TNG Caption This! 273: Everybody just have a good time

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday to everyone! Since I was so tardy with the last contest, I thought that I should be really on time with this one!

However, due to the supershort time frame for the last one, I will continue to accept submissions on it through the end of this one. If there's some new winners that need to be crowned, they will be!

First up to the plate, we have the "Magic" Award, going to:

Picard: There's this great trick I learnt in Vegas where you can take a womans bra off without removing her top.. you just need too...


*rustle rustle rustle rustle*


Nggghhhh nearly got it.

O'Brien: Sir!


Keiko: No Miles, I want to see the trick!

Next, we have the "I'm really glad my toast didn't have that problem!" Award, going to:

Picard: And may they have a long and happy life together, filled with family, friends, many children, a house with a two-shuttle garage, unlimited communication minutes...
Crusher: Sorry Deanna - you know how he gets when he's had a few too many.

Next, we have "The Deal's Off!" Award, going to:

Frakes: "I thought you and I had a gentlemen's agreement: No lifts!"
Stewart: "All's fair in love, war and primetime TV!"
McFadden: "If that's the case, then to hell with Marina and Denise; I'm buying a Wonderbra!"

Next, we have the "Casting" Award, going to:

Brent: *thinking* Only if they had picked Denise for her role...

Next, we have the "Well, that didn't take long..." Award, going to:

Keiko: If I was married to you I'd put poison in your tea!
O'brien: If I was married to you I'd drink it!

Given the short time on this contest, I bet there wasn't time for ppl to do photoshops, so I'll save this for later. If there none than I'll post an extra award next time!

O'Brien: Honk honk! Look at me, I have a wineglass on my nose!

Keiko: ...Would this qualify as justifiable homicide?

Many thanks to everyone for jumping on for this one, even though I was massively tardy! And congratulations to our winners!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Troi: Cigarettes kill people?!

La Forge: Once we've finished building this cage, we can put Wesley in there and never have to worry about him again.

Worf: You will walk or I will carry you!

Q: Hmmmm.... I like both options....

Picard: Welcome to the Bridge! I'm a little shorthanded today...

Whalen: Did he just say he was going to shoot us?

Picard: Not us, You.

Whalen: Wait, What?!

BANG!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks FTW!

Troi: Why no Captain, my Earth history lessons haven't reached Bill Clinton yet. Why do you ask?

La Forge: We've put every copy of Nemesis in here.

Picard: Fire it into the sun!

Worf: How can I stay mad when you're so damn pretty?

Picard: Maybe getting rid of all the useless crew members was a mistake after all...

Whalen: Worst cosplay ever.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Deanna Troi was on her fourth "specially-blended" cigarette when the moose head mounted on the wall told her, "You've had enough!"

Worf: "Pretty puny bicep. I guess you 'godlike super-beings' don't do much manual labor, eh, Sport?"

Whalen: "I'm pretty sure he really is gone by now. Are we really going to stand like this for a full hour before we call the cops?"
Picard: "I gave him my word!"

 

[Holdfast]

RIKER: Put the Rubik's Triacontakaidigon away Geordi, we're in a meeting.

Dancing with TNG Stars: The Tango

PICARD (falsetto):

Lonely I'm Mr Lonely,
I have nobody,
For my own
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
For my own
I'm so lonely...

WHALEN: They call this, Jazz Hands!

 

[Finn]

^ That's the one I tweaked, Leadhead and Jonas Gumby

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Data: I am unfamiliar with the idiom "Hey, Macarena".

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... and there I was, face to face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle... and I've been there ever since.

LA FORGE: And I built it all by myself!!!! Wait till you see it a lit up!!!!

RIKER: And he's Chief Engineer, why?

Q: Go with you quietly??? Have you met me?????

PICARD: Ah, peace and quiet at last.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Deanna: Sometimes a cigarillo is just a cigarillo.

Worf: May I have this dance?

Whalen: I think this is a local gesture that means 'raise the roof'.
Data: There appears to be sufficient clearance. Why should we wish to elevate it further?

Picard, softly: I'm all alone...there's no one here beside me. All my troubles have all gone..

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Hello. I'm Jean-Luc Picard for the Federation Express Card. Don't leave the quadrant without it!"

