Caption Contest 21: The Spanish Acquisition

[Triskelion]

Whatdya want, T'Pol! No girls allowed!

- Now factor the inverse warp ratio of a laden shuttlepod!
- Ruf! Ruf!
- Good Boy!

 

[jgdst]

Thanks for the win...erm...wins *lights a cigar*

Trip: Great, this is an awesome place for my new spycam.

T'Pol: Okay, everybody up! It's time for everyone's physical. In sickbay. Right opposite the randomly placed ladder near the door.

Porthos: What was that? WHAT?! "Sit, Ubu, sit"?! Just who the frig do you think you are?!
Ulis: Um... I don't think you should've said that to him.

 

[Toban Kal]

I gotta tell ya Doc, since you treated my illness with that spider DNA I've felt a little weird.

The aftermath of the Enterprise christmas party
Tucker: Don't wake up. don't wake up. Dear God, just let me grope those things. Just for a second.

What do you think it is?
I don't know. It's in the captain quarters, do you think it's a midnight snack? Personal slave? Lover?
Perhaps even all three.
Hoomons are weird.
Tell me about it. Let's just go back to the ship and eat some tube grubs.

 

[John Picard]

Ceiling engineer is watching you masturbate

 

[Toban Kal]

I laughed at that one.
I love LOLcats.

 

[SFRabid]

The morning after the party Archer finally found his engineer in an access tube. From that day on the word "hangover" seemed to make sense.

Malcolm tried to tell Trip that his aftershave was strong enough to knock out a horse.

Ferengi: "This tasts like crap."

Porthos: "It is crap you idiot. I've been locked in here for 12 hours. Where is the captain?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Anyone down here?

If so, you'd better high-tail it outta here...and pronto!

The toilet up here ain't workin', and I've gotta drop the Brown twins off at the pool!!"

"...now to make sure they won't remember WHERE the salty aftertaste in their mouths came from!"

PORTHOS:"Fine.

If you're gonna stand and stare at me, clean my paper. With your bare hands.

I wanna enjoy this shit."

 

[cooleddie74]

"The finale over yet?

Hello?

I ain't comin' back down 'til that turd's OVER."

 

[Rat Boy]

Ceiling engineer is watching you masturbate

Bed Beagle is watching you masticate.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Ferengi: So this must be one of their females.

Trip: Peek-a-boo, Doc.

 

[John Picard]

Tucker: "Pssst, Malcolm. Can you spare a square?"*


*Seinfeld reference.

 

[Toban Kal]

Whatever it is, it's better looking than those hoomons flying this thing.
Why do I have an urge to rub it behind those ears.

That's it Hoshi, keep showering. don't look up at the vent. Just keep showering.

 

[John Picard]

Tucker: "I need two more rolls of duct tape and some more bailing wire to complete the repairs on the warp engines."

 

[John Picard]

Tucker: "We're gonna need a bigger ship!"

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Unfortunately for Captain Archer, Enterprise had to be recalled when Trip recreated the house from Saw II in the cargo bay.

 

[Toban Kal]

I don't know what you girls did last night, but next time, count me in.

 

[cooleddie74]

CLINT HOWARD:"Is this a pet...or one of their females?

Here. YOU go test my theory!"

Zero-G Trip.

Half the cost of the original. And this one doesn't die like a stupid punk.

 

[cooleddie74]

UNITED EARTH'S GREATEST GANG-BANGS VOLUME 3

The Zero Gravity Edition

 

[Toban Kal]

I told you to grab hold of something before we turned the gravity back on Captain.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: Porthos! You hold them off. I'll go get help!

PORTHOS: This never happens to Lassie.