http://io9.com/#!5747318/10-reasons-the-star-trek-2-screenplay-still-isnt-done
Very funny.
Honestly though, what is the holdup?
Very funny.
Honestly though, what is the holdup?
10 reasons the script for STAR TREK2 isn't done yet
- Thread starter Flying Spaghetti Monster
- Start date
And the Number One reason the script for STAR TREK 2 isn't done yet:
- The fanboys haven't turned in all their canon violation complaints yet.
I refused to be rushed!
Just kidding, I only had three and I got them in before the deadline. 
I love it! Seriously, some of those ideas would make for an awesome movie. Douchebag Commodore, Klingon-Gorn Alliance, Sybok helping Scotty's little alien friend overcome has pain. This shit has to be in Trek XII, otherwise I'm boycotting the film.
And the Number One reason the script for STAR TREK 2 isn't done yet:
- The fanboys haven't turned in all their canon violation complaints yet.
I refused to be rushed!
Well, I'm here, whether y'all like it or not!
And the Number One reason the script for STAR TREK 2 isn't done yet:
- The fanboys haven't turned in all their canon violation complaints yet.
6,7, and 8 are my favs
That happens after the release of the film.
Their Blue Chocolate idea is pure genius. Also, it will help snack food sales in the lobby.
This sounds more like prediction than joke...
This sounds more like prediction than joke...
1. It takes a while for Spock to work up his teenage angst. I mean, that stuff doesn't grow on trees. It has to mature, like fine wine that makes adult fans writhe in agony.
2. More sex appeal required.
3. They need some other fancy camera technique to take advantage of since they've burned out the lens flare generator.
4. They needed to find a chick even more "exotic (cough CREEPY un-cough) looking" than Zoe Saldana to play Uhura.
5. Sorry, Abrams, but we still need more sex appeal. Come back when you've added a few more steamy romantic subplots.
2. More sex appeal required.
3. They need some other fancy camera technique to take advantage of since they've burned out the lens flare generator.
4. They needed to find a chick even more "exotic (cough CREEPY un-cough) looking" than Zoe Saldana to play Uhura.
5. Sorry, Abrams, but we still need more sex appeal. Come back when you've added a few more steamy romantic subplots.
OK, how about this: The cast from the 23rd century version of Bay Watch get abducted by aliens and ... . Keep it for the third movie? Yeah, you're probably right.
10. New du ex mechanic needed for film that isn't red matter.
9. people complained about brewery, need to replace it with set for engineering, this takes time to build.
8. tighter, more reviling uniforms on EVERYBODY.
7. less lens flares, need to redo all the sets that have extra bright lights on them, this takes time.
6. less shaky cam, we need to switch JJ to decafe so he's not so jittery behind the camera, he's going to caffeine anon meetings in his free time.
5. Leslie Moonves needs to eat crow & show the first film on CBS, in prime time, the jerk still hates all things Star Trek, even with all the money he's raked in from the first film & reruns.
4. Paramount is still swimming in the cash they've made from the first film & really in a rush to make another one as they're not really hurting financially currently.
3. Corporate Headquarters is debating what TOS elements to use this time around seeing as they blew their load in the first film when it came to TOS easter eggs, so they're wachin every TOS episode & the 6 films for more goodies to TOS our way.
2. The ship parts won't be in..... 'till Tuesday.
And the number one reason the second film isn't done yet....
David Letterman hasn't done a top ten list for the first film yet !
9. people complained about brewery, need to replace it with set for engineering, this takes time to build.
8. tighter, more reviling uniforms on EVERYBODY.
7. less lens flares, need to redo all the sets that have extra bright lights on them, this takes time.
6. less shaky cam, we need to switch JJ to decafe so he's not so jittery behind the camera, he's going to caffeine anon meetings in his free time.
5. Leslie Moonves needs to eat crow & show the first film on CBS, in prime time, the jerk still hates all things Star Trek, even with all the money he's raked in from the first film & reruns.
4. Paramount is still swimming in the cash they've made from the first film & really in a rush to make another one as they're not really hurting financially currently.
3. Corporate Headquarters is debating what TOS elements to use this time around seeing as they blew their load in the first film when it came to TOS easter eggs, so they're wachin every TOS episode & the 6 films for more goodies to TOS our way.
2. The ship parts won't be in..... 'till Tuesday.
And the number one reason the second film isn't done yet....
David Letterman hasn't done a top ten list for the first film yet !
Don't forget reason #11: Tim Russ is stalking the writers, barging in on their sessions and tearfully pleading for a major subplot involving Tuvok and a (formerly cryogenically frozen) T'Pol being stranded on Riza and making sweet, sweet whoopee!
Fairly lame humor, actually. Sector 7's was funnier.
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