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caption contest 48.1: Smokin Mirrors

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T'Pol: "Sir Request permission to report to the captured ship?"
Archer: "Why?"

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Hoshi: "Are the cameras on? Good, welcome too Gang bang on the bridge..."
Blue shirt: "Huh?"
Red Shirt: "Oh boy Oh Boy... Oh Oh wait a minuet I'm a dead man"
Security Gaurd: "Sweet!"

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Malcom: "This doesn't feel right even 21st century cell phones were smaller than this thing"
 
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Get off my BRIDGE, Vulcan whore.

Don't make me mount you and do unspeakably hot and erotic things to your inferior alien body.

Remember who you are...and WHERE you are.


Now get back the captain's cabin and make me a hair pie.

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STAR TREK: NEW VOYAGES

After Dark!
(TM)


"Coming" in 2011

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Reed to Archer.

Sir, I can't locate the Gorn intruder...and we adjusted our scan frequencies to detect Level 1 Lousy-CGI.
 
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T'POL: What are our new orders, sir?

ARCHER: First...resume course for the rendezvous point with the rest of our Fleet. Warp factor five!

Second...

I want a soy latte. Leave the Tellarite blood on top.
 
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Hoshi: "Hello. I'm Empress Sato of the Terran Empire and we're here to conquer your planet! First of all, I'd like to point out that most of the women in our empire look a lot like me. And, based on that fact, most of the planets we've conquered have willingly surrendered without firing a shot! Care to comply?"
 
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At long last...after YEARS of repeated attempts...

The formula for combining Asian fetishes with those of overweight 45-year-old virgins is discovered.
 
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Reed to Archer.

We haven't found anything down here in the primary Jefferies tube juncture.

Unless you count some dead human corpse with the nametag "Hoffa" on it.
 
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Reed: "Yes, I was wondering, do you have Prince Albert in a can."

Muffled voice: "Yes, I believe we do."

Reed: "Well you'd better let him out! *click* HAHAHAha oh that never gets old."
 
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Reed to Archer.

Sir, nothing's down here except for quickly-assembled sets and backdrops and some guy in glasses and curly hair saying "Stick around...I'm writing the finale and want to hear your input."
 
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I am so full of misery! my mother locked me in the cupboard and fed me pins! oh look, the moon! its weeping in a bucket of shadows! we crawl on our knees toward our doom!!!
 
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T'pol: How much is it going to cost to fix it?

Archer: (sucks air through his teeth) Question is how much can you afford to pay?
 
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Security Chief's Personal Log...January 8, 2155...

Feel unfulfilled in my career choices. If GEICO back on Earth offers me the voice-over job for the homicidal gecko...take it.
 
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T'POL: Orders, sir?

ARCHER: Yes, actually.

My ass hurts. Rub it. While naked.

NOW.
 
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T'POL: Captain, I regret to inform you that checking out my refuse does not constitute a "date."

ARCHER: It's junk, T'Pol. I was checking out your junk.
 
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T'POL: Your orders, sir? I stand ready to obey.

ARCHER: Ever hear of "a greasy reacharound?"

T'POL: I do not believe so, sir.

ARCHER: Well...you're about to find out.
 
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Breaker, breaker, Commander...

Space Smokey's in the Jefferies tubes and closin' fast...best call the Stellar Snowman on the blower and ask if we need to dump the Romulan Ale!

OVER!
 
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