• Welcome! The TrekBBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans.
    If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

All things RED Dwarf

Lister: Holly, we've been cornered by a t-rex that was formerly a sparrow and the only thing that can turn it back is in it's stomach. What's your take on the situation?
Holly: Do you want the short version, or the long?
Lister: Ooh. Long.
Holly: You're finished.
Cat: What's the short version?
Holly: Bye.

(Pete)
 
Last edited:
There's got to be a way out. There hasn't been a prison built that could hold Derek Custer. Why don't we scrape away this mortar here, slide one of these bricks out, then using a rope weaved from strands of this hessian, rig up a kind of a pulley system so that when a guard comes in, using it as a trip wire, gets laid out, and we put Rimmer in the guard's uniform, he leads us out, we steal some swords, and fight our way back to the 'bug.

Or, we could use the teleporter.
 
It has been a while since anyone asked, so...

Would anyone like some toast?


Sorry. Sorry.

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!* (hits his head against the wall)

Now maybe I can..WIN INDEPENDENCE FOR THE SOUTH MOLDAVIAN PEOPLE!

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!* (hits his head against the wall)

I think I'm alright now.
 
Last edited:
LISTER: There are only three alternatives. It thinks we're either a
threat, food, or a mate. It's gonna either kill us, eat us, or hump
us. We can either persuade it that we are not that sort of oceanic
salvage vessel or we scarper pronto.
CAT: To be diddled by a giant squid on the first date? Think how we'd
feel in the morning!
 
LISTER: Alright! So you fell in love and it all went horribly wrong, yeah. Join the club. Just you, me, and the rest of the human race. Look Rimmer, if you go around without feelin anything you'll be no better than a jellyfish. You'll be no better than a bank manager.

(Thanks for the Memory)
 
Last edited:
LISTER: Why do women always leave me for guys that smoke a pipe? I mean natural yogurt eaters. Guys that are obsessed with house prices, and drink wine. It is never beer, is it? It's always wine. What do you want on your cornflakes, darlin? I'll have some wine please. Guys that are obsessed with house prices, and go to antique sales looking for bargains. Reliable, dependible, sensible, and lots of other words that end in 'ibble'.
Smeg!

CAT: You can tell all that from a photograph?
 
Last edited:
https://twitter.com/RedDwarfHQ/status/1634162231951736833?cxt=HHwWgoC-zYn52q0tAAAA

Rob Grant and Doug Naylor are delighted to announce that the ongoing dispute over the Red Dwarf rights has been resolved.

Moving onwards and upwards, Rob and Doug hope to launch separate iterations of Red Dwarf across various media, working again with the cast and other valued partners, and wish each other the very best.

Smoke a kipper, Red dwarf will be back for breakfast!!

Just announced on the official Red dwarf twitter, and also on Rob Grant's twitter. I guess this means they'll both now do Red dwarf projects, and just not mess with each other. I'm assuming that Naylor will continue doing TV stuff, and Grant mostly doing other media things (that guess is just based on Naylor having been much more active in TV then Grant). I'm assuming othyer media would include stuff like books, maybe comics and audio drama type stuff, etc. Its a really nice announcement to get, especially since after I finished the show I assumed that would be it because of the rights issues.
 
Rimmer: Now this three-dimensional sculpture in particular is quite exquisite. Its simplicity, it’s bold, stark lines… pray, what do you call it?
Legion: The light switch.
Rimmer: The light switch.
Legion: Yes.
Rimmer: I couldn’t buy it, then?
Legion: Not really. I need it to turn the lights on and off.
 
Rimmer: Now this three-dimensional sculpture in particular is quite exquisite. Its simplicity, it’s bold, stark lines… pray, what do you call it?
Legion: The light switch.
Rimmer: The light switch.
Legion: Yes.
Rimmer: I couldn’t buy it, then?
Legion: Not really. I need it to turn the lights on and off.

:lol: Brilliant Red Dwarf humour.

“Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Oh God, now the siren’s bust. AWOOGA! AWOOGA! Abandon ship!”
 
Holly :”Abandon shop! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! Repeat this is not a daffodil! Abandon shop!”

Rimmer “Well, Holly seems uneffected.”
(or something like that)
 
Last edited:
“Sir, they’ve taken Mr Rimmer! SIR! They’ve taken Mr Rimmer!!”
“Quick! Let’s get outta here before they bring him back!!”
 
If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Sign up / Register


Back
Top