Mileage will vary is true. I'm different in that I get pulled out of the story by the differences.I think that grossly oversimplifies some people's positions. For me, the story and characters are the most important part. The interconnectivity is something I enjoy, and in fact make various "head canon" (to borrow to popular turn of phrase) to make it all exist as one continuity. To me that is part of the fun is finding creative solutions for apparent discontinuity. It isn't that it isn't important; it's that it takes a second-tier importance to if the characters are enjoyable.
I dismiss nostalgia just because it's meant as a "feel good moment." Which is fine but does it add to the story will be my first question? And if not then I'm less inclined to give it a pass, because it feels like it is pandering to a specific emotional part of me, and I do not find pandering endearing.
Mileage will vary as to how people rate such things.
When a character says or does something that conflicts, or an event occurs where it doesn't fit, as a fan that watched the other shows, I see that as bad storytelling. I don't want to have to do headcannon to rationalize how things fit together in what I'm watching, because I feel the writers and everyone producing the show should have done that in the first place when they were developing the story. I feel like good storytelling within a fictional universe builds on what's come before, instead of dropping something different in the audience's lap, without much explanation, and expects the viewers that care about the details of that fictional universe not to care.
Like you wrote, mileage will vary, and I totally get the other side that likes the ambiguity and freedom to imagine that different variations bring. But it doesn't work for me in a lot of the situations we've seen in the franchise.