Cupid Escrow Service - aka Holdfast Matchmaking Inc.

[Kestra]

Sex is very much a separate entity for me, one that can be experienced with anyone and then walk away from with no subsequent baggage

I guess I will never understand how people can do this. I know, I've got some nerve saying that, since I'm a virgin and thus could not possibly know what it's like, but I can't even conceive of the concept of separating sex and love/romance. This is not an insult against those who can, of course. It's just proof that my mind is wired in a very alien fashion, I suppose.

I don't know if I would be happier if I could separate the two. Maybe I would be. But I'm too old to change now.

Everyone should keep an open mind, but also be aware of their own preferences or limitations. Do what is right for you.

 

[RAMA]

It's a very guy thing to seperate sex and love with ease, shit men can even seperate sex and like! Women tend to attach sex to love and all that crap...biological thing.

I dunno, I've heard plenty of women on this very board say that they can and do have sex with people they don't love (or even know), just like the guys can.

Of course this isn't a blanket statement...

Although this is: "Don't hog the blanket."

I think you're a guy right?

Yep.

So you're a virgin huh! Good for you! May I probe you about it...? And by probe I mean ask a few questions?

Ordinarily I'd say no, but what the hell, I brought it up. Basically it's a combination of these factors:

- I don't have a GF at this time
- Contraception is not 100% effective
- I'm a prude.

I'm being serious here when I ask....have you ever sought professional help over your extreme prudishness? Honestly, there may be some sort of issue in your past that needs looking at.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I'm being serious here when I ask....have you ever sought professional help over your extreme prudishness? Honestly, there may be some sort of issue in your past that needs looking at.

No, and no. Why, am I suddenly insane now?

. But if you do really want to meet somebody, that right girl then you have to put yourself out there.

True dat.

*pause*

So, do you like baseball?

(feel free to ignore anything i say that you don't want to answer - lord knows everybody else does LOL)

naw, that's okay. You haven't asked anything that I didn't bring up in the first place.

And about your first question: Yeah, I 'notify the moderator' (that's what we call it around here ). Everybody does. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[RAMA]

I'm being serious here when I ask....have you ever sought professional help over your extreme prudishness? Honestly, there may be some sort of issue in your past that needs looking at.

No, and no. Why, am I suddenly insane now?

. But if you do really want to meet somebody, that right girl then you have to put yourself out there.

True dat.

*pause*

So, do you like baseball?

(feel free to ignore anything i say that you don't want to answer - lord knows everybody else does LOL)

naw, that's okay. You haven't asked anything that I didn't bring up in the first place.

And about your first question: Yeah, I 'notify the moderator' (that's what we call it around here ). Everybody does. Nothing wrong with that.

Wait a second here...seeking professional help does not mean you are insane...in fact it probably means you have a healthy view of a "problem".

Extreme personality traits could mean you have a mental block to get past. Humans are very sexual in general as a species, so it is unusual not to exercise this aspect of being human. Its also probably not healthy in the long run.

RAMA

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Wait a second here...seeking professional help does not mean you are insane...in fact it probably means you have a healthy view of a "problem".

I don't see it as a problem. Not one requiring mental help, anyway. So I want to fall in love and get married before I have sex...why is that 'extreme'?

 

[Cakes488]

^ No you're not insane at all but Rama does bring up a point...maybe there is an underlying reason. It's a possiblitly...not a probability. Baseball is my favorite sport to watch. I'm also decent on the field...but I like the Shmets...you obviously are a Skankee fan -- I can't stand you people sometimes!!!!!!

LOL notify the moderator...hell no there is nothing wrong with it...they also have some interesting products for sale as well....to lets say...enhance the self love experience. Oh yeah!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Baseball is my favorite sport to watch.

Reeeeeeeeeeealllllly....you have my attention!

I'm also decent on the field...but I like the Shmets...you obviously are a Skankee fan -- I can't stand you people sometimes!!!!!!

I actually like both the Yankees *and* the Mets.

so I take it you've been to Citi Field? It's awesome, isn't it? Much better than Shea.

 

[Cakes488]

Yeah I liked "that stadium".. I refuse to call it by name yet. I've boycotted refusing to buy tickets but I've managed to go 3 times now. But I sat in left field and I couldn't see right or center. What kind of shit is that?

 

[Gryffindorian]

Funny how these threads take a bizarre turn. Then again, this is the Misc Forum.

 

[RAMA]

Baseball is my favorite sport to watch.

