TNG Caption This! 282: Happy Star Trek Day!

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to September 8th, 2012! A time for Trek, a time for Captioning and a time for Winners!

First up to the plate, we have "The Good, The Bad and the LOL" Award, going to:

Riker: "How many times have I told you? No Eastwooding on duty."

Next, we have the "There's a 'thing longer' joke I could make here," Award, going to:

Barklay: How on earth did you ever come up with this diagnosis?!
Crusher: It was quite simple, really. I just asked this "What If Machine" that Dr. Farnsworth sent me while we were dating.

Next, we have the "There's no business like show business" Award, going to:

Crusher was a cruel taskmaster when it came to dance.

CRUSHER: Get that hip out!!!!!!

Next, we have the "Failed Anonymity" Award, going to:

Riker: So, do you want to explain why this "Letter to Penthouse" sounds so familiar and is signed I.M. Zadi?

Next, we have the "Photo Bomber" Award, going to:

Bond Fans: OUT OF THE WAY FRAKES!!!! WE WANT A PICTURE OF GENERAL GOGOL!!!!!!

Our Photoshop award goes to:

Riker: " ... and the Captain feels that posting nudes of yourself in spacebook is inappropriate."

Troi: "She looks nothing like me, those moles are on the wrong side."

Riker: "Deanna, you took the picture using your bathroom mirror."

Barclay: See, there's something wrong with this game. The princess is always in another castle!

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

In honor of Star Trek Day, I wanted this contest to have two things, Blu-Ray images and some of the wonder and the scope of Trek. I hope you like this weeks photo selections.

As for a proper 25th Anniversary Celebration/100 LeadHead contests celebration, that will kick off the 22nd of this month. More details to come!

And now, lets caption!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Almost, keep going....

Picard: Touchdown!

Troi: Does anybody remember when we used to get work done around here?

Ferengi: Hey! I'm here in the background! Look at me!

Riker: Is she totally...

Data: Yes Sir!

Picard: Helm, I did not tell you to take us to the Wonka Chocolate Factory!

Data: Hey! You! Take a Picture, it'll last longer!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Picard: There are 4,444 lights!

 

[MickJo1701]

PICARD: Stone the crows, I love the girls from Daled IV.

Out of the way!, cheesy 80's effect coming through.

DATA: Commander, I believe I'm experiencing arousal, its an intriguing sensation.

Picard disapproved of Geordi using the visual acuity transmitter in the tub.

BRENT: Hey, why wasn't my contact lens fixed in the remastering process? This is worse than the missing phaser beam.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead! Happy Star Trek Day!

Yar: That's it? Really? What about that statue with the three toes? And what about Walt? What was the deal with that? Next time, I pick the show. I've been hearing great things about Battlestar Galactica. Finally, a show we'll be able to watch without being disappointed by the ending!

Ferengi:Hey, Portal 63, pass it to me, I'm open!

Data: Sir...is that you in the future?
Riker: Remind me to pass on desert tonight and, well, every night. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get to the gym...

Captain Picard: Is this that "blue ray" everyone seems to be talking about?

Do you ever get the feeling that, in an alternate reality (Russia, perhaps), the pictures are captioning you?

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: So, this is what folks called "baseball". Any chance it will be over this century?

INDY (os): Marion, don't look at it. Shut your eyes, Marion. Don't look at it, no matter what happens!

DATA: Intriguing, this is a new ship, yet the corridors resemble ones from almost one hundred years ago.

RIKER: Just how much LSD did you slip in the Captain's tea anyway?

DATA: Pinnochio? Does that idiot know how insulting that sounded? I have a good mind to kick his idiot human ass!!!

He's right behind me, isn't he?

 

[T'Girl]

Picard: "We have an enormous, heavily armed starship.
LaForge: "A crew of over a thousand."
Data: " And we're back by the full faith of the Federation."
Troi: "What shall we do first?"
Riker: "Let's sit here and watch TV."

 

[Isis]

LeadHead, TFTW.

Riker (to self): "This dramatization of an earlier Enterprise's missions is interesting, but I think all those women would have found me more awesome."

What nuStar Trek would look like in an alternate universe where JJ Abrams is gay.

When TOS got the spotlight on Star Trek's 46th anniversary, the Enterprise-D crew saw red.

The TNG animated series was not well received.

