Door-to-door Jesus Freaks

[farmkid]

Little point: I don't think they care. Their religion require them to spread the word, so they do. It's not about saving other's souls, it's about managing their own.

Well, you're wrong there. For most, it really is about saving souls, not just a duty. Sorry, but religious duty is not enough of a motivating factor

Then what it is? Love and generosity to give people something they don't want? They do it because it makes them feel good about themselves. Why would they do it otherwise, since it's pretty obvious most people don't care or are downright annoyed by their intrusion?

For most, it is love--love of God and love of others. And yes, they realize that most don't want to hear it, and they aren't looking for them. They are looking for those who are interested. That's why, in most cases, a polite "no thank you" will send them on their way. It's usually obvious pretty quickly who is interested and who isn't, and it's not worth their time to keep bugging someone who isn't interested. They really are trying not to annoy anyone; that's why they are so polite.

The numbers for a given missionary vary a lot depending on the area, of course. In mainland Europe, for example, a missionary might only teach 1 or 2 converts in their whole two years, while someone in South America might teach 20 in a month.

Well, I'm not surprised to hear that it's easier to convert wretched poor people when you put a loaf of bread or a much-needed medicine under their nose.

Food and medicine don't have anything to do with it. Sure, my church does a lot of humanitarian work, but that is completely separate from spreading the Gospel. Poor people are generally more humble and willing to listen. More affluent people usually believe they already know all the answers and don't usually want to hear anything else. They are also often so busy with their own lives that they never stop to ponder things of a spiritual nature.

 

[Amaris]

The best churches give to help, and let their actions speak louder than any words.
I'm always wary of churches or Christian organizations that boast things like "A million souls saved!" as if they're a McDonalds for Jesus.

 

[Withers]

For most, it is love--love of God and love of others.

And what is it for the rest of them?

-Withers-​

 

[SeerSGB]

I nicked something, short something, I have no clue cause something discharged into my arm and knocked me flat from the shock. I was on the gravel lot, gasping to breath, clawing at my chest cause my heart felt like it was on fire and pounding so hard that it hurt. The fucker looks down at me and say "See, that's God telling you to attend our church." He left me on the gravel for the whole 15 minutes or so it took to get my wits; the whole time giving me a sermon and trying to get me to accept Jesus, didn't call 911 or anything. Thankfully I had a cell on me and managed to stumble back into the car to call someone to come out and help me.

One would think that in such a situation anyone would try to help you, regardless of religious differences. What an ass. This could have ended very badly for you, people die of electric shocks everyday.

From people I know that attend his church, he's pretty much a dick all the time. A lot of it is church politics-- which I really don't give a shit about, some of it is, as one person put, "he's just the type of guy that gives Christians a bad name and Jesus would want to punch".

 

[chardman]

I save the literature they bring, then when the next group shows up, and they try to push their literature on me, I counter by trying to push another groups tracts of on them instead. Also, I sometime run off a dozen or so "special" tracts at my local Kinkos (Church of the Sub-Genius, Campus Crusade for Chuthlu, etc) to give to the door to door Jesus peddlers.

My favorite story happened almost 20 years ago, when some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door of some neo-pagan friends of mine, who had just returned from an SCA event, and were looking over their various purchases. One guy was sharpening a sword he'd just purchased, and the women were trying on various bits of garb they'd bought, and were therefore in a state of semi-undress. So my friend who answers the door, sees the an opportunity for fun, and rather than turning these witnesses away, instead invites them in. They enter, spot the huge pentacle over the fireplace, and the altar, and the semi-clad women, and they guy sharpening a wicked looking weapon, and if all that weren't off-putting enough, my buddy then says to the guy with the sword, in a loud stage-whisper "Hey Marty, I think we found the sacrafice."

He tells me that they didn't even bother to turn around. They just stopped, and back-peddled out the door as fast as they could.

