VOY Caption This 83; Curiosity Killed The Cat...

[Ln X]

Sorry for the delay, I've been a bit busy with degree work but I kicked my lazy ass into gear, so we have:

///

The Tribble's Award goes to:

Janeway: How much longer can we keep them out?

Seven: As long as their fur doesn't interact with the plasma relays we shouldn't experience any problems.

Janeway: *sigh* Of course I would have the luck to incur the wrath of the tribbles.

Seven: I'd say more like the wrath of the Quadrant.

///

The pimp-master award goes to:

EMH: Oh, the pimp hand is strong, but the pimp cane is stronger!

///

The coffee-jokes-never-fail award goes to:

Janeway: "Q. Bring the coffee back. All of it."

///

The continued-degradation-of-pop award goes to:

"Faster Than Light, No Left Or Right" was the third most popular song in Voyager: the Musical, behind only Tuvok's "Terror Tu The T" rap number and Janeway's incredible solo, "Magic Beans".

///

The desperate-for-Spacebook-views award goes to:

Janeway never had much to put on her Spacebook page she started strategically placing herself near arguments among crew members.

And now the special award:

Doc: Madness? This...is... SICKBAY!

300 jokes aside, here is the photoshop winner:

PARIS: Eyes on the road???? Please, these things pretty much drive them selves...what's that beeping noise?

///
///
///
///
///

Congrats to the winners!

Next bunch of pictures to be captioned are:

Next contest will be up in about eight or so days from now.

Have fun!

 

[Ln X]

Tom: Do you think there's a future for us?
Torres: Um... No.

Doctor: As I'm captain don't think for one second Mr Kim that you are about to be promoted.

Chakotay: They look like brains!
Torres: They are brains!
Chakotay: Really?
Torres: Can't believe you fell for that one Chakotay.

Coffee has been found...

Kes: Ever heard of ascent to transcendence?

 

[R. Star]

Paris: I didn't mean to shove it into the anti-matter reactor...
Torres: That was my favorite stuffed targ, I had him since I was a girl.

Kim: Can I have a promotion now, Captain?
Doctor: Oh very well, since you helped me overthrow Captain Janeway and your medical readings are showing a pair of balls however small, you are hereby promoted to Senior Ensign.

Chakotay: This is what's under my pillow?!
Torres: These are sucking out your soul and willpower when you sleep. That's why you've been so submissive to Janeway these past five years when you used to be so lively.

Janeway's reaction to learning she just mated with Paris in Threshold.

Kim: I'm not letting you bury me in the sand!
Torres: Come on Harry, it'll be fun!

 

[Cmdr.Druss]

EMH: Damn it Kim, I'm a Captain not a Doctor!

 

[Mistral]

Paris: "New caption contest."

Torres: "I noticed."

Paris: "Got any ideas?"

Torres: "Not a one."

 

[Mistral]

"A new caption contest!?!"

 

[Bob Karo]

Tom begins humming "The Girl From Ipanema" because of course he does.

 

[boco]

Torres: Get up,ensign!
Kim: It's LT , B'Elanna!
Torres: Kes, do smth, he's hallucinating ...

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

That moment where you wish you'd taken the stairs instead.

Kim: "Boy, your time in command has really rocked, eh?"

Doctor: "Wow. That was a stretch."

Chakotay: "So that's where all the Cauliflower went."

Janeway: "You mean there's a way to get my crew home? And I can destroy it?!" Oh boy!"

Kes: "What's the bad news?"

Torres: "Our shuttle only has enough power to carry two people."

Kim: "What?"

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Ah. Here's the entry. On Stardate 46578.3, Captain Janeway specifically said, 'You'll get your promotion over my dead body and the bodies of everybody on this ship.' Since, technically, you don't have a body, being comprised of photons and force fields, can I have my promotion?"

 

[Finn]

Tom Paris: *thinking* I could take her to the spa resorts in the caves of Rigel IV and rip each other's clothes off in a passionate embrace of sexual pleasure...

