Chivalry: It's dead, Jim.

[Kelthaz]

Wow, I'm pretty surprised by some of the cynical, self-centered comments going on here. I think a lot of you are missing the point of giving up a seat for a woman. I don't do it because I think they're weak or deserve comfort more than I do. I do it because it's called being a gentleman, and is the nice and polite thing to do. It's the same reason I wait for my girlfriend to sit down to dinner before I do, or open a door for her. I don't do it for personal gain or to imply anything about the person on the receiving end. I do it because sometimes it's nice to do something nice. Again, I guess I'm just traditional.

Do you ever give up your seat for guys?

 

[iguana_tonante]

Meh. Why must every thread about chivalry devolve in sexist remarks against women, or men, or every flavor in between? Isn't it contrary to the very definition of chivalry?

If you whine about chivalry, you are not chivalrous. Period.

 

[Amaris]

I would give up my seat to any elderly, pregnant or seriously ill person. Also, if I am traveling with someone, they get the seat if there is only one left. I also offer any man or woman my seat if he or she appears uncomfortable or tired.

J.

 

[Hoser]

I once gave up my seat for a woman and some twit took it instead. Almost kicked him.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Wow, I'm pretty surprised by some of the cynical, self-centered comments going on here. I think a lot of you are missing the point of giving up a seat for a woman. I don't do it because I think they're weak or deserve comfort more than I do. I do it because it's called being a gentleman, and is the nice and polite thing to do. It's the same reason I wait for my girlfriend to sit down to dinner before I do, or open a door for her. I don't do it for personal gain or to imply anything about the person on the receiving end. I do it because sometimes it's nice to do something nice. Again, I guess I'm just traditional.

Do you ever give up your seat for guys?

Older men, yes or if another guy is carrying a lot of stuff.

It's interesting how some of you can turn a simple polite gesture into something bad.

 

[Trekker4747]

Wow, I'm pretty surprised by some of the cynical, self-centered comments going on here. I think a lot of you are missing the point of giving up a seat for a woman. I don't do it because I think they're weak or deserve comfort more than I do. I do it because it's called being a gentleman, and is the nice and polite thing to do. It's the same reason I wait for my girlfriend to sit down to dinner before I do, or open a door for her. I don't do it for personal gain or to imply anything about the person on the receiving end. I do it because sometimes it's nice to do something nice. Again, I guess I'm just traditional.

Do you ever give up your seat for guys?

Older men, yes or if another guy is carrying a lot of stuff.

It's interesting how some of you can turn a simple polite gesture into something bad.

I guess the question is, why do you give up your seat for women and not men (aside from older men, or ones carrying a lot.)

What's so "special" about a woman that she can't stand?

 

[Ruaidhri]

Wow, I'm pretty surprised by some of the cynical, self-centered comments going on here. I think a lot of you are missing the point of giving up a seat for a woman. I don't do it because I think they're weak or deserve comfort more than I do. I do it because it's called being a gentleman, and is the nice and polite thing to do. It's the same reason I wait for my girlfriend to sit down to dinner before I do, or open a door for her. I don't do it for personal gain or to imply anything about the person on the receiving end. I do it because sometimes it's nice to do something nice. Again, I guess I'm just traditional.

My way of thinking is this: pretend people on the train/bus are members of your family. Would you let your mom or sister stand while you sit? I think if we all treated each other like family we'd all get along a hell of a lot better.

Part of me wonders if this attitude some of you have translates into dating life. Do you not do special things for your date, since she's *just* a woman, and is perfectly able bodied?

Oh my god. Every now and then when I've posted pictures of myself sporting a goatee I get comments that I resemble you, Flux. Now I'm beginning to wonder if we are indeed the same person.

You offer your seat to other people because (SHOCK) it's considerate! I often give up my seat on the TTC to other people (the frail, women, children, and even other men). I sometimes choose not to sit at all because I know there will be stops coming up which will fill the bus and I don't really need to sit.

 

[An Officer]

Unbelievable. No wonder some folks can't get a date.

 

[sidious618]

Unbelievable. No wonder some folks can't get a date.

Because they're not sexist and don't assume women are weak? Yes, that's so horrible...

 

[An Officer]

It's all about competition in the marketplace, if you don't go the extra mile, you'll loose out to guys who do, every time.

 

[Amaris]

It doesn't even have to be about that. I do it just to do it. I think "if I were very tired or uncomfortable, it would be nice if someone offered me a seat" and so that's what I do for others.


J.

 

[An Officer]

^ That too... but, some people understand only one language.

 

[sidious618]

It's all about competition in the marketplace, if you don't go the extra mile, you'll loose out to guys who do, every time.

I've never seen a guy pick up a woman by doing that. Never. Not to mention that it's also rather degrading to the man as he's saying he's less than the woman. Plus, you're still being selfish at the same time.

Now, it's different if you'll give up your seat for anyone, I guess. But why only women? That makes no sense.

 

[Hermiod]

Meh. Why must every thread about chivalry devolve in sexist remarks against women, or men, or every flavor in between? Isn't it contrary to the very definition of chivalry?

If you whine about chivalry, you are not chivalrous. Period.

Red card for the 'w' word. Nobody here is "whining". Flux asked a question and people have answered it with a very consistent answer - just being a woman does not entitle you to special treatment.

