I'm not a cold sort of girl.
Bashir: Certainly not.
Leeta: Everyone tells me I'm "hot".
Bashir: Certainly, yes.
(Long pause)
Leeta: So...you said "a cold shower". Does that mean we do it together...?
(Pause)
Bashir: This is gonna take longer than we thought.

[

Bashir: "Oh come on! How is my violating every ethic and rule in the book to perform a risky surgery on you just so we can have sex is in any way creepy?"

Dax: There's you anniversary gift, Julian: an android of Stella Mudd. I haven't figured out how to turn it off yet.

Annnnnnnnd now, the running joke that never flushes --

Dax: Where are we?
Bashir: We're trapped in the lavatory.
Dax: But there's no toilet.
Bashir: This is Star Trek.

This week: SCIENCE! Behold, the crew scanning! Blowing things up! Looking quizically!

..okay, it's hard to liven up a screencap with just a tricorder, so I leaned heavily on the explosive aspect. Have fun!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

TFTW!

O'BRIEN: Damn Cardassians. Only they would design a science station where you have to lean all the way over the control console to reach the sample!

SISKO: More pyrotechnics. The Emissary must look like a boss.

SISKO: A giant chainsaw? Come on Dominion, you're not even trying anymore.

QUARK: The entire station can create things from their imagination and people are on fire? You hew-mons. How can this be anything but sexy-time?

DAX: Unidentified ship on sensors!
O'BRIEN: Dominion?
DAX: No! Sensors identify it as...a magic school bus!

BASHIR: This is it. With this serum, Gem'Hadar will once again be able to sexually reproduce.
GEM'HADAR: What? We wanted you to cure our addiction to the white!
BASHIR: Trust me. This is better.

 

[T'Girl]

Sisko: "Wrong? Why no Admiral, there's nothing wrong."

It was a special day on DS9 when Lt. Johnny Storm reported for duty.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Sisko: JJ Abrams, you think you've got lense flares? I'll show you a badass ship with lense flares.

 

[Finn]

Molly: (OS) When will Daddy be home?

Keiko: (OS) Soon. Julian said he just left Quark's.

Molly: Hope he had a good day. He was a grouch last night

Keiko: Julian talked as if it was a normal day for Daddy.

 

[Rat Boy]

O'Brien: "So that's what's wrong. You're running your microwave off of a quantum singularity."

Sisko: "Could someone turn that down? I'm watching my show here!"

Sisko: "Winn Adami Throughway? What'll that asshole think of next?"

Odo: "Security to Ops: someone took the Burning Man festival on the Promenade a little too literally."

O'Brien: "I wonder how many shrinkage jokes were going to get when we get back."

Jadzia: "What do you mean 'we,' Chief?"

Bashir: "Trust me: pouring Denevan scotch into your coffee is a very precise procedure."

 

[Orac]

My biscuits are burning!

 

[Nebusj]

``You know you're interrogating our old toilet seat cover, right?''

``Yeah, I ordered the General Tso's, got a problem with that?''

``It says it's Pioneer 14 and it was looking for a ... Vejur?''

``AAAAUGH! MY ANDORIAN ICE POWERS BROKE!''

``Anyone else see a Mugato looking at us, in that nebula? No? It's just me, then? Well, I still think it looks like a Mugato. Dark eye, nose going off toward the runabout and that third light. You don't see it? Well, so you don't see it. It's frowning.''

Bashir: ``Four parts gin, two parts cherry liqueur, one part cointreau, one part benedictine, one-quarter part Odo ...''
Odo: ``Repeat that last one?''

 

[Nerys Myk]

KEIKO: Those had better be healthy selections, Miles! Remember your diet!!!!!

O'BRIEN: God. She's everywhere.

SISKO: Just how long is this train?

 

[f14peter]

O'BRIEN (thinking): "Hmmmmm ... mushu targ? ... targ rinds? ... sweet and sour targ? ... targ chops? ... targ schnitzel? ... roast targ toss-cooked with broccoli? ...
uuuurrrr, I can never make up my mind at these Klingon buffets!"

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MARTOK (on comm): "What is it Sisko?"

SISKO: "Sorry to bother you General, I need just a moment of your time. By the way, do you mind if I smoke?"



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JADZIA DAX (on comm): "Defiant to station, we'll take one extra sweet Kahless Kisser with a shot of blood wine ... two diet Andorian Icers... a Sirella Slammer, super-nova size that one ... and a Growling Gowron, hold the gagh sprinkles"

Quark opens the sector's first fly-through Raktajino stand

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MAN ON FIRE: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!"

somewhere, Walter Koenig is smiling

 

[Smellincoffee]

The alpha-testing for Katniss and Peeta's costumes had its problems.

Sisko: Picard had a yacht, why not me?

Dax, OS: Like a doctor used to tell me on Earth -- bourbon and beans, an explosive combination.

O'Brien: You said you've been working on this?
Junior engineer, background: Four hours of troubleshooting. I even rebuilt it from scratch, chief! I just can't understand it.
O'Brien: One of the batteries is upside down.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Plan B: forget organ replacements. Replicate the morphing qualities of shapeshifters and market it as a toy called "O-Doh!"

 

[kirkfan]

Miles: Quark! My order has maggots crawling out of it!

Sisko: My name is Sisko and I am a badass!

Miles: I think that shrinking experiment has gone a little too far, I just found the defiant in my coffee!!!

Worf: I said NO OPEN FLAMES ON THE DEFIANT!!! Wait till I find the one responsible!

Miles (with Picard's voice): There are three lights!

Sisko: That's good! Now, do your Locutus impression!

Julian: I told you miles that I wasn't drunk. I can poor the liquid of this cup into that one, without spilling a drop!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Quark's sudden surprise attempt to motorboat Kira, did not end well. The ears were the first to go up.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

For their wedding anniversary, Miles tried to prove to Keiko that he's still hot for her.

 

[Leviathan]

COMPUTER VOICE: 'Smoking is not permitted on this deck'

 

[tharpdevenport]

Okay, here's today's fill of totally obscure online reference:

Sing along! U.S.S. Toyota! It's getting hot! Hot! Hot!

Hot! Hot! Hot!

 

[Smellincoffee]

O'Brien: I SWEAR I hear this thing ticking. And it's speeding up.

Sisko to O'Brien, we just had a voice counting down in Cardassian. Is there a problem?

O'Brien: CLIMATE CONTROL NEEDS ADJUSTING!

Bashir: Why do I keep having to suppress an urge to laugh manically?

 

[kirkfan]

Picard sent me this French Camembert but it has maggots coming out if it and he says it's normal!!!

Sisko (thinking): "I really need to pee!! How long will this meeting goona last?"

To think they told me this was a non-smoking area.

This coffee is so strong, if you can drink a whole cup of it, you'll never sleep again!

 

[Smellincoffee]

24 hour warning!

Next week's theme has been inspired by the song, "The Madness of King Scar". I'd do a Spock tribute, but as close as we get in DS9 are the Romulans..

I am perfectly fine!
I'm better than Mufasa was
I'm revered!
I am reviled
I'm IDOLIZED!
I am despised
I'm keeping calm
I'M GOING WILD!

I tell myself I'm fine
Yes I am, no you're not
Yes I am, no you're not
I tell myself I'm fine

No you're not, yes I am, no you're not
Yes I am
No you're not
Yes, no, yes, no, WHO AM I TALKING TO?