Rii
Rear Admiral
I like how 'and it would be wrong' doesn't even get a look-in here. The human race has a long way to go.
Another guy kissed my girlfriend.
- Thread starter Tiberius Jim
- Start date
I like how 'and it would be wrong' doesn't even get a look-in here. The human race has a long way to go.
Pretty much this.
Two years ago, when I was on midnight shift, my husband's friend was the midnight manager and I was the midnight specialist (basically, I was one spot below him, his second in command). My husband wasn't on midnight shift that year. Anyways, his friend and I have spoken and joked around before, just co-worker jokes and chats, nothing else. Well, all midnight shift, he would hit on me like crazy......I obviously didn't do anything back, never kissed, nothing like that, but, the point is, this was his FRIEND and he still went ahead and hit on me....which is weird because friends shouldn't be doing that sort of thing to their friend's lover....that's just disrespectful.....but I never told my husband because I didn't want them to fight or anything and I can take care of myself....people need to respect other people's relationships, especially when it's your friend's girl/guy.....
Beating the shit out of the guy will get you NOWHERE. If you want to confront this dude, talk man to man and say 'hey man, my GF told me what happened.....let's handle this like mature men and you just back off'. That's all you need to say. Just let him know that you know the deal and maybe he will piss off. If he continues to harrass her, just get her to call the cops.
I havnt read thru this whole thread, just every 3rd page, but I'll give you some sage advice that was given to me a number of years by my Grandfather.
Sometimes, you just gotta put a hand on it.
in other words, turning the other cheek only works for so long, and there is only so much the law can do, until somthing really heinous is done, some times you just have to deal with things yourself. I know thats not a popular opinion on here, but none the less, sometimes a good ole fashioned ass-whoopin is the best medicine.
I know we like to think people are "civil" and will listen to reason, but thats just not always the case. Sometimes youve got to come down to their level to get your point across.
Sometimes, you just gotta put a hand on it.
in other words, turning the other cheek only works for so long, and there is only so much the law can do, until somthing really heinous is done, some times you just have to deal with things yourself. I know thats not a popular opinion on here, but none the less, sometimes a good ole fashioned ass-whoopin is the best medicine.
I know we like to think people are "civil" and will listen to reason, but thats just not always the case. Sometimes youve got to come down to their level to get your point across.
^what has the guy done that warrants violence, though? Flux would be the aggressor there, and be arrested for assault, whereas the guy didn't do anything wrong. Worst case, he's kinda creepy, but since the girl keeps responding to him, and NOT with a request to stop, not like he's even getting a clear signal there.
If she wanted it to stop, it would, one way or the other. Starting to think that she just likes the attention, even while 'complaining' about it to Flux. Maybe she likes the extra attention that jealousy gets her from HIM as well?
No other reason to keep playing the games, responding to text messages, etc.
If she wanted it to stop, it would, one way or the other. Starting to think that she just likes the attention, even while 'complaining' about it to Flux. Maybe she likes the extra attention that jealousy gets her from HIM as well?
No other reason to keep playing the games, responding to text messages, etc.
?
Where was the violence? The dude just acted like a high school kid and made a move on the chick by giving her a kiss. He didn't beat the shit out of her or anything. Not sure what 'violence' you got from this? Unless you were referring to something else.
If FC wants to get involved in it, I would just suggest that he kindly lets the guy know that it's not cool to do that shit....but only do that if his GF asks him to. Otherwise, like others have said, she handled it, got her point across, nothing else needs to be done unless this guy pushes forward with it. From what FC mentioned about the guy, he's apparently a stand up worker, just a bit weird (and people have different definitions of weird so he might be weird to some, normal to others).
The guys here should know that guys don't always think with the head above their shoulders. They don't care if you are taken or happy. They just get 'urges' and act upon them before thinking. This guy seems fairly normal, just a bit horny.
