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Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

A.V.I.A.F.

Captain
TOS Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

I have to say that it has been incredibly difficult choosing the winners this time. I have decided to name a Photoshop winner for each of the pics as there were so many great ones! Drum-roll please, here are:

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Don't pretend you haven't always wondered about this yourselves...

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Kirk: "In all our travels, I think this is the first time we've encountered two-toned beings such as Lokai and yourself."

Bele: "You think our skin tone is unique? You should see our genitals."

Don't let the pony tail and gold kimono fool you, he's a force to be reckoned with...

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Spock: "Despite your claim to have superior speed, strength and reflexes, I see no evidence of enhancement. You're just telling us what you think sounds impressive".

Khan: "Actually I'm just holding your drink".

*Spock looks down at his now-empty hand in astonishment, before looking nonplussed*

Kirk (to Khan): "Well played".

Always check your source...

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Stuntman
: "There are no women in this place."
Scotty: "I was noticing that myself."
Chekov: "But Sulu said it was a great "pickup bar."
Klingon: "Hi there sailor, new in town?"

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

And our Photoshop winners are:

This is truly a work of genius--evil genius. No way Gary7 is ever getting his hands on a real picture of me...

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Riddler: "I don't know anything about a Lokai. I'm looking for the Batman and I have reason to believe he's on board your ship."

You know your 15 minutes are up when...

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"I don't always drink beer, but when I ---. Hello? Kirk? Most interesting man in the world here. You wanna maybe pay attention?"

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows how you spent the better part of the 80's...

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SCOTTY: If you can introduce me the the comely Vulcan lass behind the bar, there's fifty credits in it for you.

K'LAVIN: I think you'll find the young lady is human. Note the eybrows, while arch, lack the dramatic angle of Vulcanoids....

SCOTTY: Another fifty if you kill the know-it-all.

KORAX: I'll do it for free.


Congratulations to all of the winners and a big round of applause to everyone else who put out some really fine entries.

This week: Commissioner Hedford finds out she is NOT going to be Kirk's love interest for this episode; Commissioner Ferris is tired of everyone making fun of his mini-cape; and former Ambassador Fox adapts to his new job as turbo-lift operator. Have at it!

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Re: TOS Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

Thanks for the win! :)

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Fox: "Now to test my creation. Although I fear the speech patterns might be insufficient for the job".

"Kirk": "Yes...IAm...your....CAP..tain, notarobOTic replace...MENT"

Uhura: "Good morning captain!"

Fox: "Evidently not :)"

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Ferris (hesitant): "Captain Kirk? Can I come back on the bridge now?"

Kirk: "I'm still not speaking to you. Your little routine during Alpha Shift was severely damaging to the crew's morale".

Ferris: "My orders to abandon the Galileo?"

Kirk: "No, your impression of "James T. Worrywort, Galactic Prissy Pants".

Ferris: "Look, I'll get you a new Vulcan. Just stop sulking".
 
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

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Kirk: "Commissioner, please excuse yourself for interrupting my 'full of myself' session."
 
Thanks for the win. :D

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Yeoman: "Ha! That's so funny, Captain. What a riot. The Fox has a tail--I get it!"

Kirk was drawing a caricature of Ambassador Fox on the Yeoman's PADD, as the Fox himself was soon to find out.



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Ferris: "Kirk? Kirk? Anyone, anyone?"
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

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Spock: (off screen) You have been convicted of being an annoying Starfleet bureaucrat. The Sentence is death. Take her away.

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Kirk: So anyway, then Starfleet Command said, "We're sorry we're sending Ambassador Fox along for this mission. Since he has the diplomatic skills of a 2 year old."
 
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Kirk: "Fine, we'll go to Toy's R Us on the way back to the Enterprise. Sheesh, Bones, you didn't say one of the symptoms of Sakuro's Disease included being a big damn crybaby."

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Ferris: "Captain, you're stalling."

Kirk: "I know. Sulu, try holding down the gas pedal when you turn the key."

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Kirk: "...so then I bent Miss Fox over like so and...he's right behind me, isn't he?"

Scotty: "That's what she said!"

Kirk: "You're not helping!"
 
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Fox: (thinking to himself) Damned, that Captain Kirk. He's always making me feel so small and insignificant.
 
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Fox: "'No Godiva chocolate for you', he says. 'You are just a lowly ambassador. I'm the Captain of this ship,' he declares. Well, I've had it. I'm outta here. Maybe I'll go get myself a new suit. Yeah, that'll do the trick."
 
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Ferris: "Those blasted baggage handlers. Lose my luggage and I've got nothing to wear. And this ship... all the tailor has for me that fits is this getup from some former wacko captain."
 
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Ferris: (thinking) He's putting on more than just a few pounds. Do I have the heart to tell him?
 
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Kirk: "I tried to warn you. But, no, you're the diplomat! You know best! Well, congratulations, you've proven your courage to the Krisalians by eating their spiced sea slugs."
McCoy: "And now you get to spend the next four days hugging a toilet."


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Ferris: "Captain Kirk? I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you!"
Kirk: "Oh, crap!"
 
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HEDFORD: No!!!! No!!!!! You've got to take me with you! When he gets older he'll be all tall and gangly and look like Stretch Cunningham!!!!
 
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Hedford: "When I asked you whether this outfit made me look fat, I didn't expect you to say yes."
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

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hedford; anything but twilight, please! ANYTHING!
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kirk: captains... log. stardate... 473 point... two. th...
ferris: does anybody actually listen to that crap?
kirk: shut up, I like speaking dramatically!
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fox: there he goes again, chatting up a member of his senior staff. and what am I left doing? that's right, giving a handjob to a lift... you know what kirk? SCREW YOU
 
Re: TOS Caption Contest #232: Damn Bureaucrats!

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McCoy: Don't worry, soon have these arms back in their sockets...
Hedford (in agony): B-b-but it was only a game of 3D chess...!
Kirk: I did warn you - "let the Vulcan win!"


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Ferris: *knock knock*
Kirk: Go away!
Ferris: You still mad at me from before, huh?
Kirk: I hate you! I hate you, I hope you die!
 
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