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Door-to-door Jesus Freaks

I always find the best way to deal with them is never answer your door. No one visits me anyway so if someone comes a knockin I know they are up to no good.:klingon:
 
So they're Mormons? Those are the worst. ;)

In my experience they're the BEST of the lot! Who are you comparing them to?

Pro Tip: Mormons will gladly talk with you about anything other than their religion. Try it! Then, when you say you're not interested in their religion, they leave you alone.

Did you ever try asking? I've yet to meet a Mormon who pushed after saying 'no thank you.' And I've met several.
 
I really want to see statistics on how many people they actually manage to convert.
Little point: I don't think they care. Their religion require them to spread the word, so they do. It's not about saving other's souls, it's about managing their own.
 
Last time they made the recruiting rounds, they showed up while I was greasing the rear-end and flushing the car's transmission. Nice white shirts....:devil:

I was real friendly, shaking hands, patting them on the back, opening their car's door for them.

:guffaw::guffaw: Dude, seriously -- I want to party with you. Especially if you're a fellow gearhead. Want to work on some classic VWs with me?
 
We had a couple of old gits at the door this morning, with leaflets covered in "JESUS" in large boring letters, and saying "we have an invitation-"

Very unusual, cos they didn't seem to be Jehovah's Witnesses, just some random new Bible-bashers.

Told them "No. Fuck off," obviously.

(Well, not literally "fuck off" - said that in the kitchen after they'd gone)
 
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Well, I realize they annoy quite a few people, but the well intentioned and polite ones I don't hold any grudge against. The two young men who visited us a few years back were of the Mormon variety, and so they asked to come inside and I nodded and let them in. I offered them lemonade (no caffeine). They gladly accepted. We talked for a while, and I got to know these young men. One of them was studying to be a Biologist. The other wanted to be a folk singer. I got out my guitar and let him play a few songs. He was quite good. After about two hours, I had learned a great deal about them, and I understood why they were doing what they were doing and bless their hearts they lived in a single room with two beds, the very basics, and every morning like clockwork they were up and out the door, and I had to admire the level of dedication they had. I certainly wasn't going to accept their beliefs as my own, but I couldn't help but admire their effort, and not once were they impolite. I think, even though I'm sure they left disappointed that I wasn't going to convert, they seemed to have had a good time.

From time to time I wonder about them and hope they were able to get started on their goals in life.
It's good to hear you were nice to them. I think I remember you mentioning it at the time. I spent 2 years in England doing as a missionary, and it amuses me to hear of all the stories people are telling here. I experienced pretty much every story told here, or at least a variation of it. I really appreciated it when I would meet someone like you with whom I could have a nice conversation, whether they were interested or not. Such people were only a small portion of those I met, but it was nice when it did happen.

Here's a breakdown of the kind of people one meets going door to door: A few are like you--willing to have a nice conversation and learn about each other's beliefs, but not interested in actually converting.. Most politely say "no, thank you", or I'm not interested" and it's over in a few seconds with no one's time wasted. A few others are actually interested in learning more and perhaps converting. And then there's the small group who is the most entertaining--those who come up with stories like those told here. You might think that missionaries are offended by such antics, and some certainly are, but most have seen it all before and it becomes something of a game to collect the most outrageous stories. I still have my favorites that I tell when the topic comes up in conversation, though I have forgotten most by now.

BTW, missionaries (at least Mormon ones), don't spend much time knocking on doors. It's about the least effective thing they can do, so it's what they do when they don't have anyone to teach or visit. It's mostly a waste of time, but it's better than doing nothing. Axiom, you mentioned a little about their schedule and the way they live. You're right, most missionaries live in a small apartment or they live in a room with some members in the area. They work long hours (typically about 70 hours/week). It's a rather demanding lifestyle which takes a lot of commitment to do. Oh, and most missionaries spend about $10,000 for the two years.
 
Last time they made the recruiting rounds, they showed up while I was greasing the rear-end and flushing the car's transmission. Nice white shirts....:devil:

I was real friendly, shaking hands, patting them on the back, opening their car's door for them.