Even without all that, it's not the other guy's responsibility to "respect" their relationship. If he's interested, he's free to say so, or make a move. it's HER job to respect HER relationship. He's just offering another option. Flux doesn't have "dibs", and anyone that wants to can hit on her. It's HER job to sort it out, or tell people to stop, not some random dude that doesn't give a shit about Flux and his feelings. Nor should he.
this is true too.
I never said my advice was infoulable. Its not up to us to judge the situation and act accordingly, thats up to flux and his Girlfriend.
now this has only been a problem for the better part of a week, so time is still his friend, but at some point in the near, near future, he and his fairer half are going to have to make a choice, or this situation will become a major strain on their relationship. A confrontation is likely unavoidable now and confrontations often lead to altercations.
if it were me Flux, in this case, I think I would be a stand by my woman man, She needs to confront him, but I would say she also needs you right there with her as a security blanket. Dont do anything, unless forced to, Just Be there.
God knows Ive done more than my fair share of rushing in where angels fear to tread on behalf of Women, sometimes its ended badly, sometimes it hasnt, so yea, Ive been there.
.02 more cents from me
Edit; My page skipping has obviously caused me to miss some stuff, but if it remains a problem, then I believe this advice still stands
I never said my advice was infoulable. Its not up to us to judge the situation and act accordingly, thats up to flux and his Girlfriend.
now this has only been a problem for the better part of a week, so time is still his friend, but at some point in the near, near future, he and his fairer half are going to have to make a choice, or this situation will become a major strain on their relationship. A confrontation is likely unavoidable now and confrontations often lead to altercations.
if it were me Flux, in this case, I think I would be a stand by my woman man, She needs to confront him, but I would say she also needs you right there with her as a security blanket. Dont do anything, unless forced to, Just Be there.
God knows Ive done more than my fair share of rushing in where angels fear to tread on behalf of Women, sometimes its ended badly, sometimes it hasnt, so yea, Ive been there.
.02 more cents from me
Edit; My page skipping has obviously caused me to miss some stuff, but if it remains a problem, then I believe this advice still stands
Rii
Rear Admiral
Clearly you and I are reading different threads.
^ I think most of the people calling for this other guy's head on a pike still know it's wrong to do so, they just don't care.
@Scout: Not sure who you are responding to but if it was about my post, I am just talking about friends hitting on their friend's lovers. Sorry but that's just not cool. If it is just some random person, it's a bit different because they aren't your friend so they don't give two shits about you. A friend is a friend and they shouldn't be moving in on their friend's lady/man. IMO, it's up to BOTH parties to respect both the friendship and the relationship.
If that wasn't directed at me, ignore this rant, lol.
I totally understand the 'better safe than sorry' thing but you can't go assuming everyone who invites you over and kisses you is a flat out rapist. In HS, my friend had a party and the guy she liked started rubbing my feet and putting his arm around me....shit like that and he was totally normal and didn't try to rape me. I simply turned him down and since that day, he just said 'hey, what's up' and never tried anything again.
Being called a rapist is a pretty shitty thing to be called as well and I would hate to call a good person a rapist. This guy just seems to be a little immature for his age and he went about it the wrong way. Perhaps he just simply didn't know how else to get the point across and thought this was the right way when it wasn't.
It's a shame what happened to you but you can't use your exprience to call every guy who invites a chick over a rapist, that's just insane. This guy had her in his home, could have tied her up or grabbed her, threw her on the bed, locked the door....but he didn't. He kissed her, she told him to fuck off, she went home, safe and sound. If he were some kind of crazy rapist, she would have been at the doc right now getting tested. She isn't. The guy had the perfect chance to do anything sexual that he wanted to but he let her go home safely. I really doubt this guy is a serious threat at this point.
If that wasn't directed at me, ignore this rant, lol.
