Voyager Caption Contest 121: Something's Wrong Here

[Schistocerca]

Chakotay: "I'm sick, sing me soft puppy."
Nurse: "Don't you mean soft ki..."
Chakotay: "No, the lawyers are getting uptight about copyright, sing me soft puppy!!"
Nurse: "Ok....soft puppy warm puppy little ball of fluff, happy puppy sleepy puppy..wuff wuff wuff."

 

[Triskelion]

Chakotay: You know, for a starship, Voyager has a great set of nacelles.
Torres: Ok, you need to get space laid.

 

[LeadHead]

Chakotay: It's a sign from my people's ancient beliefs!

Torres: That's right, people. It's a Chakotay-spiritual episode. Here's the clicker, no one would blame you.

 

[Drone]

"You call yourself a cook?? I was up all night as sick as someone that's just contracted the Phage!!! I demand the right to register a complaint with whoever you people have representing your interests in this quadrant and not a member of the crew!!!"

Doc "Well, sir, by the best of our reckoning, you are probably looking right at him."

FACEPALM!!!!


Neelix and his Auspicious start as the Federation's Ambassador to the DQ!!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAKOTAY: Beam me up! Beam me up! Why isn't this working?

TORRES: You have to use your communicator.

 

[Captain Kathryn]

CHAKOTAY: Beam me up! Beam me up! Why isn't this working?

TORRES: You have to use your communicator.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Chakotay: That shooting star reminds me of my feelings for Kathryn; I don't quite know how to put my love into words.
Torres: Considering that you're watching a rapidly disintegrating piece of space dirt, I wouldn't try.

Doctor: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!
Janeway: What's wrong, doctor?!
Doctor, abruptly calm: Oh, nothing.

Command Hologram: Gentlemen, here are your opponents. Let the Faceoff of Unctuousness begin!

Blonde: Oh, no, not again. Can't I take a man to bed without him dyin' on me?!

Janeway: I thought we were agreed, this was to a peaceful conference. We came in good faith to talk with you.
Hirogen: We Hirogen are especially demonstrative when we talk.

 

[CaptainJon]

Chakotay: THERE ARE FIVE LIGHTS!!!

 

[Triskelion]

Chakotay: Candy corn, Bones. Who ate...all the...CANDY CORN?!
B'Elanna: Needs work.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Hello gentlemen, I am Richard Woolsey. This is Ronan Dex and Doctor McCay.

CHAKOTAY: Mmmm, yeah Seven, just like that.
FRAZER: Seven? Who the hell is Seven? And how did you get involved with her?

Janeway soon learned the hard way, never take a holo emitter to a phaser fight.

 

[Triskelion]

Torres: Is your spirit guide talking to you?
Chakotay: Um, yes....
Torres: Is it saying "Don't wear a speedo on a hike?"

Next time I tell Torres I want to express myself, I'll trim my fingernails first!

Alien: Who are you, the before picture in a barber shop?

 

[Finn]

The Awesome Tom Paris' Log: Tuvok has been away with Seven and the Captain for a week now. Things has gotten so boring here on Voyager so I've programmed the Doc to experience diarrhea every half an hour.

 

[LeadHead]

Chakotay: Wow! Tom, that's a beautiful painting. What's the occaision?

Paris: B'Elanna and my anniversary, get lost.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

DOCTOR: Chief medical officer's log. My sexuality subroutine appears to be...nggh...m-halfunctioning!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"What do you mean, the Spurs won?!?"

 

[Triskelion]

Chakotay: I sense a great disturbance in the Force - as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Torres: Yeah I just photon torpedoed a crapload of these little teddy bear things.

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Chakotay ... none of that was real! It was just me, pranking you."

"But I can feel The Force!"

 

[Captain Kathryn]

"Chakotay ... none of that was real! It was just me, pranking you."

"But I can feel The Force!"

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

Chakotay: "I think I'm gonna sneeze...or not...yep, definitely about to sneeze...oh, come on...dammit, don't you hate it when you feel like you're going to sneeze but you don't?"

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Gonna post a new contest tonight or tomorrow!