:guffaw::guffaw: Dude, seriously -- I want to party with you. Especially if you're a fellow gearhead. Want to work on some classic VWs with me?
Wouldn't have so "friendly" had they not been from the church up the road* and one of them hadn't kicked me hard in the leg as I was under the car to get my attention.

* -- I loath that church. My old [used] '91 Grand Am developed a problem in the ignition system-- distributor packs and CSP sensor both went bad. The car stalled on the way home from work one afternoon, and I managed to coast into the church's lot-- no biggie it was a Tuesday and they weren't having services. So I'm poking under the hood, telling the [not so] "helpful" minister that I wasn't interested in attending, that if I attended I'd go to my family's church a couple counties over-- trying to be polite, trying not to tell the guy to fuck off. I nicked something, short something, I have no clue cause something discharged into my arm and knocked me flat from the shock. I was on the gravel lot, gasping to breath, clawing at my chest cause my heart felt like it was on fire and pounding so hard that it hurt. The fucker looks down at me and say "See, that's God telling you to attend our church." He left me on the gravel for the whole 15 minutes or so it took to get my wits; the whole time giving me a sermon and trying to get me to accept Jesus, didn't call 911 or anything. Thankfully I had a cell on me and managed to stumble back into the car to call someone to come out and help me.
 
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I really want to see statistics on how many people they actually manage to convert.
Little point: I don't think they care. Their religion require them to spread the word, so they do. It's not about saving other's souls, it's about managing their own.
Well, you're wrong there. For most, it really is about saving souls, not just a duty. Sorry, but religious duty is not enough of a motivating factor to get all that many young people to leave everyone they know, put their lives on hold for two years, and spend lots of their own money to go work 70 hours a week trying to teach the Gospel to people who (for the most part, anyway) don't want to hear it.

Statistics are kept, but those numbers aren't the motivating factor. I don't know the numbers for other churches, but for Mormons, there are about 50,000 full time missionaries around the world, and they baptize about 300,000 people per year. The numbers for a given missionary vary a lot depending on the area, of course. In mainland Europe, for example, a missionary might only teach 1 or 2 converts in their whole two years, while someone in South America might teach 20 in a month.
 
Well, I realize they annoy quite a few people, but the well intentioned and polite ones I don't hold any grudge against. The two young men who visited us a few years back were of the Mormon variety, and so they asked to come inside and I nodded and let them in. I offered them lemonade (no caffeine). They gladly accepted. We talked for a while, and I got to know these young men. One of them was studying to be a Biologist. The other wanted to be a folk singer. I got out my guitar and let him play a few songs. He was quite good. After about two hours, I had learned a great deal about them, and I understood why they were doing what they were doing and bless their hearts they lived in a single room with two beds, the very basics, and every morning like clockwork they were up and out the door, and I had to admire the level of dedication they had. I certainly wasn't going to accept their beliefs as my own, but I couldn't help but admire their effort, and not once were they impolite. I think, even though I'm sure they left disappointed that I wasn't going to convert, they seemed to have had a good time.

From time to time I wonder about them and hope they were able to get started on their goals in life.
It's good to hear you were nice to them. I think I remember you mentioning it at the time. I spent 2 years in England doing as a missionary, and it amuses me to hear of all the stories people are telling here. I experienced pretty much every story told here, or at least a variation of it. I really appreciated it when I would meet someone like you with whom I could have a nice conversation, whether they were interested or not. Such people were only a small portion of those I met, but it was nice when it did happen.

Here's a breakdown of the kind of people one meets going door to door: A few are like you--willing to have a nice conversation and learn about each other's beliefs, but not interested in actually converting.. Most politely say "no, thank you", or I'm not interested" and it's over in a few seconds with no one's time wasted. A few others are actually interested in learning more and perhaps converting. And then there's the small group who is the most entertaining--those who come up with stories like those told here. You might think that missionaries are offended by such antics, and some certainly are, but most have seen it all before and it becomes something of a game to collect the most outrageous stories. I still have my favorites that I tell when the topic comes up in conversation, though I have forgotten most by now.

