Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

Discussion in 'General Trek Discussion' started by Lord Garth, Jun 12, 2018.

  1. Kahlesh

    Kahlesh Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Location:
    StametsFungi
    What if they started calling Gul Dukat "Cull Dukat" after his actions on Bajor?
     
  2. Kahlesh

    Kahlesh Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2019
    Location:
    StametsFungi
    Not Trek related but I went to buy a BBQ from B&Q and the guy showing me one said "It can hold your meat" I was dying to say "Do you have to take it on a couple of dates first?"
     
    Cutie McWhiskers likes this.
  3. Discofan

    Discofan Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Location:
    Discofan
    Data walks into a bar, the bar bends.
     
    SpocksOddSocks likes this.
  4. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Fleet Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
    Where does Garak store his passwords?

    In his PIN cushion!
     
  5. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Fleet Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
    How does Garak escape from every prison he's put in?

    Through the vent!
     
  6. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Fleet Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
    What implacable force captures Garak the most often?

    The Board.
     
  7. Discofan

    Discofan Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Location:
    Discofan
    How do you call one of Garak's tailor bon mots?

    A knit-Wit!
     
  8. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Fleet Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
    Why did Garak say upon beaming down to Oz?

    ""We're not in Canvas anymore."
     
  9. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Fleet Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
    Why was Garak pacing at Docking Port Three?

    He was waiting for godet!
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2019
  10. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Fleet Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
    Why does Garak's shop never falter during hard times?

    Its business is serging!
     
  11. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2016
    Location:
    Mississauga
    How does Garak stall for time while he thinks of a way out?

    By hemming and hawing!
     
  12. Discofan

    Discofan Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Location:
    Discofan
    Why does Garak think that Lincoln was a fellow tailor?

    Because he made the Gettysburg a dress.
     
  13. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Fleet Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
    :beer:
    Garak rules!
     
  14. SpocksOddSocks

    SpocksOddSocks Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    May 30, 2015
    Location:
    SpocksOddSocks
    Nothing since August. I miss this thread. Not been a year though, so here goes:

    A Vulcan, an Andorian and a Tellarite walk into a 22nd century pub.

    Barman says, "is this some kind of a joke?"
     
    Jayson1 likes this.
  15. Discofan

    Discofan Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Location:
    Discofan
    Very bad Trek joke:

    Guinan: (talking to Data) You're a droid and I am a noid...:rolleyes:
     
  16. Lord Garth

    Lord Garth Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    May 7, 2011
    Location:
    Aug 10, 2399
    Last thing you want to hear on Discovery: "We've got this... under control."
     
    Tim Thomason likes this.
  17. Discofan

    Discofan Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Location:
    Discofan
    Once in the past, while time traveling Data's vocal processor went offline, he was mistaken by the people there for Marcel Marceau...
     
  18. Jayson1

    Jayson1 Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2017
    Why did the alien who took over Data's body try and pretend to be Data at first in season 5?

    He was a conn officer.


    Why did EMH 2 act like a asshole to our Doctor?

    He was a real dick.

    What caused the transporters to start making blue crystal meth all of sudden?

    The Heisenberg Compensator



    Jason
     
    SpocksOddSocks likes this.
  19. Cutie McWhiskers

    Cutie McWhiskers Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 18, 2017
    Location:
    The clinic located by the Q Continuum
    Would you date someone who had a really big Edo?
     
  20. Brennyren

    Brennyren Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2003
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Question: How many Betazoid counselors does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Answer: One, but the lightbulb must want to change.

    Question: How many good old country doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Answer: Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an engineer!

    Question: How many Q does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Answer: One. He holds it up and changes the rotational constant of the universe.

    Kirk: Bones, go work on the engines!
    McCoy: Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an engineer!
    Kirk: Bones, take over at the helm!
    McCoy: Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pilot!
    Kirk: Bones, go help those injured people!
    McCoy: Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a -- never mind, I'll get right on it.