Reeeeeeeeeeealllllly....you have my attention!

I'm also decent on the field...but I like the Shmets...you obviously are a Skankee fan -- I can't stand you people sometimes!!!!!!

I actually like both the Yankees *and* the Mets.

so I take it you've been to Citi Field? It's awesome, isn't it? Much better than Shea.

Can the Mets possibly sink lower? I'm a Yankee fan....6 in a row!

Isn't it odd that we were talking about sex and baseball is something used to not think about sex?

RAMA

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Isn't it odd that we were talking about sex and baseball is something used to not think about sex?

Nobody's made jokes about first, second or third base yet...

I know, a guy like me even knows what those terms mean. Shocking, innit?

 

[Daneel]

I am just tired of getting emotionally attached to someone who can never truly love me back. You can only take having that happen so many times before you start to be very cautious and conscious of your attractions.

I think I sort of know where you're coming from... My sister experienced something similar. She fell in love with one of her female friends, despite knowing full well that her friend was straight. She agonized over whether or not to tell her; I told her I didn't think it was a great idea -- it just seemed to me that a confession of love from a close friend of the gender you're not attracted to might create some awkwardness. But she told her anyway, and apparently it was okay in the end (after some crying and hugging), so what do I know? Either way, it seemed like an unpleasant situation, and I'm sorry to hear you've experienced it yourself.

And as for getting hit on by gay guys -- it's only happened to me once, but then again, I was in a gay bar, so it wasn't entirely unexpected. It certainly didn't bother me; in fact, I found it kind of flattering, as I so rarely seem to get noticed by anybody in that way. I could've done without getting felt up by the guy running the karaoke machine, though.

Gay guys in particular are awesome.

My cousin is gay and he happens to be one of the only people in my family to enjoys the same male specimens that I do so we gush about said celebrities/athletes.

Win win situation.

Ha! I have a similar relationship with my sister: she's one of the few people in my family with whom I compare notes about which celebrity women (or, on occasion, mutual acquaintances) we think are hot. It's kind of an atypical brother/sister relationship, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

 

[Vulcan Princess]

Wait a second here...seeking professional help does not mean you are insane...in fact it probably means you have a healthy view of a "problem".

I don't see it as a problem. Not one requiring mental help, anyway. So I want to fall in love and get married before I have sex...why is that 'extreme'?

I don't think it's extreme at all. I think that's romantic. Good for you!

 

[Gryffindorian]

I think you're being too hard on yourself, and you're such a cool guy. I can only speak for myself, but I waste no time pining for someone (male/female) who I know will never reciprocate my amorous feelings. Yes, the opposite might have been the case when I was younger and only dated young ladies, but not anymore.

This subject is not something that I am all that comfortable discussing and in an attempt to be vague, I seem to have been a little to much so. But to clarify... I am a very passionate and emotional person. I guess it is the artist in me. At times it can even overtake rational thought so I tend to bury them as a way of control. But I know the difference between infatuation, amorous stirrings and genuine spiritual/emotional attraction. Sex is very much a separate entity for me, one that can be experienced with anyone and then walk away from with no subsequent baggage. I can be almost frighteningly cold when need be. But when I do find an emotional or spiritual connection, I have a very hard time fighting it. I want to know this person, commune with them, protect them, cherish them and let them into a world I normally keep private. Even simple verbal exchanges can set my mind ablaze. So it is easier if I don't place myself into situations where I let myself fall into that emotional chasm.

I hope I didn't misunderstand you in any way. When I said you were too hard on yourself, I meant you were distancing yourself intentionally from said object of affection. In the past, whenever I liked a girl who didn't reciprocate, I just "settled for friendship," so to speak. It mattered to me that I was still able to see her or talk to her or hang out. Then again, looking back, I think it was pathetic that I even tried. So I'm certainly beginning to understand where you're coming from ... And as I stated earlier, I wouldn't want to waste my time on unrequited feelings, but the difference is that I don't try to avoid said person.

 

[jamestyler]

It has a lot to do with homophobia. Those guys threatened by being hit on by someone who is gay are probably afraid of being the object of jokes by other guys or looked down on by their friends. It's sad that many guys are so afraid of this that they become paranoid. Never underestimate the power of guys to be assholes too each other

I'd say that's partly true. I've had a few jabs but they stopped when they realised I'd just turn them into "I'm comfortable with my sexuality, how about you?" talks.

