Caption Contest 20: @#$%&* Coworkers!

[cooleddie74]

TRAVIS:"...underpants, sir?"

ARCHER:"UNDERPANTS!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: Nope, can't say I've ever seen that light come on before either. Where's the manual?

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Good job, Travis.

You burned the Hot Pocket."

 

[cooleddie74]

"No, Subcommander.

You download MP3s this way."

 

[Nerys Myk]

TOLARIS: "The Analects of Surak" is just the cover.

T'POL: "Vulcan Love Slave"? ( raises eyebrow)

 

[Alyssa]

Tolaris: See, it says right here in the contract that as my property you are obliged to asphyxiate me as we copulate as per my request. Now I will see you in my private quarters in 10 minutes.

 

[Alyssa]

Travis: Sir .... SIR
Archer: What?
Travis: Your standing on my foot.

 

[jgdst]

Archer: Good morning everyone... T'Pol, Hoshi.
T'Pol, Hoshi: Captain.
Archer: Ahhh, the helm! Always got time for the pilot of my ship! What have you got for me today, Morn?
Mayweather: ...
Hoshi: ...
T'Pol: ...
Bridge Equipment: ...
Tumbleweed: ...
Archer: What?

 

[Alyssa]

Vulcans had somewhat varied outlooks on the act of goatse.

 

[DBR]

Archer: "Mr. Mayweather, two minutes and thirty-three seconds for the popcorn. Get it right from now on, or I will find someone else who can do this job!"

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"The little green light is flashing in a left-to-right pattern! What does that mean?"

TRAVIS:"Not sure. The little white button down here won't tell me without consulting the unmarked screen first."

 

[cooleddie74]

"These are Cultural Database downloads from what used to be called The Trek BBS on old, pre-warp Earth. You will notice the incredible lengths many of these humans would go through to speak volumes about people and things they claimed to hate and want nothing to do with."

 

[Nebusj]

``There! There! It's the Queen Anne's Revenge, twenty fathoms off the port bow! All hands belay the starboard fo'c'sle! Batten the hatches! Batten them again, we'll teach those hatches!''
``Um ... Captain ... did you take the pills Dr Phlox was giving out again?''

``Well, if you don't want to play Star Wars and you don't want to tell ghost stories and you don't want to predict things In The Year Two Thousand then what do you want to do?''

``And the first twelve great CDs cost just a single penny, see?''

 

[Rat Boy]

Tolaris: "Here's our grocery list. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go help find a lost child...again."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Here's a list of things we need for the Ponn Farr dinner with the T'Smiths. Don't forget the plomeek broth cubes and ahn-woon."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:"Breaker, breaker...this is Sheriff Jonny T. Archer hailin' the Orion Bandit! You scum-bum!"

TRAVIS:"You tell 'em, sir!"

ARCHER:"Shut up, shit."

 

[Nerys Myk]

TOLARIS: It's just a first draft, but I think it will be a hit.

T'POL: "These Are The Voyages"? ( Raises eybrow.)

 

[Gil T.Azell]

MAYWEATHER: "Sir,Please get your hand off my Holy Shit bar, thats why you have the big chair"

TUCKER: A little cold in here T'pol. (snicker)

T'POL: Humans

TOLARIS: I found this old satilite transmition, it seem the humans used to broadcast their matting habits'
T'Pol: "I belive they called it Porn, and this Jenna Jameson seems to be a popular participant"

 

[Triskelion]

So Triskelion's Chinese Frankenstein PC crashed again, huh?

Yes sir. Hence the red flashing light on the caption contest panel.

Oh I thought that was the helmsman irritation indicator.

No sir, that's this red flashing light.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Mayweather: "Sir, I think..."

Archer: "That's enough ensign. You've already spoken once this episode. Whatever it is will have to wait for next week."

Tucker: C's? C's? You seriously expect me to believe that?

Tolaris: "It's called a 'Caption Contest.' They'll make you say and do things no true Vulcan would be willing to do in public."

T'Pol: "And your alternative?"

Tolaris: "A preemptive strike. Do those things with me, otherwise they win."