Caption Contest 63: Two Peas In A Pod

[Nerys Myk]

But, first the Winners!

Blah Blah Blah BREAST Blah Blah Blah Award

T'Pol: And then Phlox made a three inch incision just under my right breast so he could insert a tube into my lung in order to keep me breathing. After that he applied another one of his eels to my face to repair the scrape I got when I fell to the ground. Finally, after three hours of surgery, he revived me and gave me the rundown of what happened on the mission after I was shot.
Archer (thinking): Did I hear something about breasts in there?

I Got A Bad Feeling About This Award

T'Pol: ''Captain, I believe something really bad is going to happen soon... A star becoming a supernova... Or even my homeworld being destroyed.''

Archer: ''What makes you say that?''

T'Pol: ''There's a slight lens flare in this room.''

Archer (after a brief pause): ''I really could have a beer right now...''

I Just Drive The Ship Award

Trip: Damn...this happens when the Cap'n is away. Any ideas, guys?

Hoshi: I could encrypt that last sentence the alien said before they went to warp

Malcolm: I could track the phaser particles and see where they went

Travis: Aye, sir. Full Impulse

Trip: *sigh* This is getting ridculous... the whole one line the writers has been giving Mayweather....

I Hate It When A Plan Falls Apart Award

Multi Picture entry

Trip: So you found them?

Malcolm: Yup, they're in a compound just outside the capital city. We can beam them aboard right now.

Travis: I'll head down to the Transporter-

Trip: Well that's not very heroic. Malcolm and I will go down there, kick some butt and end up getting promoted.

20 minutes later....

Malcolm: What was that you said about 'butt kicking" Commander?

Trip: Shut up.

Out Of Options Award

Malcolm: So you, me, the Captain and T'Pol are all captured. This leaves Travis, Hoshi or Phlox to rescue us.

Trip: Ah, man. I don't want to die.

Award

Reed: "Uhhh..."

Your Prize:

 

[Nerys Myk]

And now, this contest's pics:

 

[T'Girl]

Trip: "You know Malcolm, no matter how T'Girl manipulates the color, you are still one pasty faced Brit."

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the wins!

Trip: Enterprise is gone.

Malcolm: Are you sure Sir? All we really saw was a piece of a launch bay door. The rest of the debris looked like it came from a different ship-

Trip: Enterprise is gone!

Trip: Dang, I knew I shouldn't have bought the chips for the shuttlepods at the Dollar store.

Trip didn't take kindly to Malcolms attempt to sing him lullaby's to help him sleep.

Trip: The Galaxy's not getting any of our bourbon!

The Galaxy: Oh no?

Shuttlepod shakes

Trip: Hand it over Malcolm! Fast!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Reed: "Do you mind! I'm trying to do research in here!"
Tucker: "Oh, please! Don't you know we can monitor any computer terminal on the ship from the bridge? Everybody knows about your naked-Chinese-women-in-high-heels-smoking-cigarettes video collection!"

Trip: "Some punk kid hacker overclocked the CPU! No wonder our navigational system couldn't find its own ass with both hands!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: Golly, this shorr is a lot harder ta figure than a boat enjun

REED: We're bloody doomed.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Reed: "If T'Pol and Hoshi were here freezing to death with us, do you think they would cuddle with us for shared bodily warmth?"
Tucker: "Man, you never give up, do you?"

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

When ratings began to drop for UPN's new Star Trek television series, the network tried all sorts of things to keep viewers interested, many of which questionable. In addition to the decon scenes, there was also the infamous ad campaign featuring cameos from the cast of The Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Things got really awkward after Reed confessed his undying love for the chief engineer.

Trip: You keep singin' "Jerusalem" and I'm going to come over there and shove a burning bow of gold right up your ass.

 

[Admiral Shran]

Thanks for the win. I'm gonna have to make my prize into an avatar now.

Trip: Out of gas? I haven't heard that one in quite a while.

Trip: What freakin' language is this instruction manual written in anyway?
Malcolm: Commander, that's the circuit panel. The instructions are on the screen behind you.

Trip: Dammit Malcolm! I've already told you that if I'm willing to sleep in my uniform, than you can sleep in yours.

Trip: I think I'm having a vision Malcolm, of the future. In a few years I'll become a super-spy and help defend Earth against an implacable enemy.
Malcolm: I'm just going to finish this off. You've obviously had too much as it is. After all, we both know you'll probably end up killing yourself before that happens.

 

[LeadHead]

Trip: You keep singin' "Jerusalem" and I'm going to come over there and shove a burning bow of gold right up your ass.

Malcolm: I'm not singing it, I'm listening to the Julian Bashir/Miles O'Brien version of the song.

 

[Rat Boy]

Reed: "I'm sorry, I can't do it if someone's watching."

Trip: "But there's no where else...Ah hell no, I can't hold my breath that long."

Trip: "This? This is the mother board to a 62" LED television by Samsung."

Reed: "How does that help us?"

Trip: "It doesn't, I was just telling you what it was."

Trip: "Again with the Yoko Ono?"

Trip: "Is that a police shuttle?"

Reed: "We're saved!"

Trip: "Uh, we're piss drunk and we're in a shuttle. Kiss our licenses good-bye."

 

[Finn]

Reed: (OS) What's wrong?
Trip: Feels like Porthos left a calling card from when the Captain went on that hike on Calek Prime.

Reed: Want some?
Trip: No way! No sensible engineer would drink something green like that!

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Reed: Trip, what are you doing?? I thought you wanted to get out of here!

Trip: Time for go to bed!!

Reed: You know Trip, this Coca-cola tastes like.... Aw God!!! It's piss!!! Why the hell would you do that!!! What kind of sick mind gives people urine to drink?? Fuck!!

 

[LeadHead]

Trip was not pleased when he woke up and found that Malcolm had placed his hand in a cup of warm water during the night.

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Thanks for the win!

Reed: ''You know what you're doing, are you?''
Reed: ''Commander?''
Trinneer: ''Where the F#$K is my script?!''

Trip: ''What's Athlon XP?''
Reed: ''PUT THAT DOWN! It belonged to my grandfather.''

 

[Mistral]

Thanks for the wins!

Malcolm: "Did you use a back brace like the instructions said? Did you bend from the knees? Was it more than two times your body weight?"

Trip: "Would you just help me to a chair before I faceplant on this control panel?"

 

[Mistral]

"Great. All of the maintenance instructions are in binary. Malcolm! You're kind of two-dimensional-can you translate this?"

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

Reed: So that's it? We're going to die?
Trip: Yep. (notices circuit board on the floor) Unless...what's this?

Trip: This is...this is nothing. Yep, we're gonna die.

 

[LeadHead]

Reed: We've only got the windbreakers aboard?

Trip: Yup.

Reed: Not the Heavy Jackets?

Trip: Nope.

Reed: Cause if we had the Heavy Jackets that would be a lot smarter. Since you're about to turn down the thermostat.

Trip: I'm sorry! I thought they looked cooler.

Reed: My dearest T'Bonz,

Trip: Who's that?

Reed: Didn't go anywhere, we met online.

Trip: Why are you messaging her?

Reed: I need to apologize for that time I posted in "Moderator Actions" by mistake.