BTW, missionaries (at least Mormon ones), don't spend much time knocking on doors. It's about the least effective thing they can do, so it's what they do when they don't have anyone to teach or visit. It's mostly a waste of time, but it's better than doing nothing. Axiom, you mentioned a little about their schedule and the way they live. You're right, most missionaries live in a small apartment or they live in a room with some members in the area. They work long hours (typically about 70 hours/week). It's a rather demanding lifestyle which takes a lot of commitment to do. Oh, and most missionaries spend about $10,000 for the two years.

Ironically enough, I had studied a little about Mormonism a few days prior, and had learned about abstaining from caffeine, so when they did show up, I knew that the lemonade I had in a pitcher (I love lemonade) would be caffeine free. One of the boys even commented that it was quite good. :D
 
I had a few jesus-"freaks" come by the other day. Before I used to take a moment and think of something fun to say for a second or two before opening the door, but I always ended up politely just saying I was not interested simply because they seemed like nice and polite people. This was what happened this time too.

Living in Sweden, a very non-believing nation, I guess the door-to-door-people know that it's probably in their own best interest to be very polite and not try to force the issue since most people won't be at all susceptible anyway. And when they are polite I will be too.

Actually the thought of this brief encounter hit me again today when I was watching a documentary about North Korea. I was thinking about how it would be like to interact with a North Korean who has been indoctrinated to think that he or she lives in a great place that is much better than anywhere else, which obviously is far from the truth. I don't think I'd even try to prove them wrong in anyway since it would probably only make the situation worse for the other person while not affecting myself in the least. Sure it would be nice to defend my position and to prove them wrong, but at the same time I would have nothing to gain of it myself.
Then it hit me that this is in some small way parallell to how I feel about religion and religious door knockers. I know that they feel that they are superior and that this is why I get an impulse to "defend my honor" by trying to figure out something clever and funny to tell them, but then in the end end up not doing it because I sort of feel bad for them for living in a indoctrinated and (from my perspective) sad delusion.
 
Most Christians even make fun of these people. They're usually promoting some weird form of Christianity based on some "prophet" from the late 1800's or something equally ridiculous.
 
Little point: I don't think they care. Their religion require them to spread the word, so they do. It's not about saving other's souls, it's about managing their own.
Well, you're wrong there. For most, it really is about saving souls, not just a duty. Sorry, but religious duty is not enough of a motivating factor
Then what it is? Love and generosity to give people something they don't want? They do it because it makes them feel good about themselves. Why would they do it otherwise, since it's pretty obvious most people don't care or are downright annoyed by their intrusion?

The numbers for a given missionary vary a lot depending on the area, of course. In mainland Europe, for example, a missionary might only teach 1 or 2 converts in their whole two years, while someone in South America might teach 20 in a month.
Well, I'm not surprised to hear that it's easier to convert wretched poor people when you put a loaf of bread or a much-needed medicine under their nose.
 
I really don't understand a lot of the hatred towards these people. If you don't want anyone to come to your door, just put a No Trespassing sign on your property, don't answer your door, or just say "no thank you" and quickly shut your door. Part of living in countries with freedom of speech and religion is coming into contact with someone whose speech or religion seems abnormal or repellent to you. If you can't handle that, then defect to North Korea.
 
:lol:

It's not hate. Just annoyance. I guess you never complain about the rain, either. If you can't handle that, you should move to the Moon.
 
I nicked something, short something, I have no clue cause something discharged into my arm and knocked me flat from the shock. I was on the gravel lot, gasping to breath, clawing at my chest cause my heart felt like it was on fire and pounding so hard that it hurt. The fucker looks down at me and say "See, that's God telling you to attend our church." He left me on the gravel for the whole 15 minutes or so it took to get my wits; the whole time giving me a sermon and trying to get me to accept Jesus, didn't call 911 or anything. Thankfully I had a cell on me and managed to stumble back into the car to call someone to come out and help me.

:eek: One would think that in such a situation anyone would try to help you, regardless of religious differences. What an ass. This could have ended very badly for you, people die of electric shocks everyday.
 
There's a difference between coming into contact with someone of a different religion, and those people coming purposefully into contact with you to push it.
 
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