 

[USS Triumphant]

If I take the time to actually have a conversation with people proselytizing, I will generally take the opportunity to spread the message of Surak. I've even seem to have done some good that way. I have known converts.

Food and medicine don't have anything to do with it.

I think iguana_tonante may be referring to the fact that, amongst Catholic missionaries, at least, it is known methodology to use possession of food, medicine, advanced technology, and "the good life" in general as proof that G_d takes care of His own. Not that I'm completely cynical about that - maybe the missionaries sincerely believe that, too.

 

[gturner]

Well, protestant missionaries have made pretty good inroads in South America because of some Catholic baggage down there, where as somene advances financially they pick up extra monetary burdens. I think it might be in part an Indian thing, but the result is that people stay locked in poverty under what is called a cargo system.

Protestants came in with a different system, allowing converts to keep their extra money, and these converts started flashing their new wealth and saying that Jesus really wants them to be rich.

But as for the complaints, Christian missionaries are just a slight and occassional annoyance. If Islamists were going door to door you would need a sword at hand, and they're not even as bad as Aztec missionaries.

 

[sojourner]

I always try to subvert they're faith. The following is my favorite:

Me: So, God is our father in heaven right?
them: yes, of course, basically!
me: And a father loves his children?
them: that goes without saying, indeed!
me: As a father, which child would you be more proud of? the one who is constantly praising you, asking for help, and "doing things in your name" or the child who goes off and succeeds on his own, making his own life and not wasting the precious time in his mortal life worshiping you?
them:......

 

[DonIago]

^Funny, this is why I thought Prince Caspian sent very mixed messages...

 

[Tiberius Jim]

We don't get them often, but my neighborhood has had its share of Mormons coming door to door. We have a No Soliciting sign that people love to ignore, so we usually just ignore the door bell until they go away. I did once answer for what I presume was a Jehovah's Witness who wouldn't take "no answer" for an answer and rang the door bell about twice every minute for 4-5 minutes. I simply opened the door, said "No thank you" and closed it. He finally got the hint.

I actually have family who are Mormon; my aunt married into it. They've never been pushy or overbearing about their religion or have tried to convert us. They're actually one of the more functional branches of the family.

What I don't get is the secrecy of certain Mormon events, specifically weddings. My grandmother could not go to her own daughter's wedding ceremony, because they don't allow non-Mormons to attend. I couldn't believe that. What is the purpose of excluding people like that, especially from an event like your child's wedding? Also, how do they enforce that rule...are all Mormon's micro chipped at birth or baptism, or do they all know the secret handshake? I just don't get that at all, and would really be interested in having that answered.

 

[Wicca who Wonta]

My brother is a devout Mormon and he spent two years in England on a mission spreading the religion. He was cut off from everyone and everything not mormon during those two years. We were allowed to send him letters but we couldn't talk with him on the phone except for on christmas eve. We were not allowed to visit him and he wasn't allowed to go home to visit us. The letters had to be sent to a special adress that would forward the letters to him so we were not allowed to know his actual address, only which city he was in at the time. He could not watch movies, tv or read books, except for the bible and the mormon scriptures. He was not allowed to be alone except for when he went to the toilet because he and his partner were supposed to make sure the other didn't break the rules. If they did break the rules they were supposed to report it to the mission. It's not strange the mormon missionaries go Jesus crazy under these circumstances...

 

[John Picard]

I really don't understand a lot of the hatred towards these people. If you don't want anyone to come to your door, just put a No Trespassing sign on your property, don't answer your door, or just say "no thank you" and quickly shut your door.

It has been my experience, and the experience of other I've known over the years, that the religious types feel those signs don't apply to them and ignore such signage.

Part of living in countries with freedom of speech and religion is coming into contact with someone whose speech or religion seems abnormal or repellent to you. If you can't handle that, then defect to North Korea.

Ah yes, the "Freedom of Speech" argument, which has been twisted over the years from the intentions of the Framers.
In their days, political dissenters were jailed for speaking their minds, so it applies to the Government. It does not mean that someone can trespass on the property of others and start yammering.