I totally understand the 'better safe than sorry' thing but you can't go assuming everyone who invites you over and kisses you is a flat out rapist. In HS, my friend had a party and the guy she liked started rubbing my feet and putting his arm around me....shit like that and he was totally normal and didn't try to rape me. I simply turned him down and since that day, he just said 'hey, what's up' and never tried anything again.
Being called a rapist is a pretty shitty thing to be called as well and I would hate to call a good person a rapist. This guy just seems to be a little immature for his age and he went about it the wrong way. Perhaps he just simply didn't know how else to get the point across and thought this was the right way when it wasn't.
It's a shame what happened to you but you can't use your exprience to call every guy who invites a chick over a rapist, that's just insane. This guy had her in his home, could have tied her up or grabbed her, threw her on the bed, locked the door....but he didn't. He kissed her, she told him to fuck off, she went home, safe and sound. If he were some kind of crazy rapist, she would have been at the doc right now getting tested. She isn't. The guy had the perfect chance to do anything sexual that he wanted to but he let her go home safely. I really doubt this guy is a serious threat at this point.
its not that we dont care, its just that sometimes, some things go beyond Right and Wrong, and I can see that there is a possibility that this could become one of those situations if not handled well.
Do I know what well is? given my track record the last few years, I'd say no. just trying to speak from experience.
Im very much of two minds on this.
Do I know what well is? given my track record the last few years, I'd say no. just trying to speak from experience.
Im very much of two minds on this.
Stop.
ya know, I used to be that way, wouldnt do anything "wrong" for any reason, but in my very own life Ive seen people I care about dearly get hurt, one get dead, because I valued my morals more than I valued them. I am very much of 2 minds about these types of situations. if you can put a stop to something before it gets bad, is it worth taking semi-drastic action? I dont know, maybe? I dont have all the answers, best advice I can ever give is, there is no perfect advice for any situation, its up you your and yours to do what you think is best, then to hope it ends up being best.
I think some people are overreacting here. As has been said, the guy didn't do anything worthy of getting his ass kicked...not yet anyway. He didn't try to rape her or force himself on her in anyway. What he did was a dick move, but that's it. The only way it would come to violence as far as I'm concerned is if he decides to throw a punch.I've been raised and through my karate training I was taught to never throw the first punch. Now if he had tried to get forcefully physical with her, that may be a different story, but most likely the authorities would be involved. The fact is that he made his move, and now what happens next depends on whether or not he calls of his little pursuit. He's met me, he knows what kind of relationship she and I have and she's made her lack of interest in him clear. If he backs off and decides to be fine with being her friend, cool. I still wouldn't want her hanging out with him again, but still that would be the preferred situation.
However, if he decides to keep going with his chase, he and I will have to have some words. But only words...unless he decides it needs to get physical.
However, if he decides to keep going with his chase, he and I will have to have some words. But only words...unless he decides it needs to get physical.
Why WOULD he back off, though? Your gf (and you through her text messages) AREN'T telling him to fuck off and leave her alone, you're continuing to play along with the game, so encouraging him. Maybe he's not seeing what he wants, but by continuing to chat with him, and be friendly, he's not getting a STOP message either. Until someone grows up and deals with the situation, I'd expect the texting and half-flirting to continue.
Scout - agree with you completely.
She's stringing the guy on. Whether she's doing it because she really does have a terror of confrontation or just because she likes the attention doesn't really matter.
The guy has expressed his interest in her (admittedly clumsily). He deserves a clear answer from her. It's the decent thing to do. But she's giving him nothing but decidedly mixed signals.
She should tell him, in no uncertain terms, that she has no interest in him and wants no more flirtatious behavior from him!
And she should stop texting with him! Now!
The guy has expressed his interest in her (admittedly clumsily). He deserves a clear answer from her. It's the decent thing to do. But she's giving him nothing but decidedly mixed signals.
She should tell him, in no uncertain terms, that she has no interest in him and wants no more flirtatious behavior from him!
And she should stop texting with him! Now!
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