I think it just really pisses me off at times as most guys I know who do have the fear are wrestlers... our job is to get sweaty and touch each other wearing whats essentially our pants. It's amazing how many homophobic men have issues training with a woman but have no problem rolling around with a man.

It's no surprise the gay and bisexual guys I know in the business are cautious about who they come out to. Some are so far in the closet they may as well be in Narnia because of the attitude.

The same thing has happened to me quite a few times. Yes, yes yes....quite a few. I ask them flat out...you have a GF or whateva...and then the lies commence. WHY? Why waste both of our time? I'd like to hear the various motives from the men on this board...I know plenty of you are cheating.

Unhappiness or ego? I know I used to cheat out of a combination of both. I felt worthless after a long relationship ended and didn't feel good enough to 'settle' until I met my wife.

My cousin is gay and he happens to be one of the only people in my family to enjoys the same male specimens that I do so we gush about said celebrities/athletes.

Win win situation.

Speaking of the now ex Mrs T... that was one part of the relationship I enjoyed. We both had the same taste in women which made things a little more comfortable if my eyes were tempted to move towards an attractive woman. I knew her eyes were tempted too.

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin anyway. When I was 24 I actually went out with a guy just because of that.

I have a friend who would love to meet you

There are various answers to this question, the simplest is: its like climbing a mountain: you do it cause its there and because you can, plus lots of other people can't or won't.

Would you like to come to my gym? I ditched a gym partner due to his refusal to believe the goal should be to be as strong and as ripped as possible. He was a nightmare and became rude to everyone who dared entered who didn't, or had no desire to be, a bodybuilder.

 

[Cakes488]

Baseball is my favorite sport to watch.

Reeeeeeeeeeealllllly....you have my attention!

I'm also decent on the field...but I like the Shmets...you obviously are a Skankee fan -- I can't stand you people sometimes!!!!!!

I actually like both the Yankees *and* the Mets.

so I take it you've been to Citi Field? It's awesome, isn't it? Much better than Shea.

Can the Mets possibly sink lower? I'm a Yankee fan....6 in a row!

Isn't it odd that we were talking about sex and baseball is something used to not think about sex?

RAMA

Yes they can sink lower -- please check thier past seasons for proof of this.

The same thing has happened to me quite a few times. Yes, yes yes....quite a few. I ask them flat out...you have a GF or whateva...and then the lies commence. WHY? Why waste both of our time? I'd like to hear the various motives from the men on this board...I know plenty of you are cheating.

Unhappiness or ego? I know I used to cheat out of a combination of both. I felt worthless after a long relationship ended and didn't feel good enough to 'settle' until I met my wife.

Thank you for your feedback about this. But after the woman asked you directly if you were involoved already...did you lie to her face about it?
Would you lie to her about it even if you knew you weren't going to get into her pants that easily?

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin anyway. When I was 24 I actually went out with a guy just because of that.

I have a friend who would love to meet you

I'd like to edit my previous statement...that wasn't the ONLY reason I went out with this guy. He was really sweet, nice and very cute as well....but I'll admit the virgin thing did play a part.

 

[Holdfast]

I honestly don't know who is single or not and I've learned to avoid making any kind of advance until I know what the relationship status. I've had the worst luck with this. Hell, the last girl I took out to dinner I found out afterwards that she already had a boyfriend.

The same thing has happened to me quite a few times. Yes, yes yes....quite a few. I ask them flat out...you have a GF or whateva...and then the lies commence. WHY? Why waste both of our time? I'd like to hear the various motives from the men on this board...I know plenty of you are cheating.

I have the reverse problem - I tend to be attracted to attached girls. And funnily enough, they're often attracted back to me more than single girls seem to be (or, at least, I notice their interest more). The psychological reasons for all this are self-evident to me and so I generally exercise enough self-control to avoid it becoming an issue for them or me since I really don't want to be "that guy" who breaks up relationships. But still, I can't deny that once or twice, it's required a bit of fancy footwork...

