Caption Contest 18: Zero Gee Whiz

[Triskelion]

Or as the saying goes:

A point in every direction
is the same as no point at all.

(Special bonus gift to anyone who knows where that came from)!
​

It's hard to see your house from here when you're distracted by plomeek broth farts and assless chaps, but we can try! Congratulations to this week's winners, jongredic, Quagmire58 and SFRabid!

How many weeks in a row is this jongredic's win now? Who has the time to go back and count all those captions - with a great caption that summed up the timeline batch superbly! He's on a hot streak, folks, put your money down! Quagmire58 wins with a classic Seinfeld reference, while SFRabid's back in the winner's circle with a photoshop that brings home the feuxtographic award for this week!

There were only about ten runners-up - can I just post the whole thread in the winners thread? Can we do that?
​

And since this is a special Christmas & Holidays edition caption contest, each of our winners this week wins a special

Mystery Box!!!

<Ooooh Aaaaah Murmur Murmur Murmur>

And now:
​

First Image:

Daniels: No, not that, the tiny pixel sized blob about 4 miles beyond that. THAT's Enterprise's contribution to history.
Archer: Dammit! *slaps time around*

Second Image:

Trip: Sorry Captain, I didn't know you were in the Sonic Shower.

T'Pol (to self): I didn't know Sonic Showers caused shrinkage.

Photoshop Award:

Trip: "I hate teleporters."
T'Pol: "This would never happen on a Vulcan ship."

Now open your Mystery Box and Merry Holidays!...........
You get:

One slightly used Jolene Blalock Magazine!

One Bootleg Anthony Montgomery CD!

One naughty videotape!

One souvenir from an alternate timeline!

One Sexy Poster!

...And one Tiger Beat Cassidy/Osmond/Bakula edition!


But don't despair, captioners! Each of our players will be taking home:

A Match Game Home Game...

...and a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni!
It's the San Francisco Treat!


Well, how exciting! Are you folks ready to move on to the next round for bigger stakes and better prizes? Well come on down!

Our next foray into gold, frankincense and mirth finds us subject to the law of diminishing returns, as Hoshi's screen time fades into a Vanishing Point:

With a bonus pic of grief-stricken Hoshi's father, obviously moved to great depths of emotion...eventually...

_____________________________________________
Run for cover!

 

[Rat Boy]

Trip: "THE WOMEN!"

Hoshi: "You do realize in order to get this VR rig to work, you need the helmet, right?"

Mr. Sato: "Wait a minute; I have a daughter?"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Braga: "Marooned for all eternity... as comic relief... comic relief..."

Trip: "BRAAAGAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Trip: "Boy, you weren't kidding when you said it was gonna be kinky, Mirror Universe Hoshi."

Archer: "Man, our TV service sucks. All we get out here is the Fat Guy Channel."

 

[E-Blonde]

No matter how hard he tries, Trip's version of "Dancing With Myself" never quite wins the prize on Karaoke night.

Space is different than Corporate America. Shit does not always flow downhill.

There is nothing like a pep talk from Chairman Mao to get you through the day.

 

[Triskelion]

Anal leakage isn't funny, Hoshi.

Archer: Trip, this is hardly the time for Bohemian Rhapsody!

Oh well. At least my son is gainfully employed. <stare>

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: Seriously! Turn off the damn wind machine!!!!!

TRIP: JANE!!!! Stop this crazy thing!!!!!

MR.SATO: Meh, she was adopted.

 

[cooleddie74]

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN you just beam me the hell outta here?!

NOW?!?!?!?"

Trip doubted the new Pleasure Centrifuge 7000.

Until he tried it.

"What?

My Hoshi not yanky your wanky?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"It's been a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng road...

gettin' from here back to the ship...


It's been a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time...

But if you don't beam now, I'll be a dead Trip..."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

*YAWN* Yeah, yeah, yeah, Cap'n. I know ALL about those goddamn gazelles."

"Interesting. I've never seen anybody piss in their own mouth before."

"Sir, Garrett Wang's dad is on the line. Something about not letting him direct."

 

[Rat Boy]

Trip: "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?! Ah, fuck it."

Even Hoshi was intrigued by the Risian home sex simulator.

Buck Bokai: "If there's one thing I didn't mind when baseball ended was that the Cubs hadn't won the World Series ever again."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Trip: Captain, they built the damn thing on the ground! ON THE GROUND! WHO BUILDS A F'ING SHIP ON THE GROUND?!

<PFffft>
Trip: Oh, guess I shouldn't have had that carne asada and bean burrito before I got on this thing.

Mr. Yunioshi: Ms. GO-lightly! I must A proTEST!

 

[Alrik]

The crew began to realize that Archer's fascination with watching re-runs of Barney and Friends had become a real problem when he insisted on having them always running in at least picture in picture mode.

 

[Nerys Myk]

HOSHI: Stop crying, you pansy. I haven't even switched it on yet!

 

[cooleddie74]

PHLOX's voice: "My, my, Commander...you really HAVE let those bad molars go haven't you? When you get back aboard, you're reporting to sickbay for extensive oral surgery.

Doctor's orders!"

HOSHI:"Just wait until Level Ten kicks in.

Your nuts will be in your mouth."

TRIP:"Sounds like a bad date I had once."

HARRY KIM

The Moribund Years

 

[cooleddie74]

"I'm not sure WHAT the hell it is, but Richard Dreyfuss and Francois Truffaut just waved at me from the windows!!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: I'm telling you dude, these new speakers are awesome!!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

"You should see it, Captain!!!

Gozer the Gozerian and the Keymaster are doin' it right in front of me!!! It's awesome!!!"

 

[Alrik]

Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night

 

[Alrik]

"Travis! Turn the damn High Beams off and repark the Shuttlepod.....You landed on my freakin foot!!!

 

[SPCTRE]

"Travis! Turn the damn High Beams off and repark the Shuttlepod.....You landed on my freakin foot!!!