Data: "Perhaps it was fool-hardy to try the plomeek."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Director (OS): "And...action!"
Stewart (thinking): "Here we go! First scene of the first episode of our new Star Trek series! I must remember, I'm the stalwart captain. I must project strength and confidence."
Frakes (thinking): "What's my motivation here? Right, I'm the gallant first officer. Totally loyal to my captain and ready to leap into action at a moment's notice."
Spiner (thinking): "I am an android. A machine, but also a thinking creature fascinated by humans. I must be careful not to show too much emotion on my face, but still to always present an air of wonder."
Burton (thinking): "I can't see a damned thing!"

 

[Holdfast]

PICARD: So... why aren't we moving?
GEORDI: Um... checking... ah... uh... someone forgot to fill her up?

*RIKER uses Air Cutter!*
*DATA uses Air Cutter!*

It's not very effective.

DATA: Yes Commander. If my calculations are correct, the girls locker room should be directly behind this bulkhead.
RIKER: Good work Mr Data, very good work.

PICARD: Let me guess, we're doing Hansel & Gretel in Space this week?

That awkward moment where you realise you've left the magnetic clamps on dilithium chamber unlocked.

 

[T'Girl]

LeadHead, TFTW.

Riker (to self): "This dramatization of an earlier Enterprise's missions is interesting, but I think all those women would have found me more awesome."

Riker: "I'm really a hater of this "Trip" guy, I think I'll create a half-assed holodeck adventure where he dies young, instead of living the long life he actually did.

Data: "I enjoy having a red uniform."

Riker: "About that, the Captain thinks that a gold uniform would go better with your complexion."

Data: "But that's idiotic, I'm the second officer, he wants to change my uniform owing to my skin color?"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks for the win!

His Warrior pride meant Worf couldn't bring himself to ask anyone how to switch the computer on.

Riker: What is that?

Data: Any chance of the Ferengi becoming a credible enemy blowing past.

Data: Sir, why do we never get invited to the good parties?

Picard: I refuse to belive in fairies no matter how much they might believe in me.

Data: The webcam into the Borg Queen's bedroom has been successfully set up Sir. Why did the Captain want it?

 

[MickJo1701]

PICARD: Warp 8, any heading. Engage!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Data: "Well...they do say these Galaxy-class ships have everything."
Riker: "I know, but...a full-service Kinko's?"

 

[Xaios]

Thanks for the win!
_____________________________

The bridge crew of the Enterprise looked on helplessly as Wesley's shuttle was devoured by the interstellar space slug, knowing that, even though the ship was fully functional, phasers were charged, photon torpedoes were loaded, shields were raised, controls were responding, no one had been replaced by an evil clone, there were no other immediate threats, they weren't stuck in a time-freezing spacial distortion, they could alter the shuttle's trajectory remotely and the cargo bays were loaded with surplus supplies of Andorian salt... there was just nothing they could do.

Picard: It's a good thing that Beverley accidentally locked herself in her quarters this morning so that she wouldn't have to see this. Wouldn't you agree Number 1?
_____________________________

Special Effects Guy: Dammit, Denise was supposed to be standing there! Oh well, we'll get her eventually.
_____________________________

Data: Sir, why does the Enterprise have a red light section?
Riker: After seeing how much dilithium and antimatter Kirk wasted ferrying himself between alien women, they figured it would just be easier to carry a compliment on board.
Data: Ah. I take it Starfleet Command implemented your proposal, then?
_____________________________

Riker: As you can see Data, they were able to resurrect Captain Spock because the Genesis Effect regenerated his body. Just goes to show that things strange things can happen in real life, even if they would have been viewed as a cheap plot contrivance in literature.
Data: Interesting...

 

[T'Girl]

Picard: "This is what we're out here for, to discover new life and new civil ..."

Data (os): "Actually Sir, owing to a ongoing malfunction in the life support system we've been forced to dump the crew's urine into space for the last few minutes."

Picard: "So this is?"

Data (os): "Frozen pee Sir."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Stewart: Uniform...too tight... choking me...help...

 

[Isis]

The TNG-Fantastic Voyage crossover was not well received.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "We have to find a way out of here. But first...take a screenshot of this. This would make for some bitchin' wallpaper for my ready room!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: Wait... did we just go faster than Warp 10?

Geordi: Yep.

Picard: Isn't that supposed to turn you into a randy space slug or something?

Geordi: Theoretically, but don't worry Sir, Doctor Crusher has already thought of that and prepared a SPACE cure that will prevent it. After all, on average, each Star Fleet officer gets horribly mutated by poorly researched science about once a month (more when Braga's writing). You'd have to be the worst crew in the fleet to not expect and anticipate that.

Picard: You mean like the sort who'd take more than five minutes to get back home from here? Sucks to be them.