 

[farmkid]

What I don't get is the secrecy of certain Mormon events, specifically weddings. My grandmother could not go to her own daughter's wedding ceremony, because they don't allow non-Mormons to attend. I couldn't believe that. What is the purpose of excluding people like that, especially from an event like your child's wedding? Also, how do they enforce that rule...are all Mormon's micro chipped at birth or baptism, or do they all know the secret handshake? I just don't get that at all, and would really be interested in having that answered.

It's not the wedding she was excluded from, it was entering the temple. Only members of the church in good standing are allowed to enter the temple because of the sacred nature of the place and what goes on in there. The wedding was done in the temple because weddings there are "for time and all eternity", rather than "till death do you part". Anyone can attend Mormon weddings outside of the temple (which are also "till death do you part".) If you want to know more about temples...

My brother is a devout Mormon and he spent two years in England on a mission spreading the religion. He was cut off from everyone and everything not mormon during those two years.

Well, not quite everything non-Mormon. After all, he spend all day every day talking to people who aren't Mormon.

We were allowed to send him letters but we couldn't talk with him on the phone except for on christmas eve. We were not allowed to visit him and he wasn't allowed to go home to visit us.

Christmas and Mother's Day, actually.

The letters had to be sent to a special adress that would forward the letters to him so we were not allowed to know his actual address, only which city he was in at the time.

That's for logistical reasons, nothing sinister as you seem to imply. He would be moved to a new area every few months, usually with only a day or two of notice. That results in misdirected mail when those transfers happen. It's much simpler and works smoother if all mail is sent to a central location and then forwarded to wherever he is. In some countries where mail service is unreliable, the church operates a pouch mail system, where all the missionaries' mail is sent to an address in Salt Lake City, then sent in a bundle and distributed by missionaries in the area.

He could not watch movies, tv or read books, except for the bible and the mormon scriptures. He was not allowed to be alone except for when he went to the toilet because he and his partner were supposed to make sure the other didn't break the rules. If they did break the rules they were supposed to report it to the mission. It's not strange the mormon missionaries go Jesus crazy under these circumstances...

That rule is more for protection than anything else. There have been several cases of missionaries being falsely accused of various things (or sometimes getting into trouble) when alone. That's bad for the missionary and for the church. If the missionary is constantly with his/her companion, it greatly reduces the chance of something like that happening.

 

[Kestra]

I kept in constant contact with a Mormon friend during his mission. It was through letters, since he was in Hong Kong, but it was actually nice to write and receive letters.

 

[UncleRogi]

Well, I realize they annoy quite a few people, but the well intentioned and polite ones I don't hold any grudge against. The two young men who visited us a few years back were of the Mormon variety, and so they asked to come inside and I nodded and let them in. I offered them lemonade (no caffeine). They gladly accepted. We talked for a while, and I got to know these young men. One of them was studying to be a Biologist. The other wanted to be a folk singer. I got out my guitar and let him play a few songs. He was quite good. After about two hours, I had learned a great deal about them, and I understood why they were doing what they were doing and bless their hearts they lived in a single room with two beds, the very basics, and every morning like clockwork they were up and out the door, and I had to admire the level of dedication they had. I certainly wasn't going to accept their beliefs as my own, but I couldn't help but admire their effort, and not once were they impolite. I think, even though I'm sure they left disappointed that I wasn't going to convert, they seemed to have had a good time.

From time to time I wonder about them and hope they were able to get started on their goals in life.

I've never had trouble with the Latter Day Saint folk myself, and they seem more than willing to say "Good Day" if such is your inclination.

The ones that are fun to persecute are the Jehovah's Witness people. ESPECIALLY the ardent ones! Now please, don't get me wrong, I have good friends that are Witnesses,and respect their way of worship. Most will just move on to the next door if you take their tract and say "Thank you, no." It's the ones that put the proverbial foot in the door and WILL NOT LET YOU GO UNTIL THEY HAVE THEIR SAY!!
A pair of these caught me a Sunday after a binge, and I proceeded to stalk them through the neighborhood--running through yards, around blocks, to just show up behind them.

