The difference is O'Brien tried to deal with his bigotry (at least outwardly) after Keiko called him out. Rugal's adoptive parents made no such effort.
Bajar had literally been occupied by space NAZIs under a year before.
They had suffered through genocide and slavery.
I would give bajorans a break if they were anti spoon head for a few years. Especially as Cardassia was still under fascist rule.
It's like NazI Germany surviving WW2 as a political entity and then expecting Israel to play nice with it and not be mean to the Germans.
If Cardassians didn't want to be insulted and discriminated against them they should change their evil government.
And Kieko was a arse for putting pressure on her husband who clearly had residual trauma from the border wars.
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