Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

[ED-209]

What if they started calling Gul Dukat "Cull Dukat" after his actions on Bajor?

 

[ED-209]

Not Trek related but I went to buy a BBQ from B&Q and the guy showing me one said "It can hold your meat" I was dying to say "Do you have to take it on a couple of dates first?"

 

[Discofan]

Data walks into a bar, the bar bends.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Where does Garak store his passwords?

In his PIN cushion!

 

[IMC Headquarters]

How does Garak escape from every prison he's put in?

Through the vent!

 

[IMC Headquarters]

What implacable force captures Garak the most often?

The Board.

 

[Discofan]

How do you call one of Garak's tailor bon mots?

A knit-Wit!

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Why did Garak say upon beaming down to Oz?

""We're not in Canvas anymore."

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Why was Garak pacing at Docking Port Three?

He was waiting for godet!

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Why does Garak's shop never falter during hard times?

Its business is serging!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

How does Garak stall for time while he thinks of a way out?

By hemming and hawing!

 

[Discofan]

Why does Garak think that Lincoln was a fellow tailor?

Because he made the Gettysburg a dress.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

Garak rules!

 

[SpocksOddSocks]

Nothing since August. I miss this thread. Not been a year though, so here goes:

A Vulcan, an Andorian and a Tellarite walk into a 22nd century pub.

Barman says, "is this some kind of a joke?"

 

[Discofan]

Very bad Trek joke:

Guinan: (talking to Data) You're a droid and I am a noid...

 

[Lord Garth]

Last thing you want to hear on Discovery: "We've got this... under control."

 

[Discofan]

Once in the past, while time traveling Data's vocal processor went offline, he was mistaken by the people there for Marcel Marceau...

 

[Jayson1]

Why did the alien who took over Data's body try and pretend to be Data at first in season 5?

He was a conn officer.


Why did EMH 2 act like a asshole to our Doctor?

He was a real dick.

What caused the transporters to start making blue crystal meth all of sudden?

The Heisenberg Compensator



Jason

 

[Qonundrum]

Would you date someone who had a really big Edo?

 

[Brennyren]

Question: How many Betazoid counselors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: One, but the lightbulb must want to change.

Question: How many good old country doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an engineer!

Question: How many Q does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: One. He holds it up and changes the rotational constant of the universe.

Kirk: Bones, go work on the engines!
McCoy: Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an engineer!
Kirk: Bones, take over at the helm!
McCoy: Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pilot!
Kirk: Bones, go help those injured people!
McCoy: Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a -- never mind, I'll get right on it.