sounds a lot like Aspergers to me. But Im not a psychologist or anything, just someone who has it.
Are you a shy person?
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sounds a lot like Aspergers to me. But Im not a psychologist or anything, just someone who has it.
It's like my brain reaches for the word to say but comes up with the opposite thing. For example, recently I was discussing with my mom about their impending visit and my mom was doing her usual insecure thing like "oh you sure you don't mind us staying at your apartment" and I meant to say "I'm happy to have you" but it came out "I'm not happy to have you".
Now issues with my parents aside I was actually quite happy to have them coming up to stay for a few days so this was not true at all to what I was feeling at the time and just kind of made me sound like an ass.I'm sure I've said equally stupid things to people I've just met and had wanted to impress but strangely enough I can not recall any specific cases at the moment.
I'm pretty awful when it comes to socializing with strangers, even on the internet! I'm fine once I get to know people. I think I'm just terrible at initiating conversations and I'm not good at carrying them. Its easier if they other person just keeps talking and I smile and nod.
And don't even get me started on how much I hate answering and talking on the phone.
And don't even get me started on how much I hate answering and talking on the phone.
As shy as some people tend to be, there is always that instinct to become part of a larger group. I know how this feels...this summer when I was in New York City I spent time with the Bleacher Creatures in Yankee Stadium. That was, absolutely, a life changing experience for me. It was the most fun I have ever had doing anything at all.
To anyone here who is shy, or just thinks they are, go do something like this. Cheering for your favorite team (in my case, the New York Yankees
) can do wonders. You don't have to talk directly to anyone - all you really do is shout. You can't imagine how fun that is until you actually do it. 
To anyone here who is shy, or just thinks they are, go do something like this. Cheering for your favorite team (in my case, the New York Yankees
) can do wonders. You don't have to talk directly to anyone - all you really do is shout. You can't imagine how fun that is until you actually do it. 
That reminds me of one time when somebody thanked me for doing him a favor and apparently my brain couldn't decide whether to say "No problem" or "Any time," so I gave a jaunty wave and said, "No time!" Needless to say, the reaction was bewilderment.I meant to say "I'm happy to have you" but it came out "I'm not happy to have you".
It's like my brain reaches for the word to say but comes up with the opposite thing. For example, recently I was discussing with my mom about their impending visit and my mom was doing her usual insecure thing like "oh you sure you don't mind us staying at your apartment" and I meant to say "I'm happy to have you" but it came out "I'm not happy to have you".
I'm sure I've said equally stupid things to people I've just met and had wanted to impress but strangely enough I can not recall any specific cases at the moment.
Maybe you should look into this Aspergers thing...something is misfiring...have you tried smoking weed? LOL just kidding of course.
As shy as some people tend to be, there is always that instinct to become part of a larger group. I know how this feels...this summer when I was in New York City I spent time with the Bleacher Creatures in Yankee Stadium. That was, absolutely, a life changing experience for me. It was the most fun I have ever had doing anything at all.
To anyone here who is shy, or just thinks they are, go do something like this. Cheering for your favorite team (in my case, the New York Yankees
YOU LIE!!!!!!!!!! You said that you didn't have favorites and that you couldn't possibly pick. !
Now if ya woulda said "one of my favorite teams" all woulda been aiiight.
YOU LIE!!!!!!!!!! You said that you didn't have favorites and that you couldn't possibly pick. !
Huh?
Okay, I misspoke.
I like both the Yankees and Mets (I got raked over the damn coals in the Sports forum for saying that, though.. 
) but Citi Field doesn't have bleachers! So it may take awhile before we can form our own 'creatures' down there. 
Although I love it when they do the seventh inning stretch at Mets games and they play Lazy Mary. I love that song. Even though I can't understand a word of it.
Yes, I'm known for being very shy, although perhaps a better word would be "wary". The good news is that people seem to like me and I actually get along with the majority of people I meet very well. It comes very easily, really. It takes my friends forever to convince me to come out and do things with them though.
I am odd when it comes to shyness. Clearly the fact that I really only lurk is some indicator of shyness. I have an absolute inability to do small talk. Doesn't work. Can't do it, it gets awkward, so then I get nervous about being in situations where I need to small talk and I end up avoiding them. On top of that, I am not usually interested enough in the person to sit and ask the ridiculous and usual questions, like "Where are you from?" I genuinely don't care and I don't want to ask.
