TOS Caption Contest #278: A Caption of Armageddon

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! I'm on time! No, it's not the end of the world, but this next contest includes images from "A Taste of Armageddon!"

First up to the plate, we have the "Set Construction Materials" Award, going to:

KIRK: Check again Sulu, no way is this planet made from plywood and styro foam.

Next, we have the "THANK YOU!" Award, going to:

Scott: Aye, sir, that's the last of them. We've finally managed to purge from the ship's computer every last copy of your rendition of The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins...

Next, we have the "Understandable Confusion" Award, going to:

Bones: "Jim, are you out of your mind? You have to wait for someone else to kill the redshirts."

Next, we have the "Crossover" Award, going to:

Losira: Help me, Obi Vulcanobi. You're my only hope.

Next, we have the "You can continue this in the transporter room, if you really need to" Award, going to:

KIRK: ... ... ...
SPOCK: I'm sorry to interrupt your dramatic pause, captain, but the planet is about to explode.

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Are ye satisfied, Mister Spock?
I am indeed, Mister Scott. I am indeed.

SCOTT: Seriously, Mr. Spock, you'll never need more than 64K of RAM!

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Anon 7: Wow, ios 7 really isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Kirk: (over comm) ...And if Bones is on the bridge, tell him to get his sorry butt down to sickbay and do his job instead of looking over your shoulder!

Spock: My mind to your... oops. There's nobody there.

Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise. We're not just trying to save this society. We're gonna rob the joint.

Kirk: That'll teach ya to never install fire extinguishers in your public buildings.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: Spock?

Spock: Most intriguing, Captain. It would appear that the inhabitants of this world do, in fact, pass the dutchie on the left hand side.

 

[Nerys Myk]

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: They were right, the art is well hung.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Eminiarian Director: See? We just add more of these lens flares, and it will make our movie look much more edgy and cool!

Yeoman: You heard me. When I walked in, that's EXACTLY what McCoy was doing to that tribble!
Uhura: !!!
Scott: ...
McCoy (thinking): Aw, crap.

Another failed mind meld confirmed for Spock that "If these walls could talk" was pretty much an empty threat.

First contact protocols or no, Kirk was reluctant to take part in the Stivarian ambassador's ritual naked greeting dance.

Anan 7: Ta daaaa!!
Kirk: Oh my God, Spock! Did you see that? They just appeared out of nowhere!
Spock: I am afraid, Captain, that it was literally done with smoke and mirrors.

 

[Maurice]

Thanks for the win! Though I was sure I'd aced it with the Barbara Eden gag. Oh well.

EMINIAN LACKEY: There's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port.

UHURA: Actually, General Order 24 specifies broadcasting The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins at the planet 24/7, but the result is the same.

Spock's mind meld with the sapient Andorian Cottage Cheese delegation ended in tragedy when a misunderstanding led to the Ambassador being served atop a spinach and walnut salad.

KIRK: Whadda ya know, not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place.

ANAN 7: See? Our fog does rival your San Francisco's!

EMINIAN LACKEY: There's no way I can repel the attack from Vendikar without more quarters!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Scotty: "Saints preserve us! Did Yeoman Miller just ask Lieutenant Uhura what I think she did?"

Spock: "I sense...great danger."
Kirk: "Enemy troops coming?"
Spock: "No. This wall is blown asbestos."

Kirk: "Alright, put your hands down, put some pants on, and take me to your leader."

Anon: "Excuse me, gentlemen, can you help us? We're looking for the non-smoking section."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Dammit, Spock! Can't you just use a stud finder like everyone else?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

T'Pring (o.s.): Spock, I heard you say that talking to me is like talking to a wall. I didn't know you meant it literally.

Spinal Tap's latest stage show left much to be desired.

Kirk: Ambassador Gaga, we've been ordered to escort you to Starbase 47...

Sar: My wife's ultrasound.

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW Leadhead!

Blonde: I saw Doctor McCoy in a hospital gown. It's...nothing to write home about.
Scotty: Stop pushing the stewardess button, Doctor.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Kirk: "Wow Mr Sulu's has a rare stature of Miley Cyrus at the end of her career in 2014, after all that Twerking."

 

[BoredShipCapt'n]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Sar-6: "Sir, we've been tricked! They left a raw ostrich egg in the microwave and set it on 'Kablooie'!"

Scotty: "What is it, Doctor?"
Bones: "I just figured out who stole my curlers!"

Spock: "Fascinating. After my experience with the Horta, it seems I can communicate with any silicon-based material. Lieutenant Uhura, may I see you a moment?"

Kirk: "All right, Anan, I've found the missing piece, but I'm not sure where it goes."

Anan-7: "I told you men not to eat the three-bean chili the Vendikans sent as a peace offering!"

 

[Alpha_Geek]

LOOK! That Kleg light fell on Shatner's bicycle!

McCoy: Scotty, tell me about that new hot blonde comm officer...
Uhura: Ahh....
Scotty: ....
McCoy: *she's standing right behind me, isn't she...*

Captain, you are correct. This is not rich Corinthian leather.

Kirk: That's right. Keep your hands on top of your head... and tell me about the lovemaking of your species, starwoman!

Rare frame of footage from the Bob Marley cameo that was edited out of the episode

 

[JohnChod]

Man on Right: "Don't fret, sir. ROVER won't let Number 6 get very far."
Man on Left: "What in blazes are you babbling about man?"

 

[bbjeg]

Yeoman: Uhura, did you get that new special exam done by Bones yet? My inner thighs are still soar.
Uhura: What special exam?

Spock: Mmmhmm... ahh... I see... No, you can't mind meld a wall.

Anan-7: Oh shoot, it's the feds. Me and my friends have glaucoma, I swear.

 

[Maurice]

Yeoman: Uhura, did you get that new special exam done by Bones yet? My inner thighs are still soar.

I think you mean "sore", unless you're implying her legs flew into the air.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Spock quickly realized where he had heard the word "cyanoacrylate" before.

 

[Triskelion]

Yeoman: I just helped the Captain go where no man has gone before.

Uhura: Where, your armpit?

This wall is pregnant.

Kirk: Fog machine?
Anan-7: Haggis buffet.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Kirk: Giorgio Tsoukalos was right! The National Film Board of Canada logo was inspired by aliens!

McCoy: Waaayyyyy too obscure, Jim.