They never visited me again. Can't figure why....

 

[Wicca who Wonta]

farmkid, although I don't understand the need for the excessive rules for mormon missionaries I wasn't implying that anything sinister was going on. But the church do go out of their way to make sure that the missionaries think of nothing but religion. My point is that being on a mission is a very special situation, my brother is responsible for the missionaries in his branch and he says that he has to talk to them sometimes because they forget that ordinary people have other things in their lives than religion. He says he was the same way when he was on his mission. It's a biproduct of the way they live when obeying the rules I talked about before. I think that lifestyle explains the way they behave when they go door-to-door and why some people get annoyed at them.

I wasn't trying to disrespect you or your religion. I don't necessarily understand why they are willing to give up 2 years of their lives for the church but I respect that they are doing it for something they believe in.

 

[Trekker4747]

We don't get them often, but my neighborhood has had its share of Mormons coming door to door. We have a No Soliciting sign that people love to ignore, so we usually just ignore the door bell until they go away. I did once answer for what I presume was a Jehovah's Witness who wouldn't take "no answer" for an answer and rang the door bell about twice every minute for 4-5 minutes. I simply opened the door, said "No thank you" and closed it. He finally got the hint.

I actually have family who are Mormon; my aunt married into it. They've never been pushy or overbearing about their religion or have tried to convert us. They're actually one of the more functional branches of the family.

What I don't get is the secrecy of certain Mormon events, specifically weddings. My grandmother could not go to her own daughter's wedding ceremony, because they don't allow non-Mormons to attend. I couldn't believe that. What is the purpose of excluding people like that, especially from an event like your child's wedding? Also, how do they enforce that rule...are all Mormon's micro chipped at birth or baptism, or do they all know the secret handshake? I just don't get that at all, and would really be interested in having that answered.

She was getting married in Temple, which only Mormons can enter, I'm not sure how they "track" and ensure that, maybe you have to have a special card or something?

Anyway, my best friend is Mormon and he has never tried to convert me or anything. From time-to-time I'll ask him a question about it and I've visited his church and participlated in a couple of his church functions and no one there has ever tried to convert me or anything.

His brother got married a couple of years ago and they actualy had two ceremonines. One in Temple and one in a regular wedding chapel/whatever that outsiders could attend.

 

[Captain Ice]

Best solution I've seen is this...

1. Obtain a few pamphlets from a couple of the different missionaries.
2. Scatter said pamphlets on your front porch.
3. Add a chalk outline of a body.
4. Scatter a few spent .22 shells.
5. Add a sign on the door that says something like "I told you I didn't want to hear about your religion" or "Religious zealots will be shot on sight".

They'll leave you alone for years.

 

[Goji]

My friends and I got stopped in the park today by some odd people who spoke Japanese fluently but claimed to be from Korea, and who passed out very odd pamphlets (completely in Japanese) that seemed to be advertising a religion of some sort. They kept talking about how Mt. Fuji gives off special energy and life force, then offered to take us somewhere. We were all beginning to suspect that we were seconds away from being abducted, brainwashed and indoctrinated in some kind of weird new age cult, so we got out of there quick.

It was bizarre and kind of creepy, but in a way a refreshing change of pace from the usual religious nuttery I get subjected to.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

I few years ago I witnessed this old lady going over the top with a guy I knew saying the he should embrace Jesus because "Jesus is crystal clear, Jesus is great, and Jesus is laser."

Laser.

Sounds like someone is proselytizing via Mad Libs.
"Jesus is____(random noun)___. Jesus is ___(random adjective)___."

Looking on... she sings a song.

The words she knows, the tune she hums.

Yay! I've been waiting to see if anybody would get that.