In my many thousands of train journeys, the whining, albeit of the silent variety, normally comes from people who pile on to crowded trains during the rush hour expecting a seat like it's their god given right, glaring at the people who got on the train earlier than they did.

Public transport systems in a lot of major cities have capacity problems during peak times. Sometimes you are not going to be able to sit down.

Wow, I'm pretty surprised by some of the cynical, self-centered comments going on here. I think a lot of you are missing the point of giving up a seat for a woman. I don't do it because I think they're weak or deserve comfort more than I do. I do it because it's called being a gentleman, and is the nice and polite thing to do. It's the same reason I wait for my girlfriend to sit down to dinner before I do, or open a door for her. I don't do it for personal gain or to imply anything about the person on the receiving end. I do it because sometimes it's nice to do something nice. Again, I guess I'm just traditional.

I hold doors open when I can for anyone. It's not the same situation at all. If it is just because it's a nice and polite thing to do, why wouldn't you do it for a man ?

My way of thinking is this: pretend people on the train/bus are members of your family. Would you let your mom or sister stand while you sit? I think if we all treated each other like family we'd all get along a hell of a lot better.

Part of me wonders if this attitude some of you have translates into dating life. Do you not do special things for your date, since she's *just* a woman, and is perfectly able bodied?

I wouldn't let my mother stand up because she's disabled. I'm not likely to be on a train with my sister any time soon and that's really it for the women in my life.

So it comes back to the question I asked earlier - do I, as a relatively able-bodied man, get a Not Disabled, Pregnant, Elderly or Female discount ? If I am to be expected to give up my seat to any of the above then surely I am receiving a lower quality of service, so I should pay less ?

And as kimc and An Officer suggested earlier on, if the only reason for doing it is because it's a "sexy" gesture, then what difference does it make if us less attractive people give up our seats ?

It's all about competition in the marketplace, if you don't go the extra mile, you'll loose out to guys who do, every time.

To use your analogy, a savvy businessman would see that the marketplace is over-saturated and move on.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Do you ever give up your seat for guys?

Older men, yes or if another guy is carrying a lot of stuff.

It's interesting how some of you can turn a simple polite gesture into something bad.

I guess the question is, why do you give up your seat for women and not men (aside from older men, or ones carrying a lot.)

What's so "special" about a woman that she can't stand?

It's not about whether they can or can't. It's about doing something nice and polite. It's a tradition and it's being a gentleman. Why is this so hard to understand?

 

[TheLonelySquire]

I'm posting this from aboard my morning BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) train on my wat to school in San Francisco. Morning trains are always very full, as most people are on their way to work at this time. I get on at the first stop though, so depending on when I get on there are usually seats available. However, I usually elect to stand in one of the open areas and lean against a wall. I'll be sitting in glass all day, and there's sure to be a woman or an elderly person who I'd gladly give my seat up to so it's just easier to stand to begin with. Call me old fashioned, but I always feel like a dick if I'm sitting and a lady or older person is forced to stand.

Not everyone seems to share this feeling. Just 10 minutes ago, a man and a woman got on the train. Both parties appear to be very able bodied, probably in their 40s. There was one seat open on this car. The man looked at the woman, looked at the seat...and sat down like he was playing a game of musical chairs and the penalty of losing was death. The lady is now standing over by one of the doors, around about 5 other guys sitting.

So am I alone here? Is it no longer seen as the right thing to do to give up a seat for a woman? Or is it politically incorrect and am I somehow implying that women are "too weak" to stand up on a train? Is that why these guys don't give their seats; a fear of offending someone? Or are they just lazy and inconsiderate?

It's not the PC thing to do but it IS the RIGHT thing to do.

Yep. Women are so weak they can't simply stand for a few minutes.

If the person is able bodied they can stand. If they're infirm, pregnant, elderly, maybe have a lot of packages, sure, give the person the seat.

But an able-bodied adult? They can stand.

Many women still appreciate a man.

 

[sidious618]

It's not about whether they can or can't. It's about doing something nice and polite. It's a tradition and it's being a gentleman. Why is this so hard to understand?

Because it's nonsense. Why for a woman only? If you were a "gentlemen" (which is a dumb idea to begin with- it's a bloody absurd phrase) wouldn't you give up your seat for anyone?

 

[Hermiod]

It's not about whether they can or can't. It's about doing something nice and polite. It's a tradition and it's being a gentleman. Why is this so hard to understand?

Traditions come and go. There are a million traditions surrounding the way a man should treat a woman, many of which most of the women on this board would find deeply offensive and quite rightly so.

 

[SGx]

Unbelievable. No wonder some folks can't get a date.

Because they're not sexist and don't assume women are weak? Yes, that's so horrible...

Actually, they have a point. Giving a girl your seat has nothing to do with assuming that they are weak, but is generally considered to be considerate and respectful. And, for obvious reasons, if you treat girls nice, you're more likely to get one.

 

[Hermiod]

Actually, they have a point. Giving a girl your seat has nothing to do with assuming that they are weak, but is generally considered to be considerate and respectful. And, for obvious reasons, if you treat girls nice, you're more likely to get one.

You're advocating that they be subservient to you. That's the problem.