(... and no, I don't mean legging it out of bedroom windows! )




FRESHEST LIST THIS SIDE OF HARVEST

Girls

An Officer
Ashu
auntiehill
Aurian
Bears Discover Fire
Braindeer
Cali
CommanderRaytas
Crusher Disciple
DAK
DangerMouse
flamingliberal
IceHoneyRose
indranee
Jadzia
Jenee
K'ehleyr
Kestra
kimc
Kirks_tights
kitkat
mimic
Nerys Ghemor
Niorah
PeachWookie
PKTrekGirl
ria75
Rosalind
Temis the Vorta
The Wife of Brian
thestrangequark
T'Bonz
Trippy

Guys

apenpaap
AdAstra
AstroSmurf
benny
BlazerBoy
Captain Ice
Capt_Piett
cardinal biggles
cooleddie
Daneel
Danoz
deafpoet
ElimParra
Emher
Flukie
Gary7
georgy
Holdfast
Hugo Rune
Huntingdon
J. Allen
JonathanWally
gwud
LavianoTS386
Locutus of Bored
Lupine
mcmac
Mr Laser Beam
Omnius
Philo
Plecostomus
Praetor
RJDiogenes
Ruaidhri
Squiggyfm
Starbreaker
Unicron
Venardhi
Zion Ravescene

 

[Cakes488]

I honestly don't know who is single or not and I've learned to avoid making any kind of advance until I know what the relationship status. I've had the worst luck with this. Hell, the last girl I took out to dinner I found out afterwards that she already had a boyfriend.

The same thing has happened to me quite a few times. Yes, yes yes....quite a few. I ask them flat out...you have a GF or whateva...and then the lies commence. WHY? Why waste both of our time? I'd like to hear the various motives from the men on this board...I know plenty of you are cheating.

I have the reverse problem - I tend to be attracted to attached girls. And funnily enough, they're often attracted back to me more than single girls seem to be (or, at least, I notice their interest more). The psychological reasons for all this are self-evident to me and so I generally exercise enough self-control to avoid it becoming an issue for them or me since I really don't want to be "that guy" who breaks up relationships. But still, I can't deny that once or twice, it's required a bit of fancy footwork...

(... and no, I don't mean legging it out of bedroom windows! )




FRESHEST LIST THIS SIDE OF HARVEST

Girls

An Officer
Ashu
auntiehill
Aurian
Bears Discover Fire
Braindeer
Cali
CommanderRaytas
Crusher Disciple
DAK
DangerMouse
flamingliberal
IceHoneyRose
indranee
Jadzia
Jenee
K'ehleyr
Kestra
kimc
Kirks_tights
kitkat
mimic
Nerys Ghemor
Niorah
PeachWookie
PKTrekGirl
ria75
Rosalind
Temis the Vorta
The Wife of Brian
thestrangequark
T'Bonz
Trippy

Guys

apenpaap
AdAstra
AstroSmurf
benny
BlazerBoy
Captain Ice
Capt_Piett
cardinal biggles
cooleddie
Daneel
Danoz
deafpoet
ElimParra
Emher
Flukie
Gary7
georgy
Holdfast
Hugo Rune
Huntingdon
J. Allen
JonathanWally
gwud
LavianoTS386
Locutus of Bored
Lupine
mcmac
Mr Laser Beam
Omnius
Philo
Plecostomus
Praetor
RJDiogenes
Ruaidhri
Squiggyfm
Starbreaker
Unicron
Venardhi
Zion Ravescene

Thank you for your input...and I've fixed the list now..

Girls

An Officer
Ashu
auntiehill
Aurian
Bears Discover Fire
Braindeer
Cakes488
Cali
CommanderRaytas
Crusher Disciple
DAK
DangerMouse
flamingliberal
IceHoneyRose
indranee
Jadzia
Jenee
K'ehleyr
Kestra
kimc
Kirks_tights
kitkat
mimic
Nerys Ghemor
Niorah
PeachWookie
PKTrekGirl
ria75
Rosalind
Temis the Vorta
The Wife of Brian
thestrangequark
T'Bonz
Trippy

Guys

apenpaap
AdAstra
AstroSmurf
benny
BlazerBoy
Captain Ice
Capt_Piett
cardinal biggles
cooleddie
Daneel
Danoz
deafpoet
ElimParra
Emher
Flukie
Gary7
georgy
Holdfast
Hugo Rune
Huntingdon
J. Allen
JonathanWally
gwud
LavianoTS386
Locutus of Bored
Lupine
mcmac
Mr Laser Beam
Omnius
Philo
Plecostomus
Praetor
RJDiogenes
Ruaidhri
Squiggyfm
Starbreaker
Unicron
Venardhi
Zion Ravescene

 

[Holdfast]

Post a revealing pic in the Picture Thread; I recommend plenty of decolletage. That generally works.

I mean, personally, I'd prefer a leg shot, but you have to play the percentages on this board so chest is best.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Do i smell a Holdfast Gambling thread?