 

[shivkala]

Worf: Counselor, I do not understand, if you are supposed to be a law enforcement officer, why did you not create a badge?
Troi: Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.

Picard: That's really great, Mr. LaForge, the detail on your model is astounding!
LaForge: Sir, this isn't a model. A transporter mishap accidentally miniaturized it.
Picard: Oh, so that's what you meant by "Geordi's shrinkage problem" Number One!

Q: Jean-Luc, I think Mr. Worf here needs to review the sexual harassment video again.
Picard: Mr. Worf, while he may have caused us trouble in the past, Q is a guest and we should treat him with the utmost respect.
Q: Oh, you thought I was complaining about being harassed! No, mon Capitaine, I was implying he's doing it wrong. I don't feel harassed enough!
Picard: Mr. Worf! You will sexually harass our guest, that is an order.
Worf: If you were any other...
Picard: Yeah, yeah, if I were any other man, blah, blah, just follow your orders Worf!

Picard: Captain's Log, supplemental. Make a note to have Mr. LaForge reprogram my replicator not to allow me to order beans again just before my shift.

Data: Okay, now Simon says stand on one leg.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Lwaxana (o.s.): As your father would say, Little One, don't bogart that joint!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Worf: "Mary Sue?"
Troi: "Mary Jane..."

Picard: "How long until the lateral sensor array is online again, Mr LaForge?"
LaForge: "Um, reply hazy, try again."

Worf: "Nice ridges. Who's your tailor?"

Picard: "There you go, Vash, we have the bridge all to ourselves. Now what was it that you so desperately... oh... oh my..." raises eyebrow and whistles... "Red alert!"

Computer: "Red alert, the ship is now at red alert. All hands to battle stations, this is not a drill. Red alert."

Picard: "That was just a figure of speech you daft bucket of circuitry."

Data: "Curious. I was not aware that holodeck recreations of the gumshoe detective genre required participants to... bhangra?"

 

[TrickyDickie]

Q: "You missed a spot."

Picard: "Dammit Q, I've been at this for over an hour!"

Q: "Would you like to be at it for another hour....in a maid's uniform? Now....recite!"

Picard: "I pledge allegiance to the Q, and to The Continuum, for which He stands, one starship, under Q, indefensible, with licentience and jubilance for Q."

Q: "Very good, Mon Capitan."

Picard: "What is 'licentience'?"

Q: "A unique state of consciousness characterized by absolute sexual liberation."

Picard: "You will not be putting me in a maid's uniform!"

Q: "Isn't your mission all about exploration?"

 

[Ln X]

Data: Counsellor, is that real weed you're smoking?
Troi: Erm... All part of the act Data, the... erm... safeties are on.

Riker: What is it Geordi?
Geordi: If I've read these specifications right, it appears to be capable of inducing orgasms.
Riker: Make a good gift for Troi.

Worf: Klingons do not waltz. They stomp!

What have I done with my life?

Guy: He actually thinks it's a real gun!
Beverly: Yeah shoot us!
Data: A word of advice people; never toy with live weapons.

 

[Finn]

Picard: Computer, commence Bridge Lockout... Omega Five Six Omega Zeta Picard. Play Beverly "Balls Crusher" video

Computer: The porn movie is playing on the main viewer

Picard: *chuckling* Thank goodness I went through Jack's things first...

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: Riker gave me a drawing that said 18 inches. Now, whether or not he knows the difference between feet and inches is not my problem. I do what I'm told.

PICARD: But you're not as confused as him are you. I mean, it's not your job to be as confused as Riker.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

LaForge: "Captain, I wanted to show you this new device I've designed. As you can see, I have it hovering a few inches above the desktop and slowly rotating so we can examine it from every angle."
Picard: "Ah. And what does it do?"
LaForge: "That is what it does."

 

[Isis]

Picard: "You really think the crew will go for this bingo thing?"

Worf: "Oh sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you!"

Whalen: "Hey, aren't you in my Zumba class?"

Picard: "Yes, that's it! I knew you looked familiar."

 

[T'Girl]

Que: "Careful now ... without my powers, I'm soft and delicate."

Worf: "Oh, the other prisoners in the brig are going to love you."