On the other hand, I have absolutely no problem giving a lecture to 200 people, even if I haven't prepared, I have no problem doing things like job interviews or meeting with my customers at work. In any situation where the parameters and roles are well defined, and where small talk isn't needed, I am outgoing and absolutely talkative.
I really do wish I could get over my lack of small talking skills and my social anxiety that comes from it. It really keeps me from making friends and getting to know people. But the older I get the worse I seem to get at it, so I guess that is just a part of myself that I need to accept.
On the other hand, I have absolutely no problem giving a lecture to 200 people, even if I haven't prepared, I have no problem doing things like job interviews or meeting with my customers at work. In any situation where the parameters and roles are well defined, and where small talk isn't needed, I am outgoing and absolutely talkative.
I really do wish I could get over my lack of small talking skills and my social anxiety that comes from it. It really keeps me from making friends and getting to know people. But the older I get the worse I seem to get at it, so I guess that is just a part of myself that I need to accept.
YOU LIE!!!!!!!!!! You said that you didn't have favorites and that you couldn't possibly pick. !
Huh?
Okay, I misspoke.
Although I love it when they do the seventh inning stretch at Mets games and they play Lazy Mary. I love that song. Even though I can't understand a word of it.
So your admitting that the skankees are your favorite.
Are you admitting that?? A Yes or no will do sir.
I wonder if there are more shy people than outgoing on the message board...there are a lot of shy people in this thread..that's for sure.
yep yep Im like this. I also dont like getting asked personal questions like where are you from? what do you do for a living? what school did you go to? etc...yeeesh.
where are all the shy people in Miami? it seems everyone here wants to talk my butt off!!!
Im shy when it comes to women. Cripplingly shy, unfortunately.
Yeah, I'm just like that too. I can do fine with people if they want to talk to me about something, but if it's just pointless chatter I can't do it. The more needlessly chatty the person I'm talking to is the more nervous I get. Groups are so much better because I can stay in the background and just comment when I have something to say. Unfortunately there's always one really outgoing person who keeps trying to drag me into the spotlight because they think I'm miserable. It's like living in constant fear of someone jumping out at you when you least expect it and scaring the hell out of you.
Cakes, you'd make a great lawyer. I've just been cross examined and I'm too amazed to even make a crude joke about legal briefs.
And yeah, while the Yankees and Mets are my two favorite teams, if I had to make a choice, I'd have to say the Yankees. But you already knew that about me, didn't you?
Oh well, I just got raked over the damn coals in Sports/Fitness about this, I suppose it was inevitable it'd happen here too.
Rii
Rear Admiral
I'm chronically introverted, although somewhat less so of late. I don't make friends and actively avoid social engagements. I've no desire to become an extroverted person, but the degree of my introversion has often been problematic.
I recently noticed that I still use reading as a defence mechanism against unwanted attention much as I did as a child. Some things never change.
This, although I also feel threatened in large groups, which usually manifests as either withdrawal or hostility depending on whether or not I'm forced to engage with the group. 3-5 is a good number.
I recently noticed that I still use reading as a defence mechanism against unwanted attention much as I did as a child. Some things never change.
This, although I also feel threatened in large groups, which usually manifests as either withdrawal or hostility depending on whether or not I'm forced to engage with the group. 3-5 is a good number.
I naturally describe myself as introverted, because I don't hang out with people just for the fun of it or jump up and down to join in on small talk. My social attitude is based strongly upon formality and professional reservation, which basically means that if I have some clear cut business to take care of and know what I need to do, I have all the confidence in the world, but when it comes to just having fun or making friends, I choose to spend my time alone.
If anything, I like to describe myself as having a rather Vulcan-like attitude toward life; neither shy or outgoing... just doing what is necessary to get the job done.
If anything, I like to describe myself as having a rather Vulcan-like attitude toward life; neither shy or outgoing... just doing what is necessary to get the job done.
Yes, I'm known for being very shy, although perhaps a better word would be "wary". The good news is that people seem to like me and I actually get along with the majority of people I meet very well. It comes very easily, really. It takes my friends forever to convince me to come out and do things with them though.
Well, at least your friends make the effort. Mine are always willing to do stuff with me when I suggest it, but few of them ever invite me to anything.
