Also I know what you mean by the feeling being off, it's like something is missing or Star Trek is trying to be something it isn't and it ain't working out.
Aren't you someone who admits to not having watched all of TOS? Star Trek: The Original Series and Modern Trek are two distinct animals. Star Trek was action-adventure and Modern Trek was more of a straight drama. So if you hold the Abrams films against Modern Trek, obviously something will feel 'off'.
Whether or not a person likes or dislikes the films, I don't think there's much argument that they were built in the image of TOS, not the spin-offs.
I am very much aware of the feel of TOS, Modern Trek and every Star Trek series (barring the TAS which I have not seen) and movie. But TOS, Modern Trek and JJ Trek are three separate animals, while JJ Trek is a blending of TOS and Modern Trek.
The reason why I've watched parts of TOS is because there was too much campy nonsense and silliness, a pity really because when it focused on morality and ethics TOS really shined. Also what I saw of TOS strongly reminded me of TNG's season 1 which is one of the worst seasons of any Trek series I have ever seen.
I'm glad TNG got its act together and removed some of the campy 'fun' and sillyness. Finally DS9 got it right and was the first Trek series were I felt the characters were actual people, they were not the squeaky clean characters of TNG. One thing I will say for TOS, its characters felt more like people but that was smothered with a plethora of crazy hijinks and mad plots!
Personally Modern Trek got its bad name because of VOY and ENT, if Modern Trek had ended with DS9 in 1999 I think it would have been viewed in a more favourable light.
And talking about fun and what not. DS9 did satire, dark humour and comedy the best even though it had at times some of the heaviest moments in Star Trek. IMO Star Trek's finest moments occurred when things became very serious or very deep: The Inner Light, Sins of the Father, The Chain of Command, Duet, Improbable Cause, In the Pale Moonlight, Inter Arma Silent Enim Leges, Year of Hell and so forth. Moments which flowed and did not feel forced.
The same applies with the movies: TWOK, TUC and First Contact. Those were some heavy muthas...
Granted TOS was a bit more imaginative with the sci-fi, but those ideas were not so fully explored. With modern trek you have Data, the Borg, the Prophets, the Nexus, changelings. These are sci-fi concepts which we are still talking about even now.
And that's why I liked Star Trek 09 because it had some fun moments, it had some crazy action sequences, some weird sci-fi and some thoughtful moments with the characters. The scenes concerning Spock's juvenile days felt very much akin to Modern Trek, though I'm certain having Spock Prime also helped. Star Trek 09 was a great balance between TOS and Modern Trek, and while ST 09 is not one of my favourite Trek movies, there was a clear vision behind it and JJ Abrams was on the ball with it. It was a great balancing of TOS and Modern Trek.
STID was missing some of that razor sharpness of ST 09, the action sequences lacked that extra oomph which made it more engaging, and strangely the characters became less engaging as the movie wore on. Consider the space suit scene in both ST 09 and STID. ST 09's version was ten times better while STID's was offski.
It feels as if STID has lost its identity, its focus or even its very purpose. Is this new universe designed to revisit Star Trek greatest moments, or is it to search for its own moments of glory and greatness? If TWOK was ST's biggest hit, then STID feels like a remastering and an updated version- yet it lacks TWOK's soul.
That's why I feel something is off with STID.