B'Elanna: *thinking* After aligning the subisolinear Alpha wave relays, I think I'll take a hot bath with some Ktarian tea and watch Nottingham Hill.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"When we get to the Bridge, I'm having Harry scan this turbolift for lifeforms, because I think the flatulence from those Klingon enchiladas have gained sentience."

"It's a good thing you're sitting down, Doc. I don't want to alarm you, but according to these sensor readings, we're in an asteroid."

"Alright, B'Elanna, we've seen what happens when these things are exposed to spores from cheese. Now, let's see what happens when we expose them to some LDS!"

"Oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

"Getting thrown into the Delta Quadrant, getting probed by the Caretaker, infected with some weird alien virus, climbing up a never-ending staircase into the desert... there had better be a promotion involved in all this when we get back to Earth, or there'll be some hell to pay!"

 

[Cmdr.Druss]

Torres: "I can't believe you slept with the Captain"
Paris: "Turn into a lizard and i'll sleep with you too"

Kim: "According to sensor readings...that's no moon!"

Chakotay: "The replicators are broken. It's these gel packs or Neelix's cooking"

Janeway suddenly realised Tuvok's dinner invitation came during Pon Farr

Kim: "Are we really going to listen to her?"
Torres: "She might be a child but she's smarter than you"

 

[Violet.Phoenix]

Thanks for the double win!

Upon discovering an alien T-Rex outside the turbolift, Tom and B'Elanna put on their best "Don't eat me, I'm not real" faces.

Harry: "Well, Doc, I have a report that's going to rock your holomatrix."

Doc: "If it weren't for the lack of crew members I'd demote you for that one."

B'Elanna: "Oh great."

Chakotay: "What?"

B'Elanna: "We kept those damn tribbles out of the plasma relays and instead they get into the gel packs. I'm going to be getting fur out of these things for days!"

Chakotay: "I'll get you a lint brush."

Janeway makes the very unfortunate discovery of her fate in Before Dishonor....

Sadly, the Ocampan version of kumbaya never caught on with Harry and B'Elanna.

 

[Ln X]

"A new caption contest!?!"

The next one will have Chakotay to?

 

[BirdInJetstream]

Paris: (Her targ is humping my leg again!)
Torres: (This is so embarrasing...)

Kim: "You want me to configure your holomatrix to make you look like Janeway, so you can fool the crew?"

Gelpack1: "OMG... They really exist!"
Gelpack 2: "I told you so!"
Gelpack 3: "I am scared."

Here we see Janeways 47th attempt to catch the jelly baby which Tuvok is tossing.

 

[Nerys Myk]

The gel packs were created by man. They evolved. They rebelled. There are many copies. And they have a plan.

 

[T'Girl]

Kim: "You want me to configure your holomatrix to make you look ...

Kim: ... act and think like James T. Kirk. So that you can get us all back to the Federation by the end of this episode?

What a great idea, should have thought of this sooner.

 

[JanewayRulz!]

B'Elanna: What do you mean when you say you forgot to get your contraceptive shot last quarter?

Harry: Here's a computer algorhythm I designed to track down all the women Tom has been with in the last 3 months, complete with frequency of encounters and likelihood of successfull fertilization based on Human/Alien DNA.

Chakotay: I don't know... I think I like the old fashioned way, you know, where the child grows inside the Mother.

B'Elanna: Sure you do, you're a guy... but I don't see Tom volunteering to go through 9 months of morning sickness, back aches and fluid retention, do you?

Janeway: You forgot WHAT last quarter?!!?!!?

Kes: Do you think its safe enough to go back on board yet?

Harry: I don't think so... I think I can still hear Janeway scream all the way down here!

B'Elanna: Sigh. I'm really gonna miss Tom. Harry, ever want to be a surrogate Father?

 

[Nerys Myk]

TORRES: Relax, Harry. I said, "Kes, we may not make it out." not "Kes, do you wanna make out?"